New York Dolls
so okay, i’m back in Toronto after the worst clusterfuck bus ride back from Port Authority. I decided to take the midnight bus instead of taking the bus that left in the morning which would essentially rob me of an entire day. so i had dinner with Randeep at Ella Cafe in Williamsburg, packed my shit up quicker than a bread truck hauls mafia-hit-bodies across the FDR, then booked it to Port Authority.
of course, none of the screens at Port Authority (which in theory would tell travelers which gate they’re departing from) were functioning. also, all the information booths were completely un-manned. i don’t know who’s running Port Authority, but if this was Toronto, these people would be out of a job. what a shit hole.
after lining up at the wrong gate, i finally found my proper gate where a massive line-up for this bus awaited me. it was kinda stupid, everybody and their mother was on the toronto-bound greyhound that only holds 44 people. in addition, the bus was essentially a milk truck (read: it makes stops at every single shit hole hamlet along the way….like a milk truck woulda done back in the day) so people who were just going to fucking syracuse or some other town-that-time-forgot were also queuing up.
anyway, because of the massive line, they asked all us El-Toro’s and barfahole-ers to step aside and take another bus. essentially, this other bus that they lined up for us would head straight for barfahole-buffalo and then El-Toro-toronto, bypassing the other bus which was stopping everywhere, and arriving earlier than expected.
but waiting for this fucking second bus to arrive meant we only left Port Authority at 1:40am! and when we boarded it, we realized it was one of the older shit greyhound buses with no electrical outlets, no wifi, and no refuse bins.
we did arrive at Barfahole earlier than the other bus, about 90 minutes ahead of schedule. at which point we were told to get the fuck off the bus and wait 90 minutes for the first bus to arrive so we could board it. our bus was now decommissioned. fuck you greyhound.
finally got on the bus i was supposed to be on 9 hours earlier, where a man who smelled worse than the bus-loo’s had boarded it without a ticket, hoping to sneak across to Canada. the bus driver ejected him, and i watched from the bus as he wandered aimlessly around the barfahole bus terminal looking for another bus to stow-away on, presumably to run away from his sad life. he was either indigent, homeless, underemployed, or all of the above.
finally made it to toronto where the sun was shining and the customs officers didn’t give me a shit-kicking.
i start my new job this week. i am going to refrain from publicly naming them in any online forum, but as i’ve said in previous posts, i am employed as a staff writer by a woman-run, woman-directed publication and i’m very excited to be joining the team:)
OH AND I WON THIS CONTEST!
WATCH OUT INCANS AND PERUVIANS ALIKE, I’M A-COMING!
i love how adventure-travel opportunities always find a way to factor into my life. i have been traveling since 2005 and not a year goes by that i don’t use my passport. it says in my little bio in the left margin that i’m an explorer, and that moniker encompasses everything i do in life….backpacking, writing, performing….everything. i love being able to exercise that title to its maximum effort, to keep trying new things, meeting new people, and experiencing all that it has to offer, disasters and triumphs alike. this planet is too incredible to stay in one place your entire life, and life is way too short.
life is either a great adventure…..or nothing at all.