Huge huge HUGE fan of Sam 3, a street artist from Spain, but I’ve never found any of his stuff before! Was cycling through Cologne with my boyf a couple weeks ago, and BAM! Huge Sam 3 mural that dates back to 2011, and it’s still there, unblemished!
Last name Win, first name Epic.
This looks like a blob holding a lady in a bottle. Course it could be a dude as well. The absence of genitalia here makes it confusing.
Remember a few months ago when I was still living in London and I found this “buff” piece by Mobstr in Shoreditch? Basically what had happened was, he had put up a piece, the owners of the building had blacked it out, so he went up there again and wrote BUFF BUFF BUFF all around the removal sites.
Well, I was back in London briefly this past week, and what do I see?
They had blacked out his BUFF parts, and so he returned AGAIN, being the awesome shit disturber he is, and put HERE HERE HERE all over it!
I can just imagine the building owners walking outside in the morning, looking back upon their beautiful exposed-brick façade and suddenly exclaiming GAAAAAAAAAH! DAMN YOU MOBSTR. YOU’VE WON AGAIN.
Anyway, as I wandered away from Shoreditch towards Brick Lane, I found another Mobstr piece where he bombs the same wall that he previously had hit, poking fun at his removal.
This probably won’t be available on canvas later.
What’s the arrow pointing at?
The original spot on the wall he had placed that, only to be tagged over.
Shut up, I had to.
Check out my Mobstr category for more of his pieces I’ve photographed around London!
to me, this looks like the character Ophelia from Hamlet. She “supposedly” killed herself in the river after an altercation with Hamlet, but it was never really confirmed in the play. I think she was pushed. Anyway, this beautiful piece which I found at Welling Court in Astoria has a beautiful girl floating along with what look like skulls of her former self floating next to her, denoting death.
i love how artists can take something so mundane and ordinary as a fire hydrant and turn it into something no one ever saw coming.
in the play i wrote, The Spadina Monologues (upon which this blog is based), there is a bit of dialogue between the two characters that fits in here. they’re fighting, and she says to him, “god, you’re such a dog!” and he fires back, “so what does that make you, the fire hydrant?”
the SIX YEAR anniversary for The Spadina Monologues!
i am a powerhouse. that’s dedication. seriously, i hope half you bloggers out there have the stamina and staying power that i’m displaying up in hurrr because it’s hard out here for a blog-pimp (“blimp?”)
over the past 6 years, there’s been travelling, there’s been love affairs, there’s been heart-break, there’s been moving-to-the-other-side-of-the-planet, there’s been reality TV shows, there’s been hollywood movies, there’s been starfucking, there’s been global notoriety, there’s been more love affairs, more backpacking, more heart breaks….there’s been money and theatre and writing and successes….there’s been disasters, epic failures, major embarrassments, and friends-turned-to-foes….and it’s all here documented.
i live in public.
you’re welcome.
here’s to another six years! and to kiboshing all the competition.
i’m still in New York City and it’s like i’m doing a graffiti tour of this amazing city. my eye is trained now to find what everyone else just walks past and ignores. it’s even on the subway, and damn is it good.
this moustache guy is everywhere.
i found out the other day that my Masters Thesis has been put online by either York University, the National Library of Canada, or Google Books (no clue which one of these hosers actually took to the time to scan all 300 pages of this bitch). i wrote this monstrosity in 2006, and at the time, the university said i was on the cutting edge of this type of research in Canada and thusly nominated me for a university-wide graduate thesis award …
i’ve got intelligencia coming outta my academic-tuckus. i double dare you to read it. I TRIPLE DARE YOU.
while i was still in toronto a couple weeks ago, i did a whole bunch of test blogging for a health and wellness publication (you can read some of the articles i wrote in my online writing portfolio), and then they invited me in for an interview where i met the CEO. this particular publication is a female-run & female-targeted with offices both in Toronto and NYC. so when i told them during the interview that i was headed to NYC for a couple weeks, they suggested i meet up with the editors based there as well. so last week, a few days after arriving, i headed to their Broadway offices and met with the editors. we had a lovely chat about the trajectory of the company and other publications they have on the horizon and what not.
the next day, they called me and offered me a full-time staff writer position. if i accepted, i’d be based out of toronto, but there were a few hints here and there that after a year of employment, there would be the option to transfer me to NYC.
i asked them to send me the contract so i could give it a once over and ask some questions….and then thought about it over the weekend.
then promptly accepted the position early monday morning.
HUZZAH!
it’s so funny because as early as february, i was lamenting (read: bitching) to a colleague of mine how poorly freelance writers are treated and that staff writers usually get all the garlands. while i LOVE freelancing, don’t get me wrong, and will continue to freelance whilst in this company, it’s great to be STAFF.
plus, as you all know, i’m all about fostering women’s voices and stories, so to be with a by-women-for-women company is the epitome of awesomesauce.
this opportunity also just kinda fell into my lap. a guy that i had a fickle fling with last year knows the CEO and knew they were looking for writers, so he thought of me and sent me a message letting me know about it.
which was nice of him, considering the last time he was in toronto in january, he caused a shit-storm (you all remember that blog post). he has since atoned for his bad behaviour several times over, so i can’t hold anything against him. i’ll forever think of him fondly as a top lad.
FANKS HOMBRE!
speaking of fickle flings of the past, it would now appear that every single one of my ex’s has a girlfriend. all of ‘em! from the helper-monkey i mentioned above, to the butt-munch who broke my heart over the holidays, to my old london and NYC ex’s, to even the dudes i just casually see… fucking hell, when did everyone start pairing off?
at present, i don’t have a love life to speak of.
none whatsoever.
not even a crush!
i ain’t complainin’ mind you. it’s kind of nice to be man-free. who needs a man when you have a life?
IF YOU HAVIN’ BOY PROBLEMS, I FEEL BAD FOR YA HUN
I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A DICK AIN’T ONE
(hit me)
over the weekend i went to go see a staged reading of the canadian play SIA, produced by Bridge Theatre Company, which was brought to my attention by fellow film critic Glenn Sumi who suggested i attend. i had heard about this play last summer when it went up at the Toronto Fringe, but i didn’t expect to see it in NYC! i was pretty excited to have a slice of home right in the heart of Broadway (well, 54th and 8th, more like)
Sia tells the story of a liberian brother and sister struggling to stay together before the war broke out, whilst simultaneously telling the story of a canadian traveler kidnapped during the war, and how both narratives intersect and affect one another.
and lemme tell ya, all my fellow theatre-addicts, this play, albeit brief (60 minutes? damn you fringe time restraints!), was THE BEST 60 MINUTES OF MY LIFE.
twas LOADED WITH BRILIANCE!
it was relevant, timely, moving, poignant, heartbreaking, funny, clever, and for a mere staged reading, it was superbly acted by the performers.
also, layne’s daughter charlotte was reading the stage directions! i hadda email him and scold him for not telling me she was in NYC at the same time! also, i found out from running into her that he’s coming back to toronto next week. WAIT, WHAT? layne’s like one of my best friends ever, and he didn’t tell me!
he received a double scolding for that.
but hey, i get to see layne again next week!
last name WIN, first name EPIC.
huge crowd at the reception
the theatre was on the 13th floor of an old art-deco manhattan building, classic new york. the space was a large studio with floor-to-ceiling windows, so it kinda felt like we were experiencing theatre in the clouds. such a great atmosphere!
there was a great talkback after the performance, and everyone from the performers, director, playwright, producers, and the audience had brilliant insights for the play and where it should go. i really hope this gets remounted soon because i would maim and mangle my own sister to see a full production of this play.
and you would too. trust me. you so would.
back to graffiti talk! this is why i’m in NYC to begin with, to research and explore street culture and graffiti art, and in my research i had stumbled across details and stories about an entire warehouse building in Queens called 5Pointz, so i knew i hadda check it out, and this was probably one of the single greatest discoveries of my time here. it’s one huge massive converted school (i think) that INVITES popular street artists to come and decorate their exteriors (and interiors). it’s almost like curated graffiti. and some of the stuff is so lovely and vibrant, that while i was there, wedding photos were being taken next to music videos that were being shot.
i was so giddy being here, look at this photojaculation!
awed at street level
it just goes on and on
it don’t matter where ya from!
hahaha rules were made to be broken
i read online that 5Pointz has been sold and will soon be turned into….wait for it….gentrified CONDOS!
ew.
people, if you’re in Queens in the near future, get yo’posterior to 5 Pointz before it’s gone!
i don’t know what ASVP is but dude’s stickers and posters are EVERYWHERE in new york! i can’t turn a corner without seeing a trace of him somewhere!
you KNOW i hadda get myself in on the action
i didn’t drink those brewsky’s on the steps but they sure add to the ‘tude i’m displaying in the photo
if my hip-hop album debut were about to drop, this would be the album cover, surely
blurred for her pleasure
what the hell was i doing here, sniffing the wall?
no no no, i retract that earlier statement…THIS would be my hip-hop album cover. nicely done, estima
aww bless.
wind blown
seriously, let me help you with that.
i mentioned in my last blog post that Jake Dobkin graciously let me interview him for research purposes. a few days later i found out that he was a panelist on the discussion of NYC street photography over at Union Docs in Williamsburg, so i headed over there to their cramped and over-heated space to attend the hotly-debated panel.
it was actually fricken brilliant. three vastly different modes and approaches to street photography were explored and discussed and debated, but I think i preferred Jake’s approach because he was asking questions about systemic problems with street photography, rather than making hard and fast rules about what he thinks it should be.
there’s jake with his powerpoint presentation, well thought out.
… and ethnicities and the poor and the elderly and the disabled…and it goes for the cheap visual joke that isn’t always that funny…..
i took pages of detailed notes and thoughts during this talk that ended up lasting over two hours. i love how i’ve just really thrown myself into the scene here in NYC, you really gotta get your hands dirty if you’re going to discover anything about a counter-culture or sub-culture. you have to climb up a long ladder on your knees. you have to strike out for deep waters without drowning.
as i was leaving Union Docs, i walked past this amazing new piece that i didn’t see at first. it’s so powerful, and really draws your thoughts toward the socio-economic politics it’s portraying. it’s by street artist DOLK
and whoever added this dog with the shotgun is everywhere as well, cuz i’ve seen this exact same piece in soho!
speaking of soho….when you’re walking through soho…or along houston….or through alphabet city…or the east village….remember to keep your eyes averted to the north. specifically, don’t walk by any lamp post or sign pole without inspecting it….what’s so great about this one, you ask? look closer..
these posters and stickers are SO hard to find now because most of them have been taken down….street art in general has such a short shelf life, so finding something like this is a real find. a coup, if you will. if you don’t know the infamous Shepard Fairey by name, you definitely know his work. remember this poster? of course you do. well, guess who was behind it!
omfguy no way, there’s TWO stickers on this pole. BRAINGASM.
you shoulda seen me when i found these stickers. i literally squealed out loud, rushed to find my camera, and started jumping up and down giggling like a school girl as i got happy-snappy with the point-and-shoot. you’d think i’d just won the lottery or something.
speaking of winning the lottery, as i walked through alphabet city, i looked up to see ANOTHER rare rare rare find on the wall. see it?
IT’S A SPACE INVADER!! again, most of space invader’s work has been taken down or has disappeared, so finding one still lurking about is a real treat!!
GIDDY, I TELLS YA!! i actually didn’t want to walk away from it, i just wanted to stay next to it like i was in an afterglow
haw haw haw!! get it??
alphabet city and the east village have all kinds of these hidden gardens (open to the public) where former occupied space is turned into reclaimed nature.
i’m cute as a bug.
but street artists have cleverly melded some messages even in the gardens. LOVES IT.
i should put this sticker on every bad boyfriend i’ve ever had
hoot.
yo i’ll put it blunt if that’s what you want, yo i am a cunt and that’s what you want, you take afront, just shake ya butt, just shake ya butt New York City!! WHAT?
why did i take a photo of this comic book store? remember this episode? it’s kinda my favourite episode of the series…of all time.
katsu‘s been getting a lot of press lately….but his stuff is taken down before i get a chance to see it!
this was a massively HUUUUGE mural off of Bowery….i know i’ve seen this artist before, can someone fill a sister in?
this piece off of Bowery as well was fresh, done in the past few weeks, i reckon. it was on the wall of hotel, so surely they’ll remove it soon. but it’s so lovely….same artist as above i think
seriously, who did this? I LOVE IT.
how embarrassing it would be if you knew what i was thinking of.
found this buried in a deep dark alleyway off of bleeker.
i love you too, random small sticker on a lamp post!
so amber is taking guitar lessons, and her dorky-hot guitar teacher was playing in a live jazz band at 55 Bar in Greenwich Village, so we went to check him out…..is listening to jazz in a musky bar in the village just a little too precious? yes.
was it awesome? also yes.
we’re so smiley cute.
now we’re sexy
now we’re cute again!!
i had just gone for a run in the Cobble Hill area of brooklyn earlier in the day, so i couldn’t stay too long in the night (was exhausted from all the beauty in Cobble Hill more than the run!), but i’m glad i checked out the gaybourhood jazz of greenwich at least!
i’m now crashing on a friend’s couch in williamsburg, and since i’ve been there, i’ve already bought myself a great pair of cheap second hand Chuck Taylors (fuck you The Public Butter!! trynna charge $20 for beat-up Chucks? kiss my ass!) AND i’ve gone for a run through the area which is populated mostly by hasidic jews….
hasidic jews are a weird bunch. technically they’re not allowed to touch women, but they wouldn’t get out of my way as i was barreling toward them in my running shoes and sweat shirt. seriously, the street was LOADED with them, i felt like i was in 1930s Poland…or a Russian shtetl….except they were on cell phones….or behind the wheel of their SUVs.
i think the hasids were staring at me because i was wearing tights and running which i guess could be considered unladylike to them. whatever, it’s a free country (wait…is it?). just cuz hasidic jews occupy the area doesn’t mean i can’t jog through it.
although i had to suppress the urge to slap one of them on the ass as i sprinted by. that woulda been hella-funny and loaded with WIN. i didn’t though, sorry raibbis!
why yes. yes you do.
look at the size of an extra large Timmy’s here!! no wonder americans are so fat, it’s like a litre of coffee!! what is this, a Big Gulp?
it’s bigger than four hands!
today is my last full day in NYC, tomorrow i return to Toronto.
being in NYC these past two weeks really has been something. I have done so much, seen so much, met some really cool people, and i feel like i’ve achieved something. a working holiday in the true sense of the word, my writing has definitely been given a shot in the arm. i am so inspired. in fact, i kinda already feel like a new yorker. i know my way around, i know where everything is, and i’m rejecting all the tourist-y bullshit-y things that people generally do in NYC in favour of a more local experience.
the SIX YEAR anniversary for The Spadina Monologues!
i am a powerhouse. that’s dedication. seriously, i hope half you bloggers out there have the stamina and staying power that i’m displaying up in hurrr because it’s hard out here for a blog-pimp (“blimp?”)
over the past 6 years, there’s been travelling, there’s been love affairs, there’s been heart-break, there’s been moving-to-the-other-side-of-the-planet, there’s been reality TV shows, there’s been hollywood movies, there’s been starfucking, there’s been global notoriety, there’s been more love affairs, more backpacking, more heart breaks….there’s been money and theatre and writing and successes….there’s been disasters, epic failures, major embarrassments, and friends-turned-to-foes….and it’s all here documented.
i live in public.
you’re welcome.
here’s to another six years! and to kiboshing all the competition.
i’m still in New York City and it’s like i’m doing a graffiti tour of this amazing city. my eye is trained now to find what everyone else just walks past and ignores. it’s even on the subway, and damn is it good.
this moustache guy is everywhere.
i found out the other day that my Masters Thesis has been put online by either York University, the National Library of Canada, or Google Books (no clue which one of these hosers actually took to the time to scan all 300 pages of this bitch). i wrote this monstrosity in 2006, and at the time, the university said i was on the cutting edge of this type of research in Canada and thusly nominated me for a university-wide graduate thesis award …
i’ve got intelligencia coming outta my academic-tuckus. i double dare you to read it. I TRIPLE DARE YOU.
while i was still in toronto a couple weeks ago, i did a whole bunch of test blogging for a health and wellness publication (you can read some of the articles i wrote in my online writing portfolio), and then they invited me in for an interview where i met the CEO. this particular publication is a female-run & female-targeted with offices both in Toronto and NYC. so when i told them during the interview that i was headed to NYC for a couple weeks, they suggested i meet up with the editors based there as well. so last week, a few days after arriving, i headed to their Broadway offices and met with the editors. we had a lovely chat about the trajectory of the company and other publications they have on the horizon and what not.
the next day, they called me and offered me a full-time staff writer position. if i accepted, i’d be based out of toronto, but there were a few hints here and there that after a year of employment, there would be the option to transfer me to NYC.
i asked them to send me the contract so i could give it a once over and ask some questions….and then thought about it over the weekend.
then promptly accepted the position early monday morning.
HUZZAH!
it’s so funny because as early as february, i was lamenting (read: bitching) to a colleague of mine how poorly freelance writers are treated and that staff writers usually get all the garlands. while i LOVE freelancing, don’t get me wrong, and will continue to freelance whilst in this company, it’s great to be STAFF.
plus, as you all know, i’m all about fostering women’s voices and stories, so to be with a by-women-for-women company is the epitome of awesomesauce.
this opportunity also just kinda fell into my lap. a guy that i had a fickle fling with last year knows the CEO and knew they were looking for writers, so he thought of me and sent me a message letting me know about it.
which was nice of him, considering the last time he was in toronto in january, he caused a shit-storm (you all remember that blog post). he has since atoned for his bad behaviour several times over, so i can’t hold anything against him. i’ll forever think of him fondly as a top lad.
FANKS HOMBRE!
speaking of fickle flings of the past, it would now appear that every single one of my ex’s has a girlfriend. all of ‘em! from the helper-monkey i mentioned above, to the butt-munch who broke my heart over the holidays, to my old london and NYC ex’s, to even the dudes i just casually see… fucking hell, when did everyone start pairing off?
at present, i don’t have a love life to speak of.
none whatsoever.
not even a crush!
i ain’t complainin’ mind you. it’s kind of nice to be man-free. who needs a man when you have a life?
IF YOU HAVIN’ BOY PROBLEMS, I FEEL BAD FOR YA HUN
I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A DICK AIN’T ONE
(hit me)
over the weekend i went to go see a staged reading of the canadian play SIA, produced by Bridge Theatre Company, which was brought to my attention by fellow film critic Glenn Sumi who suggested i attend. i had heard about this play last summer when it went up at the Toronto Fringe, but i didn’t expect to see it in NYC! i was pretty excited to have a slice of home right in the heart of Broadway (well, 54th and 8th, more like)
Sia tells the story of a liberian brother and sister struggling to stay together before the war broke out, whilst simultaneously telling the story of a canadian traveler kidnapped during the war, and how both narratives intersect and affect one another.
and lemme tell ya, all my fellow theatre-addicts, this play, albeit brief (60 minutes? damn you fringe time restraints!), was THE BEST 60 MINUTES OF MY LIFE.
twas LOADED WITH BRILIANCE!
it was relevant, timely, moving, poignant, heartbreaking, funny, clever, and for a mere staged reading, it was superbly acted by the performers.
also, layne’s daughter charlotte was reading the stage directions! i hadda email him and scold him for not telling me she was in NYC at the same time! also, i found out from running into her that he’s coming back to toronto next week. WAIT, WHAT? layne’s like one of my best friends ever, and he didn’t tell me!
he received a double scolding for that.
but hey, i get to see layne again next week!
last name WIN, first name EPIC.
huge crowd at the reception
the theatre was on the 13th floor of an old art-deco manhattan building, classic new york. the space was a large studio with floor-to-ceiling windows, so it kinda felt like we were experiencing theatre in the clouds. such a great atmosphere!
there was a great talkback after the performance, and everyone from the performers, director, playwright, producers, and the audience had brilliant insights for the play and where it should go. i really hope this gets remounted soon because i would maim and mangle my own sister to see a full production of this play.
and you would too. trust me. you so would.
back to graffiti talk! this is why i’m in NYC to begin with, to research and explore street culture and graffiti art, and in my research i had stumbled across details and stories about an entire warehouse building in Queens called 5Pointz, so i knew i hadda check it out, and this was probably one of the single greatest discoveries of my time here. it’s one huge massive converted school (i think) that INVITES popular street artists to come and decorate their exteriors (and interiors). it’s almost like curated graffiti. and some of the stuff is so lovely and vibrant, that while i was there, wedding photos were being taken next to music videos that were being shot.
i was so giddy being here, look at this photojaculation!
awed at street level
it just goes on and on
it don’t matter where ya from!
hahaha rules were made to be broken
i read online that 5Pointz has been sold and will soon be turned into….wait for it….gentrified CONDOS!
ew.
people, if you’re in Queens in the near future, get yo’posterior to 5 Pointz before it’s gone!
i don’t know what ASVP is but dude’s stickers and posters are EVERYWHERE in new york! i can’t turn a corner without seeing a trace of him somewhere!
you KNOW i hadda get myself in on the action
i didn’t drink those brewsky’s on the steps but they sure add to the ‘tude i’m displaying in the photo
if my hip-hop album debut were about to drop, this would be the album cover, surely
blurred for her pleasure
what the hell was i doing here, sniffing the wall?
no no no, i retract that earlier statement…THIS would be my hip-hop album cover. nicely done, estima
aww bless.
wind blown
seriously, let me help you with that.
i mentioned in my last blog post that Jake Dobkin graciously let me interview him for research purposes. a few days later i found out that he was a panelist on the discussion of NYC street photography over at Union Docs in Williamsburg, so i headed over there to their cramped and over-heated space to attend the hotly-debated panel.
it was actually fricken brilliant. three vastly different modes and approaches to street photography were explored and discussed and debated, but I think i preferred Jake’s approach because he was asking questions about systemic problems with street photography, rather than making hard and fast rules about what he thinks it should be.
there’s jake with his powerpoint presentation, well thought out.
… and ethnicities and the poor and the elderly and the disabled…and it goes for the cheap visual joke that isn’t always that funny…..
i took pages of detailed notes and thoughts during this talk that ended up lasting over two hours. i love how i’ve just really thrown myself into the scene here in NYC, you really gotta get your hands dirty if you’re going to discover anything about a counter-culture or sub-culture. you have to climb up a long ladder on your knees. you have to strike out for deep waters without drowning.
as i was leaving Union Docs, i walked past this amazing new piece that i didn’t see at first. it’s so powerful, and really draws your thoughts toward the socio-economic politics it’s portraying.
and whoever added this dog with the shotgun is everywhere as well, cuz i’ve seen this exact same piece in soho!
speaking of soho….when you’re walking through soho…or along houston….or through alphabet city…or the east village….remember to keep your eyes averted to the north. specifically, don’t walk by any lamp post or sign pole without inspecting it….what’s so great about this one, you ask? look closer..
these posters and stickers are SO hard to find now because most of them have been taken down….street art in general has such a short shelf life, so finding something like this is a real find. a coup, if you will. if you don’t know the infamous Shepard Fairey by name, you definitely know his work. remember this poster? of course you do. well, guess who was behind it!
omfguy no way, there’s TWO stickers on this pole. BRAINGASM.
you shoulda seen me when i found these stickers. i literally squealed out loud, rushed to find my camera, and started jumping up and down giggling like a school girl as i got happy-snappy with the point-and-shoot. you’d think i’d just won the lottery or something.
speaking of winning the lottery, as i walked through alphabet city, i looked up to see ANOTHER rare rare rare find on the wall. see it?
IT’S A SPACE INVADER!! again, most of space invader’s work has been taken down or has disappeared, so finding one still lurking about is a real treat!!
GIDDY, I TELLS YA!! i actually didn’t want to walk away from it, i just wanted to stay next to it like i was in an afterglow
haw haw haw!! get it??
alphabet city and the east village have all kinds of these hidden gardens (open to the public) where former occupied space is turned into reclaimed nature.
i’m cute as a bug.
but street artists have cleverly melded some messages even in the gardens. LOVES IT.
i should put this sticker on every bad boyfriend i’ve ever had
hoot.
yo i’ll put it blunt if that’s what you want, yo i am a cunt and that’s what you want, you take afront, just shake ya butt, just shake ya butt New York City!! WHAT?
why did i take a photo of this comic book store? remember this episode? it’s kinda my favourite episode of the series…of all time.
katsu‘s been getting a lot of press lately….but his stuff is taken down before i get a chance to see it!
this was a massively HUUUUGE mural off of Bowery….i know i’ve seen this artist before, can someone fill a sister in?
this piece off of Bowery as well was fresh, done in the past few weeks, i reckon. it was on the wall of hotel, so surely they’ll remove it soon. but it’s so lovely….same artist as above i think
seriously, who did this? I LOVE IT.
how embarrassing it would be if you knew what i was thinking of.
found this buried in a deep dark alleyway off of bleeker.
i love you too, random small sticker on a lamp post!
so amber is taking guitar lessons, and her dorky-hot guitar teacher was playing in a live jazz band at 55 Bar in Greenwich Village, so we went to check him out…..is listening to jazz in a musky bar in the village just a little too precious? yes.
was it awesome? also yes.
we’re so smiley cute.
now we’re sexy
now we’re cute again!!
i had just gone for a run in the Cobble Hill area of brooklyn earlier in the day, so i couldn’t stay too long in the night (was exhausted from all the beauty in Cobble Hill more than the run!), but i’m glad i checked out the gaybourhood jazz of greenwich at least!
i’m now crashing on a friend’s couch in williamsburg, and since i’ve been there, i’ve already bought myself a great pair of cheap second hand Chuck Taylors (fuck you The Public Butter!! trynna charge $20 for beat-up Chucks? kiss my ass!) AND i’ve gone for a run through the area which is populated mostly by hasidic jews….
hasidic jews are a weird bunch. technically they’re not allowed to touch women, but they wouldn’t get out of my way as i was barreling toward them in my running shoes and sweat shirt. seriously, the street was LOADED with them, i felt like i was in 1930s Poland…or a Russian shtetl….except they were on cell phones….or behind the wheel of their SUVs.
i think the hasids were staring at me because i was wearing tights and running which i guess could be considered unladylike to them. whatever, it’s a free country (wait…is it?). just cuz hasidic jews occupy the area doesn’t mean i can’t jog through it.
although i had to suppress the urge to slap one of them on the ass as i sprinted by. that woulda been hella-funny and loaded with WIN. i didn’t though, sorry raibbis!
why yes. yes you do.
look at the size of an extra large Timmy’s here!! no wonder americans are so fat, it’s like a litre of coffee!! what is this, a Big Gulp?
it’s bigger than four hands!
today is my last full day in NYC, tomorrow i return to Toronto.
being in NYC these past two weeks really has been something. I have done so much, seen so much, met some really cool people, and i feel like i’ve achieved something. a working holiday in the true sense of the word, my writing has definitely been given a shot in the arm. i am so inspired. in fact, i kinda already feel like a new yorker. i know my way around, i know where everything is, and i’m rejecting all the tourist-y bullshit-y things that people generally do in NYC in favour of a more local experience.
more of my articles have gone live up on BlissTree. I’ve been writing my fingers off, and it’s kinda great to feel carpal tunnel whilst simultaneously delivering so much content on a daily basis, gets me motivated to do so much more writing. i have so many ideas! i’m oh so hire-able! this article I wrote called Eat Pray Burn was a lot of fun actually, it’s about how wealthy white women are more prone to melanoma, according to a new study!
this article was also rather fun because i was scoffing at all these news studies that essentially tell people good news about their bad habits. in Scare Tacticsi poke fun at an article that says old people will die if they try to workout or have sex!
this article i wrote on Potassium Iodide is more of a news-y article, documenting the recent radiation scare from Japan and how Canadians are buying up all the Potassium Iodide pills from the shops out west
i also wrote a really cool essay about last week when i was sick and a Drug-Free Experiment i did….basically, instead of relying on over-the-counter cold meds to get through the cold, i took nothing but natural supplements, and had some interesting results. read on, pilgrims.
i leave for New York Cittttt-Aaaaay on sunday, i’ll be staying at the Coward Johnson’s (aka friend’s couches) and i’m so superfunhappyballs about it that i’m bursting with fruit flavour (taste the flavour). i’ve done almost next to no planning for it either. all i know is i have a ticket to see The Daily Show with Jon Stewart one day, a few off-off-off-broadway shows i kinda wanna see another day, and some graffiti-artist-street-art-areas i deffo wanna scope out for a scoop…
….other than that, i am at liberty.
i am going to write and wander and be a flanneur and be the most anonymous ghost in the city where everyone walks and everyone talks.
astoria, brooklyn, and williamsburg, you are about to get the Estima-Bump.
that being said, i dunno if i’ll have the time to blog before i leave.
so this friday, i want you all to show up at 7pm at the Tarragon Theatre to see me in a musical! it’s part of the paprika festival, it’s called Alligator Tears, and i play the town gossip (how apropos). I sing A LOT with a few solos (kill me now), and tickets are only $10.
photo by rob kempson, during rehearsal for Alligator Tears, you can see my un-make-up’d mug in the background
also, i’m not gonna talk too much about this because i don’t want to jinx it, but last week i was telling a friend about a big audition i heard about that’s happening this saturday in toronto. now i’m not an actor by trade (although all evidence to contrary, lately), but i do enjoy being in a play or musical every now and then. i do about one a year (and believe me, that’s plenty). anyway, it struck me as i was trying to encourage my friend to go the audition (he refused), that i should be saying this to myself. i thought, “why don’t i go? i’ve got stuff prepared… might as well give it a go. will brush up on my audition-skills. have a giggle.”
considering this big audition is probably gonna cause huge line-ups and half of toronto’s hopefuls will be there, i am under no delusions that i have shot in hell, especially since i’m leaving for NEW YORK CITTTT-AAAYYY the next day, but hey, even gretzsky said “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” so yes, i’ll be there early in the morning, freezing my vocal chords in the unseasonable march-sadness weather, but imma be there nonetheless.
wish me luck! (don’t say macbeth)
RIP
your heroine went to three amazing press screenings last week for upcoming films. these are serious givin’r movies, mark my words. i was really impressed, because lately the only things i’ve been invited to are bullshit hollywood wank-fests.
finally it was family-friendly heartwarming drama win win starring montreal-hard-on-boy paul giamatti
you will have a hard time finding flaws with these three vastly differing but immensely rich films. go see them when they open. YOU’RE WELCOME.
also, another thing imma remain tight-lipped about (but am very optimistic about my chances) is an opportunity that has just arisen for me to stay in the south of france this upcoming fall at a chateau and blog for them with some funding. if i can organize inexpensive enough travel there (and secure the grant-attached writing gig i’m applying for in conjunction with this opportunity), this could really be something.
more of my articles have gone live up on BlissTree. I’ve been writing my fingers off, and it’s kinda great to feel carpal tunnel whilst simultaneously delivering so much content on a daily basis, gets me motivated to do so much more writing. i have so many ideas! i’m oh so hire-able! this article I wrote called Eat Pray Burn was a lot of fun actually, it’s about how wealthy white women are more prone to melanoma, according to a new study!
this article was also rather fun because i was scoffing at all these news studies that essentially tell people good news about their bad habits. in Scare Tacticsi poke fun at an article that says old people will die if they try to workout or have sex!
this article i wrote on Potassium Iodide is more of a news-y article, documenting the recent radiation scare from Japan and how Canadians are buying up all the Potassium Iodide pills from the shops out west
i also wrote a really cool essay about last week when i was sick and a Drug-Free Experiment i did….basically, instead of relying on over-the-counter cold meds to get through the cold, i took nothing but natural supplements, and had some interesting results. read on, pilgrims.
i leave for New York Cittttt-Aaaaay on sunday, i’ll be staying at the Coward Johnson’s (aka friend’s couches) and i’m so superfunhappyballs about it that i’m bursting with fruit flavour (taste the flavour). i’ve done almost next to no planning for it either. all i know is i have a ticket to see The Daily Show with Jon Stewart one day, a few off-off-off-broadway shows i kinda wanna see another day, and some graffiti-artist-street-art-areas i deffo wanna scope out for a scoop…
….other than that, i am at liberty.
i am going to write and wander and be a flanneur and be the most anonymous ghost in the city where everyone walks and everyone talks.
astoria, brooklyn, and williamsburg, you are about to get the Estima-Bump.
that being said, i dunno if i’ll have the time to blog before i leave.
so this friday, i want you all to show up at 7pm at the Tarragon Theatre to see me in a musical! it’s part of the paprika festival, it’s called Alligator Tears, and i play the town gossip (how apropos). I sing A LOT with a few solos (kill me now), and tickets are only $10.
photo by rob kempson, during rehearsal for Alligator Tears, you can see my un-make-up’d mug in the background
also, i’m not gonna talk too much about this because i don’t want to jinx it, but last week i was telling a friend about a big audition i heard about that’s happening this saturday in toronto. now i’m not an actor by trade (although all evidence to contrary, lately), but i do enjoy being in a play or musical every now and then. i do about one a year (and believe me, that’s plenty). anyway, it struck me as i was trying to encourage my friend to go the audition (he refused), that i should be saying this to myself. i thought, “why don’t i go? i’ve got stuff prepared… might as well give it a go. will brush up on my audition-skills. have a giggle.”
considering this big audition is probably gonna cause huge line-ups and half of toronto’s hopefuls will be there, i am under no delusions that i have shot in hell, especially since i’m leaving for NEW YORK CITTTT-AAAYYY the next day, but hey, even gretzsky said “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” so yes, i’ll be there early in the morning, freezing my vocal chords in the unseasonable march-sadness weather, but imma be there nonetheless.
wish me luck! (don’t say macbeth)
RIP
your heroine went to three amazing press screenings last week for upcoming films. these are serious givin’r movies, mark my words. i was really impressed, because lately the only things i’ve been invited to are bullshit hollywood wank-fests.
finally it was family-friendly heartwarming drama win win starring montreal-hard-on-boy paul giamatti
you will have a hard time finding flaws with these three vastly differing but immensely rich films. go see them when they open. YOU’RE WELCOME.
also, another thing imma remain tight-lipped about (but am very optimistic about my chances) is an opportunity that has just arisen for me to stay in the south of france this upcoming fall at a chateau and blog for them with some funding. if i can organize inexpensive enough travel there (and secure the grant-attached writing gig i’m applying for in conjunction with this opportunity), this could really be something.
i have been working on so many freelance writing assignments lately. so much so that my Online Writing Portfolio required a massive overhaul!
i think my fingers have lost all feeling. pencils worn down to angry inches. laptop keyboard letters rubbed off in frenzied fury. deadlines deadlines deadlines! the life of a writer is never easy but it can be exciting….exclamation point.
i also wrote a DVD review of Room In Rome . . . two lezzers + one boiled cucumber= bullshit drama. shame on you Julio Medem!
i’ve started freelancing for BlissTree, a health-related blog for women over 30. nothing cutesy and sparse use of exclamation points. i’m not 100% sure if this freelance gig is locked-down, i think there’s still some negotiations to be had, but they’ve published three of my articles already, so i’m hoping more assignments are around the corner….
my first blog for them is Exercise in Bed: Sex is Good for You! WARNING: MAY CONTAIN A DILDO-BOMB AND A STRAP-ON ASIDE…..NSFW. or is it??? hmmmmm.
secondly, i wrote a blog called Is This An Eating Disorder?which explores how far women will take their portion control and meal plans in the quest for perfection….and on the flip side, how forgetting these rules can damage your health. if you’re skinny or if you’re fat (which applies to everyone, i think), please read and comment!
i sing! i act! i kibosh everyone who dares step into my spotlight!
i’m like lana turner, but with talent.
boo-yah.
case in point:
i’m in a staged reading of a musical called Alligator Tears, which is part of this year’sPaprika Fest. today’s performance at 1pm is free, and on the 25th the performance at 7pm is only $10 (it’s a benefit for the fest) so if you miss todays, please come to the benefit. I play Jeanette the town gossip, and I sing A LOT in this and have a few solos, so come check me out. The show is at the Tarragon Theatre, and if you click on all of those fricken links I just embedded you’ll find all the info you need. Hope to see you at the theatre!
allegra and I, going all lezzer at #loserkaraoke on St Patrick’s Day. Mild concern? Humbug.
i love cracking masculine codes.
“i’d like to hang out more” means “i want to have sex with you.”
“come over and we’ll watch a DVD” means “we’re having sex.”
…and, of course…
“i don’t have the time to give you the attention you deserve” means “a relationship with you? dream on.”
i have been working on so many freelance writing assignments lately. so much so that my Online Writing Portfolio required a massive overhaul!
i think my fingers have lost all feeling. pencils worn down to angry inches. laptop keyboard letters rubbed off in frenzied fury. deadlines deadlines deadlines! the life of a writer is never easy but it can be exciting….exclamation point.
i also wrote a DVD review of Room In Rome . . . two lezzers + one boiled cucumber= bullshit drama. shame on you Julio Medem!
i’ve started freelancing for BlissTree, a health-related blog for women over 30. nothing cutesy and sparse use of exclamation points. i’m not 100% sure if this freelance gig is locked-down, i think there’s still some negotiations to be had, but they’ve published three of my articles already, so i’m hoping more assignments are around the corner….
my first blog for them is Exercise in Bed: Sex is Good for You! WARNING: MAY CONTAIN A DILDO-BOMB AND A STRAP-ON ASIDE…..NSFW. or is it??? hmmmmm.
secondly, i wrote a blog called Is This An Eating Disorder?which explores how far women will take their portion control and meal plans in the quest for perfection….and on the flip side, how forgetting these rules can damage your health. if you’re skinny or if you’re fat (which applies to everyone, i think), please read and comment!
i sing! i act! i kibosh everyone who dares step into my spotlight!
i’m like lana turner, but with talent.
boo-yah.
case in point:
i’m in a staged reading of a musical called Alligator Tears, which is part of this year’sPaprika Fest. today’s performance at 1pm is free, and on the 25th the performance at 7pm is only $10 (it’s a benefit for the fest) so if you miss todays, please come to the benefit. I play Jeanette the town gossip, and I sing A LOT in this and have a few solos, so come check me out. The show is at the Tarragon Theatre, and if you click on all of those fricken links I just embedded you’ll find all the info you need. Hope to see you at the theatre!
allegra and I, going all lezzer at #loserkaraoke on St Patrick’s Day. Mild concern? Humbug.
i love cracking masculine codes.
“i’d like to hang out more” means “i want to have sex with you.”
“come over and we’ll watch a DVD” means “we’re having sex.”
…and, of course…
“i don’t have the time to give you the attention you deserve” means “a relationship with you? dream on.”
check out my film review ofAlamar, a film about the bond between father and son, that blurs the line between documentary and fiction. but, as they say on reading rainbow, don’t take my word for it……
just found out i was quoted in THE LONDON TELEGRAPH back in january and didn’t know it. my film reviews have global reach, bitches.
also, i was interviewed/quoted in a nathaniel g moore article published in Open Book Toronto which you can read here about the state of the short story versus the novel. i love how mr moore calls me a “cultural persona” and “lass about town” (hit the nail on the head, ‘natch). it’s interesting reading what other people in canada’s literary scene (aka “Can.Lit”…..aka “CLit”) have to say about it. it’s great that we’re getting a discussion going about this because too much snobbery exists in both veins and it’s good to get this out. especially as a writer. if you’re attempting either of these forms of literature, this is a must read.
back in january, i was an invited panelist at York U on the subject of Writing/Creative Writing/Publishing and how to make a career out of it. now I’ve been invited back by the university newspaper Excalibur, which i used to write for waaaay back in the day, to speak to journalism students and current Excalibur writers on how to make a career out of journalism. if you’re a York U student interested in a career in journalism and want to hear how i became the UTTER SUCCESS (tumbleweed) that i am today, come out on monday, march 7th at 4:30pm in room 420 of the Student Centre on campus, and watch me yap yap yap about myself. best pastime ever.
i’ve been cast in a musical theatre production called Alligator Tears which will have a couple performances at this year’s Paprika Festival at the Tarragon Theatre. it won’t be a polished performance, we’ll all probably have script-in-hand, but it’s a hella-funny musical about rural Ontario in the 1950s. the musical is by Britta Johnson. i play a town gossip.
how apropos.
details here:
Performances of Alligator Tears:
Saturday March 19 @ 1 PM
Friday March 25 @ 8 PM
Tickets
Tickets are on sale now through the Tarragon Theatre box office!
Tickets to the Paprika Festival are FREE! With one exception. The Friday night performance of Alligator Tears is doubling as a fundraising performance for the festival. This means ticket to this performance will be $10 each. More details about the evening will follow shortly!
Regardless of whether the tickets are free or $10, we suggest that you reserve ahead of time We absolutely had shows sell out last year so make sure you reserve your tickets in advance if you really want to see something. The Tarragon box office phone number is 416.531.1827 or you can also reserve them online through their website at www.tarragontheatre.com/tickets. There will be a limit on how many tickets one person can reserve to this year’s Festival. We are limiting reservations to four tickets per show per person.
SEE YOU AT THE PLAYHOUSE, you theatre-junkies!
i went to the press screening of Source Codeearlier in the week, starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Vera Farmiga, Jeffrey Wright, and Russell Peters (somebody gonna get a-hurt real bad). it’s like speculative fiction meets Run Lola Run meets Groundhog Day meets Ghost. lots of improbable technobabble, overwrought histrionics, some pretty cool CGI, and a message about enjoying the gift of life, or whatever. i was kinda torn on whether the performances were sufficiently satisfying, but really, the only person who consistently never disappoints is Jeffrey Wright. the man is a fireball (and surely has fire-balls in a non-STD fashion). the film opens April 1st, and there’s lots of hype surrounding it, so it will surely do well at the box office. it’s definitely an interesting idea with some cool action sequences, but there’s a repetitiveness of it that isn’t compelling enough to keep predictability at bay. i’ve said too much already.
watch the trailer here:
a warning about Christine Estima:
i do not forgive the follies and vices of others, nor their offences against me. my good opinion, once lost, is lost forever.
i have neither the time nor the inclination to indulge your need for redemption. your selfish disdain for my feelings was colossal. there is no road home.
check out my film review ofAlamar, a film about the bond between father and son, that blurs the line between documentary and fiction. but, as they say on reading rainbow, don’t take my word for it……
just found out i was quoted in THE LONDON TELEGRAPH back in january and didn’t know it. my film reviews have global reach, bitches.
also, i was interviewed/quoted in a nathaniel g moore article published in Open Book Toronto which you can read here about the state of the short story versus the novel. i love how mr moore calls me a “cultural persona” and “lass about town” (hit the nail on the head, ‘natch). it’s interesting reading what other people in canada’s literary scene (aka “Can.Lit”…..aka “CLit”) have to say about it. it’s great that we’re getting a discussion going about this because too much snobbery exists in both veins and it’s good to get this out. especially as a writer. if you’re attempting either of these forms of literature, this is a must read.
back in january, i was an invited panelist at York U on the subject of Writing/Creative Writing/Publishing and how to make a career out of it. now I’ve been invited back by the university newspaper Excalibur, which i used to write for waaaay back in the day, to speak to journalism students and current Excalibur writers on how to make a career out of journalism. if you’re a York U student interested in a career in journalism and want to hear how i became the UTTER SUCCESS (tumbleweed) that i am today, come out on monday, march 7th at 4:30pm in room 420 of the Student Centre on campus, and watch me yap yap yap about myself. best pastime ever.
i’ve been cast in a musical theatre production called Alligator Tears which will have a couple performances at this year’s Paprika Festival at the Tarragon Theatre. it won’t be a polished performance, we’ll all probably have script-in-hand, but it’s a hella-funny musical about rural Ontario in the 1950s. the musical is by Britta Johnson. i play a town gossip.
how apropos.
details here:
Performances of Alligator Tears:
Saturday March 19 @ 1 PM
Friday March 25 @ 8 PM
Tickets
Tickets are on sale now through the Tarragon Theatre box office!
Tickets to the Paprika Festival are FREE! With one exception. The Friday night performance of Alligator Tears is doubling as a fundraising performance for the festival. This means ticket to this performance will be $10 each. More details about the evening will follow shortly!
Regardless of whether the tickets are free or $10, we suggest that you reserve ahead of time We absolutely had shows sell out last year so make sure you reserve your tickets in advance if you really want to see something. The Tarragon box office phone number is 416.531.1827 or you can also reserve them online through their website at www.tarragontheatre.com/tickets. There will be a limit on how many tickets one person can reserve to this year’s Festival. We are limiting reservations to four tickets per show per person.
SEE YOU AT THE PLAYHOUSE, you theatre-junkies!
i went to the press screening of Source Codeearlier in the week, starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Vera Farmiga, Jeffrey Wright, and Russell Peters (somebody gonna get a-hurt real bad). it’s like speculative fiction meets Run Lola Run meets Groundhog Day meets Ghost. lots of improbable technobabble, overwrought histrionics, some pretty cool CGI, and a message about enjoying the gift of life, or whatever. i was kinda torn on whether the performances were sufficiently satisfying, but really, the only person who consistently never disappoints is Jeffrey Wright. the man is a fireball (and surely has fire-balls in a non-STD fashion). the film opens April 1st, and there’s lots of hype surrounding it, so it will surely do well at the box office. it’s definitely an interesting idea with some cool action sequences, but there’s a repetitiveness of it that isn’t compelling enough to keep predictability at bay. i’ve said too much already.
watch the trailer here:
a warning about Christine Estima:
i do not forgive the follies and vices of others, nor their offences against me. my good opinion, once lost, is lost forever.
i have neither the time nor the inclination to indulge your need for redemption. your selfish disdain for my feelings was colossal. there is no road home.
check out my live concert review of Biffy Clyro‘s sold out show here in toronto last week. they were nominated for several Brit awards recently, and i think they were much deserved. great concert by a band relatively unknown here in north america but are MASSIVE back home in the UK. yeah, i said ‘back home.”
also check out my film review of Biutifulwhich i wrote last year when the film was screened at TIFF but was just released commercially last week. javier bardem has a best actor oscar nod for his performance and this film is up for best foreign language film (against canada’s Incendies...tough race)
i was contacted recently by this dude whom i blogged about last fall. the dude from my childhood growing up in the suburbs of montreal. he’s gonna be in toronto next week for a short few days and wants to catch up.
i haven’t seen the man since 1993 when i was a gawky pre-pubescent growing up on the wrong side of fortune. everything that happened back then, i put that to bed a long time ago and have dealt with it, but that was only made possible by him being so far out of my life without chance of re-entering. i’m kind of petrified of coming face to face with the catalyst for so much pain. he’s a different person now, and has been very supportive as of late. but saying hello to old ghosts wasn’t really on the agenda…
it’s not gonna stop me from seeing him, for nothing more than sheer curiosity. and maybe for a little closure, 18 years later.
i made this video compilation from the Biffy Clyro show as well featuring their two songs “Bubbles,” and most recent single “Many of Horror” (fuck you X factor). the venue was so small, and i was right up against the stage next to frontman Simon Neil….if this had been london, i never would have been able to get this close to them. they can sell out the Brixton Academy…possibly the O2 in London…
it’s fellow UK music fan and tweeting-fox Catherine!
i’m planning a trip to new york city to work on some edits on my novel, but mostly to do research, as some sections are set there. i’m thinking end of march/beginning of april. i love new york city, as the entire world does, there’s just a vibe there that is hard to find elsewhere (although in all fairness, toronto does come close). i’ve been there three times now and always enjoy myself, especially the last two times mostly because i visited a certain friend there who always provides the shits n giggles (wink wink)
so i thought i’d contact him to let him know, and i remembered he’s on twitter, but of course he hasn’t tweeted since christ was a cowboy. but he does follow a shitload of people which suggested to me that he goes online often.
so i start checking out some of the people he follows, which leads me to the twitter account of some kid photographer who went to egypt as a freelancer
and that kid photographer tweets that he has a sister who does something in fashion, so i’m checking out her fashion tweets.
and there are all these tweets on her twitter account which leave little doubt that she’s the GF of my new-york-shits-n-giggles boy.
luckily, i’m not really bothered (there’s no way to blog that and not make it sound doth-protest-too-much-y, but honestly, it doesn’t bother me). him and i were only ever one thing. he’s smokin’ hot as brimstone, and a dynamo you-know-where but we have absolutely nothing in common (except for one thing) and have never really had a proper conversation. so if he’s found someone that makes him happy, more power to him… to them both.
BUT.
going through the GF’s tweets led to some unfortunate revelations. without going into too much detail, there’s little doubt in my mind now that when i saw him last year, they were actually officially a couple. which means he made me “the other woman” without my consent. which is fucking bollocks.
i mean, c’mon dude, just TELL me you’re with someone! who cares! don’t make “the other woman” for fucks sake. i feel like i’ve been punk’d or something.
i mean, what’s wrong with being a stand-up bloke? just say “sorry chris, i’d love to hang, but i’m with someone, so it’s not kosher this time around.” that’s all he had to say, and i’d be like, “bummer. i understand. fanks for keeping me in the loop. some other time hombre!” but no, instead i find out on twitter he’s been all up in my grill while simultaneously all up in her grill which, by the steadfast laws of 6-degrees-of-kevin-bacon, means i’ve been indirectly girl-grillin’ without my knowledge.
mind fuck!
so i’m not gonna tell him that i’m going down to NYC this time around, i’ll really rather not see him anyway. this sucks because, even though we were awkward-city-population-2, i still thought of him fondly as a cool guy.
maybe i’m framing him in a poor light right now because i’m angry, so let’s try to remember all the things i liked about him (other than the obvious)….. he had this very quiet quality about him that, i guess in contrast to my mouthy-ness, was very appealing. still waters run deep syndrome or something.
but considering that him and i never really opened up to each other, i was never able to understand the core of his quietness or the nature of it. so really, being hurt by this revelation now, is neither here nor there.
whatever. i’m done with him.
NEXT!
i went to the public butter to see if i could find pair a decent pair of 2nd hand Chucks (which i’ve been jonesing for as of late). found a pair, tried them on, liked them. but they had paint stains all over them and the laces were ripped apart. $20? fuck that bro. so i go to the guy behind the cash.
“i have a question.”
hipster snob with a man-shionista attitude cashier-job says “yah?”
insert section where i describe problems with shoes
“well the shoes are fine,” he snaps
“they’re the only ones you have, and they’re kinda falling apart.”
“what do you want me to do?” snorty scoff
my thoughts, “your fucking job, dumb ass.”
my voice, “i don’t think they’re worth $20.”
“well i can’t negotiate prices with you, the shoes are fine.” rolls his eyes and says everything in a holier-than-thou tone
so i say “absolutely, but perhaps you can ask someone who can.”
“no they’re not here. so there’s nothing i can do for you,” said in a tone to try and make me feel cheap for asking.
“this is a second hand shop, is it not?”
his voice: “yes, but that doesn’t mean we can change prices.”
what i heard: “I am a huge douche with a small brain who works this shit job that i hate and i’m gonna take it out on you because i can and no one’s watching.”
so i just look at him. pause. then say
“WOW.”
then walked out, dumping the shoes behind me.
i mean seriously, dudes. don’t try and pull the “we’re not second hand we’re upmarket vintage we’re gonna charge you whatever we want for beat up shit” act and think no one’s gonna call you on it.
furthermore, if you guys talk to everyone who walks in there and asks a simple question like i did, then you’ve got fucking problems.
my recommendation: don’t shop at The Public Butter. store is staffed by dishonourable cunts whose customer service is a civilization in decline. i mean, fuck man, i’m a hipster (and yes, i know by saying that, it totally negates my hipsterdom) but you don’t see me pulling the snob-holier-than-thou-manshionista bullshit.
the place is a poison pickle. i’m over it.
NEXT!
i went to the opening night of The Middle Place (fanks for the comps Joanne!) at CanStage Berkeley. i already saw this play last fall when it was at Passe Muraille, but i really wanted to see it again because it was soooooooo gooooooooooooood. this is what great theatre is all about – dynamic, reflexive, commenting on issues that are immediately affecting the neighbourhood in which the play is staged, and gives voice to a marginalized community without being didactic or telling the audience how they should feel. and i love how the playwright andrew kushnir plays himself in the play! CLEVER-CLEVER LAND! also, the best actress i’ve seen on the toronto stage yet (and i see a lot of theatre) is akosua amo adem, who is probably the main reason i came back a second time anyway. she’s made of amazesauce. i watch her performance and i’m like “this is why i’m not an actress, cuz i sure as shit can’t do that!” anyway, the stage design is sparse, but it’s the use of space and lighting which really adds a neato layer to the drama and conflict. i love how the actors can just seamlessly switch between characters like MPD.
go see this play! all the theatre-fags in da hizzouse, put ya hands up!
i want you to know your quarry
i went to the press screening of Beastly last week, a new movie opening next month which is a modern take on the Beauty & The Beast tale. it was filmed in montreal, but it sucks. it has Neil Patrick Harris. but it still sucks. it has some cool make-up techniques and effects. but it still suuuuuuuucks.
you wanna know what’s even more fucked up? Mary Kate Olsen was actually the best thing about this flick.
alex pettyfer wasn’t bad per se, i just wasn’t paying attention to a single thing he said. he was on mute in my head for the entire running time. this is a guy that you will love to look at, but would probably want to duct- shut his mouth when you’re banging him……urgh, i just took a look at his age. so my “banging him” comment now comes across as sex-offender-awful.
meh.
watch the trailer here:
damn, women in the 40s knew their shizzle. why couldn’t they have passed this knowledge down to us, instead of making us learn about it from sex and the city?
my birthday is next week.
i accept all forms of gifts, regifts, degifts, monetary compensation, flowers, and sexual favours.
i’m now at an age where i can no longer admit to my age. when i met up with Garin, i joked that i was turning 20, and he believed me until i corrected him! so when i lie about my age from now on, everyone is sure to believe me.
check out my live concert review of Biffy Clyro‘s sold out show here in toronto last week. they were nominated for several Brit awards recently, and i think they were much deserved. great concert by a band relatively unknown here in north america but are MASSIVE back home in the UK. yeah, i said ‘back home.”
also check out my film review of Biutifulwhich i wrote last year when the film was screened at TIFF but was just released commercially last week. javier bardem has a best actor oscar nod for his performance and this film is up for best foreign language film (against canada’s Incendies...tough race)
i was contacted recently by this dude whom i blogged about last fall. the dude from my childhood growing up in the suburbs of montreal. he’s gonna be in toronto next week for a short few days and wants to catch up.
i haven’t seen the man since 1993 when i was a gawky pre-pubescent growing up on the wrong side of fortune. everything that happened back then, i put that to bed a long time ago and have dealt with it, but that was only made possible by him being so far out of my life without chance of re-entering. i’m kind of petrified of coming face to face with the catalyst for so much pain. he’s a different person now, and has been very supportive as of late. but saying hello to old ghosts wasn’t really on the agenda…
it’s not gonna stop me from seeing him, for nothing more than sheer curiosity. and maybe for a little closure, 18 years later.
i made this video compilation from the Biffy Clyro show as well featuring their two songs “Bubbles,” and most recent single “Many of Horror” (fuck you X factor). the venue was so small, and i was right up against the stage next to frontman Simon Neil….if this had been london, i never would have been able to get this close to them. they can sell out the Brixton Academy…possibly the O2 in London…
it’s fellow UK music fan and tweeting-fox Catherine!
i’m planning a trip to new york city to work on some edits on my novel, but mostly to do research, as some sections are set there. i’m thinking end of march/beginning of april. i love new york city, as the entire world does, there’s just a vibe there that is hard to find elsewhere (although in all fairness, toronto does come close). i’ve been there three times now and always enjoy myself, especially the last two times mostly because i visited a certain friend there who always provides the shits n giggles (wink wink)
so i thought i’d contact him to let him know, and i remembered he’s on twitter, but of course he hasn’t tweeted since christ was a cowboy. but he does follow a shitload of people which suggested to me that he goes online often.
so i start checking out some of the people he follows, which leads me to the twitter account of some kid photographer who went to egypt as a freelancer
and that kid photographer tweets that he has a sister who does something in fashion, so i’m checking out her fashion tweets.
and there are all these tweets on her twitter account which leave little doubt that she’s the GF of my new-york-shits-n-giggles boy.
luckily, i’m not really bothered (there’s no way to blog that and not make it sound doth-protest-too-much-y, but honestly, it doesn’t bother me). him and i were only ever one thing. he’s smokin’ hot as brimstone, and a dynamo you-know-where but we have absolutely nothing in common (except for one thing) and have never really had a proper conversation. so if he’s found someone that makes him happy, more power to him… to them both.
BUT.
going through the GF’s tweets led to some unfortunate revelations. without going into too much detail, there’s little doubt in my mind now that when i saw him last year, they were actually officially a couple. which means he made me “the other woman” without my consent. which is fucking bollocks.
i mean, c’mon dude, just TELL me you’re with someone! who cares! don’t make “the other woman” for fucks sake. i feel like i’ve been punk’d or something.
i mean, what’s wrong with being a stand-up bloke? just say “sorry chris, i’d love to hang, but i’m with someone, so it’s not kosher this time around.” that’s all he had to say, and i’d be like, “bummer. i understand. fanks for keeping me in the loop. some other time hombre!” but no, instead i find out on twitter he’s been all up in my grill while simultaneously all up in her grill which, by the steadfast laws of 6-degrees-of-kevin-bacon, means i’ve been indirectly girl-grillin’ without my knowledge.
mind fuck!
so i’m not gonna tell him that i’m going down to NYC this time around, i’ll really rather not see him anyway. this sucks because, even though we were awkward-city-population-2, i still thought of him fondly as a cool guy.
maybe i’m framing him in a poor light right now because i’m angry, so let’s try to remember all the things i liked about him (other than the obvious)….. he had this very quiet quality about him that, i guess in contrast to my mouthy-ness, was very appealing. still waters run deep syndrome or something.
but considering that him and i never really opened up to each other, i was never able to understand the core of his quietness or the nature of it. so really, being hurt by this revelation now, is neither here nor there.
whatever. i’m done with him.
NEXT!
i went to the public butter to see if i could find pair a decent pair of 2nd hand Chucks (which i’ve been jonesing for as of late). found a pair, tried them on, liked them. but they had paint stains all over them and the laces were ripped apart. $20? fuck that bro. so i go to the guy behind the cash.
“i have a question.”
hipster snob with a man-shionista attitude cashier-job says “yah?”
insert section where i describe problems with shoes
“well the shoes are fine,” he snaps
“they’re the only ones you have, and they’re kinda falling apart.”
“what do you want me to do?” snorty scoff
my thoughts, “your fucking job, dumb ass.”
my voice, “i don’t think they’re worth $20.”
“well i can’t negotiate prices with you, the shoes are fine.” rolls his eyes and says everything in a holier-than-thou tone
so i say “absolutely, but perhaps you can ask someone who can.”
“no they’re not here. so there’s nothing i can do for you,” said in a tone to try and make me feel cheap for asking.
“this is a second hand shop, is it not?”
his voice: “yes, but that doesn’t mean we can change prices.”
what i heard: “I am a huge douche with a small brain who works this shit job that i hate and i’m gonna take it out on you because i can and no one’s watching.”
so i just look at him. pause. then say
“WOW.”
then walked out, dumping the shoes behind me.
i mean seriously, dudes. don’t try and pull the “we’re not second hand we’re upmarket vintage we’re gonna charge you whatever we want for beat up shit” act and think no one’s gonna call you on it.
furthermore, if you guys talk to everyone who walks in there and asks a simple question like i did, then you’ve got fucking problems.
my recommendation: don’t shop at The Public Butter. store is staffed by dishonourable cunts whose customer service is a civilization in decline. i mean, fuck man, i’m a hipster (and yes, i know by saying that, it totally negates my hipsterdom) but you don’t see me pulling the snob-holier-than-thou-manshionista bullshit.
the place is a poison pickle. i’m over it.
NEXT!
i went to the opening night of The Middle Place (fanks for the comps Joanne!) at CanStage Berkeley. i already saw this play last fall when it was at Passe Muraille, but i really wanted to see it again because it was soooooooo gooooooooooooood. this is what great theatre is all about – dynamic, reflexive, commenting on issues that are immediately affecting the neighbourhood in which the play is staged, and gives voice to a marginalized community without being didactic or telling the audience how they should feel. and i love how the playwright andrew kushnir plays himself in the play! CLEVER-CLEVER LAND! also, the best actress i’ve seen on the toronto stage yet (and i see a lot of theatre) is akosua amo adem, who is probably the main reason i came back a second time anyway. she’s made of amazesauce. i watch her performance and i’m like “this is why i’m not an actress, cuz i sure as shit can’t do that!” anyway, the stage design is sparse, but it’s the use of space and lighting which really adds a neato layer to the drama and conflict. i love how the actors can just seamlessly switch between characters like MPD.
go see this play! all the theatre-fags in da hizzouse, put ya hands up!
i want you to know your quarry
i went to the press screening of Beastly last week, a new movie opening next month which is a modern take on the Beauty & The Beast tale. it was filmed in montreal, but it sucks. it has Neil Patrick Harris. but it still sucks. it has some cool make-up techniques and effects. but it still suuuuuuuucks.
you wanna know what’s even more fucked up? Mary Kate Olsen was actually the best thing about this flick.
alex pettyfer wasn’t bad per se, i just wasn’t paying attention to a single thing he said. he was on mute in my head for the entire running time. this is a guy that you will love to look at, but would probably want to duct- shut his mouth when you’re banging him……urgh, i just took a look at his age. so my “banging him” comment now comes across as sex-offender-awful.
meh.
watch the trailer here:
damn, women in the 40s knew their shizzle. why couldn’t they have passed this knowledge down to us, instead of making us learn about it from sex and the city?
my birthday is next week.
i accept all forms of gifts, regifts, degifts, monetary compensation, flowers, and sexual favours.
i’m now at an age where i can no longer admit to my age. when i met up with Garin, i joked that i was turning 20, and he believed me until i corrected him! so when i lie about my age from now on, everyone is sure to believe me.
this particular short story of mine was submitted to several literary journals and magazines last year and rejected across the board, but i KNEW it was a fucking good story, so i was like “fuck ya’ll, i’ll enter it in a contest,” and lo-and-behold, out of 525 entries, and a long-list of 114, i make the short-list of only 12 other writers….and i’m the only finalist from Toronto.
YA SEE?
i talk to so many writers and failed novelists who gave up their dreams after receiving a stack of rejection letters higher than the day is long. i receive rejection letters (sometimes personalized, but mostly form-letters, and often cheap emails) all the time but i mostly disregard those letters with a scoff because i KNOW my writing is made of awesomesauce. i know i’m talented and just because my story didn’t make it past some intern at a magazine screening stories for keywords or themes, doesn’t negate the amazerbeams emanating from my chutzpambition.
(disclaimer: i don’t use these faux-words in my short stories. but i should)
ANYWAY (hello tangent), reading this competition’s press release also reminds me that my story was read and chosen by LITERARY POWERHOUSES sharon pollock, tarek fatah, and K.V. Johansen.
brainjaculation.
although i haven’t won the competition, the Writers Union of Canada will be submitting the story on my behalf to some literary journals and magazines for publication. Fingers crossed, with the WUC seal of approval next to it, it’ll get published.
god gawwwwwd, chrissy needs to eat.
my last short story publication was 2009, so i could really use another creative writing credit to my name (this would be my fifth short story published).
anyway, if you’d like to congratulate me, form an orderly queue, ‘natch.
i’m also extra happy this week because A) Reg gave me a tear-jerking shout-out on her tumblr B) i’m house-sitting AGAIN in parkdale which makes me wanna lick the homeless (in a good way) C) Boy-surfin with Raymi at Sofi’s Valentine’s Day singles mixer was mega-giggles, and D) I totally made out with someone at that mixer that I don’t even think I like (in fact, i kind loathe him). I’ll hafta fend him off and ignore his texts now…but ugly kissing is always hot.
oh sheldon, my husband, how you strike a pose just so.
photo by casie stewart
Highway 63 is a play currently running at Theatre Passe Muraille. I saw it last night with Amanda. I may be biased because the show’s creator Layne is one of my best friends ever, but i LOVE-LOVE-LOVED IT! it’s funny! it’s cleverly staged! it’s fast-paced and witty and poignant and heart-warming and unabashedly-Canadian….and i loved that dude who plays Chad, he has a talent brimming with so much staggering genius, when he’s doing something huge like driving a forklift, or something little like miming a TV remote control, you’re captivated. i have a theatre-crush on him. this happens quite often. i see a guy on stage in a play whom i don’t even know and fancy his character. so i project that onto him and then get all googly-eyed. it won’t last, surely (altho my theatre crushes on geoffrey tyler and ryan hollyman haven’t dissipated yet….dammit. any day now).
that being said, SEE THIS PLAY.
i went to the press screening of Four Lions this morn, which has been out on DVD in the UK for a year but is only opening in Canada now. we’re behind on so many things. the humour in this black-comedy is so refreshingly different from north american comedy, you can’t help but love it while it subtly presents its message as well. of course, because i lived in the UK for years, i got many of the references, allusions, and inside-gags. i think Canadian audiences may or may not balk at this if they don’t get it. that being said, i think it’s deffo worth a whirl! watch the trailer here:
i scored a reviewer pass to tonight’s Biffy Clyro concert. last month it was White Lies, now this.
UK music trumps your tastes.
this quote is kinda apropos for the work i’m doing on my novel-edits. not just in its message, but also in the fact that it’s an Andy Warhol quote…..my novel’s protagonist is a visual artist. book-readers will either love that, or they just won’t “get” it.
writing a novel is like trying to walk up a long staircase on your knees.
this particular short story of mine was submitted to several literary journals and magazines last year and rejected across the board, but i KNEW it was a fucking good story, so i was like “fuck ya’ll, i’ll enter it in a contest,” and lo-and-behold, out of 525 entries, and a long-list of 114, i make the short-list of only 12 other writers….and i’m the only finalist from Toronto.
YA SEE?
i talk to so many writers and failed novelists who gave up their dreams after receiving a stack of rejection letters higher than the day is long. i receive rejection letters (sometimes personalized, but mostly form-letters, and often cheap emails) all the time but i mostly disregard those letters with a scoff because i KNOW my writing is made of awesomesauce. i know i’m talented and just because my story didn’t make it past some intern at a magazine screening stories for keywords or themes, doesn’t negate the amazerbeams emanating from my chutzpambition.
(disclaimer: i don’t use these faux-words in my short stories. but i should)
ANYWAY (hello tangent), reading this competition’s press release also reminds me that my story was read and chosen by LITERARY POWERHOUSES sharon pollock, tarek fatah, and K.V. Johansen.
brainjaculation.
although i haven’t won the competition, the Writers Union of Canada will be submitting the story on my behalf to some literary journals and magazines for publication. Fingers crossed, with the WUC seal of approval next to it, it’ll get published.
god gawwwwwd, chrissy needs to eat.
my last short story publication was 2009, so i could really use another creative writing credit to my name (this would be my fifth short story published).
anyway, if you’d like to congratulate me, form an orderly queue, ‘natch.
i’m also extra happy this week because A) Reg gave me a tear-jerking shout-out on her tumblr B) i’m house-sitting AGAIN in parkdale which makes me wanna lick the homeless (in a good way) C) Boy-surfin with Raymi at Sofi’s Valentine’s Day singles mixer was mega-giggles, and D) I totally made out with someone at that mixer that I don’t even think I like (in fact, i kind loathe him). I’ll hafta fend him off and ignore his texts now…but ugly kissing is always hot.
oh sheldon, my husband, how you strike a pose just so.
photo by casie stewart
Highway 63 is a play currently running at Theatre Passe Muraille. I saw it last night with Amanda. I may be biased because the show’s creator Layne is one of my best friends ever, but i LOVE-LOVE-LOVED IT! it’s funny! it’s cleverly staged! it’s fast-paced and witty and poignant and heart-warming and unabashedly-Canadian….and i loved that dude who plays Chad, he has a talent brimming with so much staggering genius, when he’s doing something huge like driving a forklift, or something little like miming a TV remote control, you’re captivated. i have a theatre-crush on him. this happens quite often. i see a guy on stage in a play whom i don’t even know and fancy his character. so i project that onto him and then get all googly-eyed. it won’t last, surely (altho my theatre crushes on geoffrey tyler and ryan hollyman haven’t dissipated yet….dammit. any day now).
that being said, SEE THIS PLAY.
i went to the press screening of Four Lions this morn, which has been out on DVD in the UK for a year but is only opening in Canada now. we’re behind on so many things. the humour in this black-comedy is so refreshingly different from north american comedy, you can’t help but love it while it subtly presents its message as well. of course, because i lived in the UK for years, i got many of the references, allusions, and inside-gags. i think Canadian audiences may or may not balk at this if they don’t get it. that being said, i think it’s deffo worth a whirl! watch the trailer here:
i scored a reviewer pass to tonight’s Biffy Clyro concert. last month it was White Lies, now this.
UK music trumps your tastes.
this quote is kinda apropos for the work i’m doing on my novel-edits. not just in its message, but also in the fact that it’s an Andy Warhol quote…..my novel’s protagonist is a visual artist. book-readers will either love that, or they just won’t “get” it.
writing a novel is like trying to walk up a long staircase on your knees.
and here i was thinking i was just room-temperature…
“Dear Christine, You are amazeballs! I found your blog through a BOY who shall remain nameless for now in order to protect his identity. Obviously things didn’t go so well with him, but I stumbled across the awesomeness that is you…..
…..Just keep being fabulous. We need more women like you in the universe….”
fanks pumpkin. i get a lot of emails and messages from you guys, but it’s always great to hear from another gal just trying to make it in a man’s world. sistahs gotta stick together. CHICKS BEFORE DICKS.
ryan’s got da magic fingers midas touch. we reminisced about our lives back in England and scoffed at over-hyped american football superbowl bollocks.
”after” shot in bad lighting
tousled bed-head look take 2
ewww, arab-look! show some teeth, estima, jebus.
anyway, you guys should get your hair-did at Evoke, they do good work, they treat ya well, and their stylists are debonnaire flirts.
i’ve been to so many press screenings lately, and even more to come. i saw The Eagle starring Channing Tatum and Jamie Bell. first off, anything starring jamie bell is aces in my books (billy elliot grew up to be Lord Sexworthy McSmashington), but it also takes place at Hadrian’s Wall, which as many of you know, i hiked across back in 2008 (it took me 4 days, read my account with amazerbeam photos here!).
the film itself is a dramatic buddy-flick with a total absence of women which, oddly, as a feminist, i enjoyed. why? because usually in historical epics as such this, there is only one woman in it and she’s used as a tacky clichéd device to show the male protagonists virility, rather than have her be her own woman. better to not sully a good historical side-kick story with a phoned-in romantic subplot.
watch the trailer here:
i also, unfortunately, attended Just Go With It. speaking of being a feminist, this film is OFFENSIVE TO ALL WOMEN, besides this being the most un-funny comedy of the year. here, the women are seen as either pure objects and trophy prizes to be won who are so stupidly naive that they’re the subject of ridicule, OR they’re pawns in a man’s manipulative game of emotional chess. the women are not given lives/concerns/thoughts beyond the importance of the men they know, and when the female characters talk to each other…you guessed it….they’re talking about men. SO FUCKING STUPID. the only good bit was Nicole Kidman, who i’m assuming is taking cues from her ex husband by doing comedies to increase her star appeal beyond Oscar snobs.
i’ve been invited to a super exclusive screening for new Canadian film A Wake tonight. it stars people i know, which is always a bit of a mind-fuck, but i love supporting the toronto theatre community in all their filmic endeavours. i won’t tell you how i feel about the film because i’m reviewing it for the magazine, so just watch the trailer here:
speaking of theatre, i’ve been invited to see the play St Carmen of the Main, a michel tremblay translation, at CanStage (fanks Ashley!) over the weekend, and next week i’m seeing the play Highway 63, co-created by my bestest friend ever Layne Coleman! it’s running at my old haunt Theatre Passe Muraille (fanks Amanda!), love returning to my hoooooooooood.
as if i haven’t pestered you enough already on this blogtopia – get thee to a playhouse! go see theatre! it’ll change your life! your regional theatres are producing exciting, cathartic, reflexive, and dynamic works about YOU! it’s like seeing your autobiography on stage without writing it! win-win situation.
and speaking of theatre people in film (again), a couple years ago i saw the play Scorched at Tarragon Theatre, written by fellow lebanese-quebecois wajdi mouawad, and last year it was made into a movie called Incendies which premiered last year at TIFF. since i was covering so much during TIFF, i didn’t get to see it, but i’ve just been given run-of-engagement passes to see it any time i like!
jealous?
youu’rrrrrrrrrrre jeaaaaaaaalous
it’s been nominated for an Oscar, ya know, which is gonna be a tough race ‘cuz Biutiful is also up for the same foreign-language Oscar. both are staggering examples of heart-breaking genius….so i’m kinda torn! go canada? or go inarritu?
watch the Incendies trailer here:
i received a phone call today . . . something exciting is soon to be announced in terms of my writing career . . . it’s not life-altering-lottery-winning-high-rollers-club, but it is definitely an honour, and dove-tails off of previous achievements i’ve made. i’m really excited about it and humbled as well. it seems things are slowly falling into place. i’m not allowed to say anything about it right now until the press release goes out next week . . . but when i’m allowed to say something, you’ll be the first to know.
trust me, it’s goooooooooooooood.
i’m being an asshat with all the bragging.
lashing of apologies all around. (not really)
a pitched an article to a quebec newspaper the other night.
the next day, the editor got back to me with: Hi Christine, Thanks for your pitch. I will pass on this particular one, but am always open to ones that have a more local (i.e. Montreal) focus. I enjoyed your writing samples, BTW.
so i replied: thanks for getting back to me so quickly, and thanks for the compliment! Will keep the Montreal-focus in mind:)
and then surprisingly, he wrote back (they usually never respond after a rejection): Is 18 hours really “quickly” these days? God, people are right: editors ARE assholes …
so i raised and eyebrow and wrote back: I feel like this is a trick question. So I will just smile with a bit of teeth.
and he goes: Passed!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. dude. friend me. you eat awesomesauce for breakfast.
what if all the clocks are wrong (especially the handsome art-deco ones)?
peek-a-boo
that’s Figgy the fish, but whilst he was under my care, i re-named him Sid Fishous. i think he appreciated the bad-ass-ness more…and dude really liked to play with my emotions. i’d wake up in the morning and he’d be floating at the waters surface, freaking me ouuuttttttt. so i’d wiggle that little water-tree in there, and he’d finally move his fat ass.
JERKFACE
oh sid fishous, i can’t stay made at you.
gimme some gill.
yes, my FB is set to french. as is my Twitter, my phone, my emails….everything. how else is a sistah gonna practice?
GIF’in’r
givin’r
that’s it for today, i’m on a deadline with several of my freelance writing gigs, editors are getting strict . . .
and here i was thinking i was just room-temperature…
“Dear Christine, You are amazeballs! I found your blog through a BOY who shall remain nameless for now in order to protect his identity. Obviously things didn’t go so well with him, but I stumbled across the awesomeness that is you…..
…..Just keep being fabulous. We need more women like you in the universe….”
fanks pumpkin. i get a lot of emails and messages from you guys, but it’s always great to hear from another gal just trying to make it in a man’s world. sistahs gotta stick together. CHICKS BEFORE DICKS.
ryan’s got da magic fingers midas touch. we reminisced about our lives back in England and scoffed at over-hyped american football superbowl bollocks.
”after” shot in bad lighting
tousled bed-head look take 2
ewww, arab-look! show some teeth, estima, jebus.
anyway, you guys should get your hair-did at Evoke, they do good work, they treat ya well, and their stylists are debonnaire flirts.
i’ve been to so many press screenings lately, and even more to come. i saw The Eagle starring Channing Tatum and Jamie Bell. first off, anything starring jamie bell is aces in my books (billy elliot grew up to be Lord Sexworthy McSmashington), but it also takes place at Hadrian’s Wall, which as many of you know, i hiked across back in 2008 (it took me 4 days, read my account with amazerbeam photos here!).
the film itself is a dramatic buddy-flick with a total absence of women which, oddly, as a feminist, i enjoyed. why? because usually in historical epics as such this, there is only one woman in it and she’s used as a tacky clichéd device to show the male protagonists virility, rather than have her be her own woman. better to not sully a good historical side-kick story with a phoned-in romantic subplot.
watch the trailer here:
i also, unfortunately, attended Just Go With It. speaking of being a feminist, this film is OFFENSIVE TO ALL WOMEN, besides this being the most un-funny comedy of the year. here, the women are seen as either pure objects and trophy prizes to be won who are so stupidly naive that they’re the subject of ridicule, OR they’re pawns in a man’s manipulative game of emotional chess. the women are not given lives/concerns/thoughts beyond the importance of the men they know, and when the female characters talk to each other…you guessed it….they’re talking about men. SO FUCKING STUPID. the only good bit was Nicole Kidman, who i’m assuming is taking cues from her ex husband by doing comedies to increase her star appeal beyond Oscar snobs.
i’ve been invited to a super exclusive screening for new Canadian film A Wake tonight. it stars people i know, which is always a bit of a mind-fuck, but i love supporting the toronto theatre community in all their filmic endeavours. i won’t tell you how i feel about the film because i’m reviewing it for the magazine, so just watch the trailer here:
speaking of theatre, i’ve been invited to see the play St Carmen of the Main, a michel tremblay translation, at CanStage (fanks Ashley!) over the weekend, and next week i’m seeing the play Highway 63, co-created by my bestest friend ever Layne Coleman! it’s running at my old haunt Theatre Passe Muraille (fanks Amanda!), love returning to my hoooooooooood.
as if i haven’t pestered you enough already on this blogtopia – get thee to a playhouse! go see theatre! it’ll change your life! your regional theatres are producing exciting, cathartic, reflexive, and dynamic works about YOU! it’s like seeing your autobiography on stage without writing it! win-win situation.
and speaking of theatre people in film (again), a couple years ago i saw the play Scorched at Tarragon Theatre, written by fellow lebanese-quebecois wajdi mouawad, and last year it was made into a movie called Incendies which premiered last year at TIFF. since i was covering so much during TIFF, i didn’t get to see it, but i’ve just been given run-of-engagement passes to see it any time i like!
jealous?
youu’rrrrrrrrrrre jeaaaaaaaalous
it’s been nominated for an Oscar, ya know, which is gonna be a tough race ‘cuz Biutiful is also up for the same foreign-language Oscar. both are staggering examples of heart-breaking genius….so i’m kinda torn! go canada? or go inarritu?
watch the Incendies trailer here:
i received a phone call today . . . something exciting is soon to be announced in terms of my writing career . . . it’s not life-altering-lottery-winning-high-rollers-club, but it is definitely an honour, and dove-tails off of previous achievements i’ve made. i’m really excited about it and humbled as well. it seems things are slowly falling into place. i’m not allowed to say anything about it right now until the press release goes out next week . . . but when i’m allowed to say something, you’ll be the first to know.
trust me, it’s goooooooooooooood.
i’m being an asshat with all the bragging.
lashing of apologies all around. (not really)
a pitched an article to a quebec newspaper the other night.
the next day, the editor got back to me with: Hi Christine, Thanks for your pitch. I will pass on this particular one, but am always open to ones that have a more local (i.e. Montreal) focus. I enjoyed your writing samples, BTW.
so i replied: thanks for getting back to me so quickly, and thanks for the compliment! Will keep the Montreal-focus in mind:)
and then surprisingly, he wrote back (they usually never respond after a rejection): Is 18 hours really “quickly” these days? God, people are right: editors ARE assholes …
so i raised and eyebrow and wrote back: I feel like this is a trick question. So I will just smile with a bit of teeth.
and he goes: Passed!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. dude. friend me. you eat awesomesauce for breakfast.
what if all the clocks are wrong (especially the handsome art-deco ones)?
peek-a-boo
that’s Figgy the fish, but whilst he was under my care, i re-named him Sid Fishous. i think he appreciated the bad-ass-ness more…and dude really liked to play with my emotions. i’d wake up in the morning and he’d be floating at the waters surface, freaking me ouuuttttttt. so i’d wiggle that little water-tree in there, and he’d finally move his fat ass.
JERKFACE
oh sid fishous, i can’t stay made at you.
gimme some gill.
yes, my FB is set to french. as is my Twitter, my phone, my emails….everything. how else is a sistah gonna practice?
GIF’in’r
givin’r
that’s it for today, i’m on a deadline with several of my freelance writing gigs, editors are getting strict . . .
WASTOIDS! read my dvd review of gaspar noé’s latest feature Enter The Void. it’s not like irreversible, so you can watch it without being traumatized. but don’t watch it if you wake n bake.
* * *
if you’ve been reading this blog for as long as i suspect you have (just admit it), you know i’m a huge fan of theatre and try to see as much of it as i can. and you should too. theatre tells stories in ways that film can’t. and theatre in toronto is a special thing – we’re a massive city but somehow, the theatre community has been able to build a sort-of family dynamic where everyone knows everyone and yet it’s very inclusive. new members welcome all the time. i love how when i go see a play, it’s more like i’m rooting for my friends than anything else. so when i was offered some tickets (fanks Erika!) to go see the play Assassins, which is running at the Theatre Centre until the 13th, i was like UM YES PLEASE. half the people in the cast/crew are acquaintances of mine and i love seeing them in action!
this probably one of the most ingenious musicals i have ever seen. presidential assassins throughout history are gathered together where they are trapped within their own realms and stories but interacting and influencing each other to reveal their motives and e-motives. and the world they build for the audience is an expansive one that captivates you from beginning to end. the songs are quirky yet powerful as are the performances, which are brash without being offensive. not a moment of the audience’s time is wasted here. each sequence of this highly-stylized piece reveals something about each assassin, without being didactic. it’s hella-funny and at the same time really creepy. serves as a reminder that assassins have a profound effect on our history, and their infamous names, for some sick reason, will be remembered forever. whereas mere “murderers” will fade away.
America’s love affair with the gun is explored here as well, which was perversely pleasurable.
i also liked it cuz almost everyone in the cast gave me a hard-on (true story). hotties abound!
my reputation precedes me, muthafuckas.
get your tickets for Assassinshere before they sell-out (and they will, the night i went was PAAAACKED). you will LOVE it.
* * *
i was also invited this week to the JUNO’s press conference where the nominations for this year’s awards were announced.
jian and i used to get along quite well, he’d invite me over for his christmas parties and stuff…. and i see him at so many events (in fact, i see him at EVERY event), and he now pretends he doesn’t see me.
i like this photo cuz i’m a rockin’ photog.
broken social scene, keisha chanté, johnny reid, and other presenters take a bow. announcing nom’s is tough work eh.
fastforward to time index 0:46 of this video where joshua jackson explains how shiteous canadian award ceremonies are. it’s actually quite astute.
* * *
this (bike)rack of love is outside of Courage My Love in kensington market. i snapped this photo with my blackberry (not bad).
gregory, my love, you are so right. ya i’ve lost more love than i’ve managed to maintain, but, shit boys, do you think you’re irresistible? you think i’ll never get over you? fuck that, i’m already over you! longtime!
in fact, yesterday, i was walking down the street (i’m house-sitting downtown until the 10th! message me if you wanna hang. for realsies), listening to some rocking tunes, and i had this really empowering thought.
almost all of my girlfriends, myself included, define ourselves by the men in our lives. when we meet for coffee and talk about ‘wassup’ it’s ALWAYS about dates and boys and flirting and breaking up and blah blah fucking blah. i’m so sick of it. we never talk about our thoughts on certain issues, about new things we’re trying and working on, about anything at all, other than superficial Cosmo-Teen-Wankfest topics. and i’m guilty of it too.
and it’s fucking sickening.
that’s it. search for love is officially off.
sorry fellas, i’m off the market.
AND BY CHOICE! huzzah!
i don’t want a boyfriend.
i’m not gonna define my life by my interactions with the uglier sex (ya i said it). it’s so boring, so cliché, and i have so many more awesome things going on in my life right now that i know i’ll be awesome with or without someone loving me.
men aren’t essential to women anymore. they used to be when women weren’t allowed to vote, own property, or work. we needed men and marriage then to live a life beyond poverty. but now we don’t need men to take care of us. and men deeply crave that on a baser level. they want to feel essential to women and they know they’re not. it’s emasculating, but what can they do about it now?
i don’t need a man to look after me, but i probably do need one to love me and that i can love back.
but i’m not really all that bothered.
unlike jerry maguire, no one else is needed to “complete” me. i complete me.
I FEEL SO LIBERATED!
i’m gonna wear my boots-made-for-walking and not give a shit if someone finds me attractive physically or not. you don’t wanna date me? no love loss, because i’m a super person. i’m nice and sweet and cute and caring and talented and intelligent, and not having a boyfriend doesn’t change ANY of that!
WASTOIDS! read my dvd review of gaspar noé’s latest feature Enter The Void. it’s not like irreversible, so you can watch it without being traumatized. but don’t watch it if you wake n bake.
* * *
if you’ve been reading this blog for as long as i suspect you have (just admit it), you know i’m a huge fan of theatre and try to see as much of it as i can. and you should too. theatre tells stories in ways that film can’t. and theatre in toronto is a special thing – we’re a massive city but somehow, the theatre community has been able to build a sort-of family dynamic where everyone knows everyone and yet it’s very inclusive. new members welcome all the time. i love how when i go see a play, it’s more like i’m rooting for my friends than anything else. so when i was offered some tickets (fanks Erika!) to go see the play Assassins, which is running at the Theatre Centre until the 13th, i was like UM YES PLEASE. half the people in the cast/crew are acquaintances of mine and i love seeing them in action!
this probably one of the most ingenious musicals i have ever seen. presidential assassins throughout history are gathered together where they are trapped within their own realms and stories but interacting and influencing each other to reveal their motives and e-motives. and the world they build for the audience is an expansive one that captivates you from beginning to end. the songs are quirky yet powerful as are the performances, which are brash without being offensive. not a moment of the audience’s time is wasted here. each sequence of this highly-stylized piece reveals something about each assassin, without being didactic. it’s hella-funny and at the same time really creepy. serves as a reminder that assassins have a profound effect on our history, and their infamous names, for some sick reason, will be remembered forever. whereas mere “murderers” will fade away.
America’s love affair with the gun is explored here as well, which was perversely pleasurable.
i also liked it cuz almost everyone in the cast gave me a hard-on (true story). hotties abound!
my reputation precedes me, muthafuckas.
get your tickets for Assassinshere before they sell-out (and they will, the night i went was PAAAACKED). you will LOVE it.
* * *
i was also invited this week to the JUNO’s press conference where the nominations for this year’s awards were announced.
jian and i used to get along quite well, he’d invite me over for his christmas parties and stuff…. and i see him at so many events (in fact, i see him at EVERY event), and he now pretends he doesn’t see me.
i like this photo cuz i’m a rockin’ photog.
broken social scene, keisha chanté, johnny reid, and other presenters take a bow. announcing nom’s is tough work eh.
fastforward to time index 0:46 of this video where joshua jackson explains how shiteous canadian award ceremonies are. it’s actually quite astute.
* * *
this (bike)rack of love is outside of Courage My Love in kensington market. i snapped this photo with my blackberry (not bad).
gregory, my love, you are so right. ya i’ve lost more love than i’ve managed to maintain, but, shit boys, do you think you’re irresistible? you think i’ll never get over you? fuck that, i’m already over you! longtime!
in fact, yesterday, i was walking down the street (i’m house-sitting downtown until the 10th! message me if you wanna hang. for realsies), listening to some rocking tunes, and i had this really empowering thought.
almost all of my girlfriends, myself included, define ourselves by the men in our lives. when we meet for coffee and talk about ‘wassup’ it’s ALWAYS about dates and boys and flirting and breaking up and blah blah fucking blah. i’m so sick of it. we never talk about our thoughts on certain issues, about new things we’re trying and working on, about anything at all, other than superficial Cosmo-Teen-Wankfest topics. and i’m guilty of it too.
and it’s fucking sickening.
that’s it. search for love is officially off.
sorry fellas, i’m off the market.
AND BY CHOICE! huzzah!
i don’t want a boyfriend.
i’m not gonna define my life by my interactions with the uglier sex (ya i said it). it’s so boring, so cliché, and i have so many more awesome things going on in my life right now that i know i’ll be awesome with or without someone loving me.
men aren’t essential to women anymore. they used to be when women weren’t allowed to vote, own property, or work. we needed men and marriage then to live a life beyond poverty. but now we don’t need men to take care of us. and men deeply crave that on a baser level. they want to feel essential to women and they know they’re not. it’s emasculating, but what can they do about it now?
i don’t need a man to look after me, but i probably do need one to love me and that i can love back.
but i’m not really all that bothered.
unlike jerry maguire, no one else is needed to “complete” me. i complete me.
I FEEL SO LIBERATED!
i’m gonna wear my boots-made-for-walking and not give a shit if someone finds me attractive physically or not. you don’t wanna date me? no love loss, because i’m a super person. i’m nice and sweet and cute and caring and talented and intelligent, and not having a boyfriend doesn’t change ANY of that!
this past week, my panel discussion at York U was held, and it was a massive success. i thought maybe 10 people would show up, but between 80-100 students and alumni packed the house, all interested in picking my brain about the Writing & Publishing bidnizz. i was delighted to answer everyone’s questions, and delighted that, even with book sales in decline, people still want to carry the writing torch forward!
this was my name plate. Oh happyjaculations!
it was a bit of a mind-fuck returning to York after so many years have passed since I graduated. the campus has changed! what used to be farm land and fields are now bustling buildings and lecture halls. incredible.
and just the fact that my alma mater invited me to return to speak about my career as a writer was an incredibly flattering and humbling experience.
there were 5 of us in total on the panel, and we spoke very briefly about ourselves before opening it up to the floor to ask us questions…so for two lightning-fast hours, we answered questions about how what to expect when you become a writer (key phrases that were repeated several times were “you gotta hustle!” and “apply for grants!”)
after the panel discussion was over, there was literally a line-up of people wanting to talk to me, to ask specific questions, or even those who just wanted to come up and say hi. it was such a lovely environment.
i’m so glad i was able to participate in such an event, and would gladly do more in the future! shout out to Sara for hooking a sistah up!
* * *
the Next Stage Theatre Fest had it’s opening night this past week with delicious food provided by Smoke’s Poutinerie, Shanghai Cowgirl, Mariachis, Merci Mon Ami & Butler’s Pantry.
i was lucky enough to snag a few tickets to some of the shows (and let me tell you, tickets are selling out FAST so get tickets now) and hung out in the McAuslan Beer Tent set up in the Factory Theatre garden to hang out with some of the coolest theatre practitioners and enthusiasts in the country. seriously, even though i don’t drink, beer tents=TONS OF WIN.
the great thing about the festivals like Next Stage is that it affords the theatre community (local and international) an opportunity to support its hard-working artists. of course you have some infamous names in the industry mounting shows (judith thompson) but you also have fresh faces and emerging artists making their debuts (the entire cast of Sick), so you get a great blend of ideas, styles, and stories.
and, of course, tickets are redonkulously inexpensive for the quality theatre you are presented with! forget the mirvishes (seriously, i rarely patron the mirvishes, toooooo expensive!), go see some regional theatre by the blokes who live on the same street as you and drink at the cameron house. all your mates are waiting for you at the beer tent!
ps see Duel of Ages. seriously.
the fest is on until the 16th, so you still have lots of time!
* * *
so i’ve been going through a tough time lately, and i was a bit vocal about it in the public arena, which i felt silly about afterwards . . . that is, until a whole bunch of you messaged me to show your support. i guess broadcasting my life online isn’t so bad when you get support from your followers and mates who love you. one such message i received (who, of course, will remain anonymous to protect their privacy) made me flat out bawl (in a happy way):
” i hope you know that i’ve always enjoyed seeing you and talking to you, and that has been from years and years ago, long before twitter and blogging, back to tarragon spring arts fair and york and fringe vignettes in the dark and that victoria goring show in the club and you working at passe muraille and being (when i was first getting to know who you were) this young vibrant smart beautiful theatre artist who i knew would really make a mark for herself someday. and who has.”
this person was in the aforementioned beer tent the other night, so when i saw them, i pushed my way through the crowd and beeeeeeearrrrrrrrrrrrrr-hugggggggggged them.
this is literally the nicest message i’ve ever received. so thoughtful and caring. i didn’t even realize this person KNEW of all that stuff i’ve done. half of my best friends don’t even remember some of this stuff. so thank you, my friend, for giving a shit.
it’s been a really sad holiday season for me. lots of tears in realizing i’m disposable to a lot of people i deeply cared about. but, like the MAN said…
jason, affan, and i, talking on TwitCam…..face-palming the shit outta you.
that’s me at the end of sean & nus’s vlog….we were chatting on skype. i agree, i am “too hot to not.”
this past week, my panel discussion at York U was held, and it was a massive success. i thought maybe 10 people would show up, but between 80-100 students and alumni packed the house, all interested in picking my brain about the Writing & Publishing bidnizz. i was delighted to answer everyone’s questions, and delighted that, even with book sales in decline, people still want to carry the writing torch forward!
this was my name plate. Oh happyjaculations!
it was a bit of a mind-fuck returning to York after so many years have passed since I graduated. the campus has changed! what used to be farm land and fields are now bustling buildings and lecture halls. incredible.
and just the fact that my alma mater invited me to return to speak about my career as a writer was an incredibly flattering and humbling experience.
there were 5 of us in total on the panel, and we spoke very briefly about ourselves before opening it up to the floor to ask us questions…so for two lightning-fast hours, we answered questions about how what to expect when you become a writer (key phrases that were repeated several times were “you gotta hustle!” and “apply for grants!”)
after the panel discussion was over, there was literally a line-up of people wanting to talk to me, to ask specific questions, or even those who just wanted to come up and say hi. it was such a lovely environment.
i’m so glad i was able to participate in such an event, and would gladly do more in the future! shout out to Sara for hooking a sistah up!
* * *
the Next Stage Theatre Fest had it’s opening night this past week with delicious food provided by Smoke’s Poutinerie, Shanghai Cowgirl, Mariachis, Merci Mon Ami & Butler’s Pantry.
i was lucky enough to snag a few tickets to some of the shows (and let me tell you, tickets are selling out FAST so get tickets now) and hung out in the McAuslan Beer Tent set up in the Factory Theatre garden to hang out with some of the coolest theatre practitioners and enthusiasts in the country. seriously, even though i don’t drink, beer tents=TONS OF WIN.
the great thing about the festivals like Next Stage is that it affords the theatre community (local and international) an opportunity to support its hard-working artists. of course you have some infamous names in the industry mounting shows (judith thompson) but you also have fresh faces and emerging artists making their debuts (the entire cast of Sick), so you get a great blend of ideas, styles, and stories.
and, of course, tickets are redonkulously inexpensive for the quality theatre you are presented with! forget the mirvishes (seriously, i rarely patron the mirvishes, toooooo expensive!), go see some regional theatre by the blokes who live on the same street as you and drink at the cameron house. all your mates are waiting for you at the beer tent!
ps see Duel of Ages. seriously.
the fest is on until the 16th, so you still have lots of time!
* * *
so i’ve been going through a tough time lately, and i was a bit vocal about it in the public arena, which i felt silly about afterwards . . . that is, until a whole bunch of you messaged me to show your support. i guess broadcasting my life online isn’t so bad when you get support from your followers and mates who love you. one such message i received (who, of course, will remain anonymous to protect their privacy) made me flat out bawl (in a happy way):
” i hope you know that i’ve always enjoyed seeing you and talking to you, and that has been from years and years ago, long before twitter and blogging, back to tarragon spring arts fair and york and fringe vignettes in the dark and that victoria goring show in the club and you working at passe muraille and being (when i was first getting to know who you were) this young vibrant smart beautiful theatre artist who i knew would really make a mark for herself someday. and who has.”
this person was in the aforementioned beer tent the other night, so when i saw them, i pushed my way through the crowd and beeeeeeearrrrrrrrrrrrrr-hugggggggggged them.
this is literally the nicest message i’ve ever received. so thoughtful and caring. i didn’t even realize this person KNEW of all that stuff i’ve done. half of my best friends don’t even remember some of this stuff. so thank you, my friend, for giving a shit.
it’s been a really sad holiday season for me. lots of tears in realizing i’m disposable to a lot of people i deeply cared about. but, like the MAN said…
jason, affan, and i, talking on TwitCam…..face-palming the shit outta you.
that’s me at the end of sean & nus’s vlog….we were chatting on skype. i agree, i am “too hot to not.”
i finished, today, the book i bought in Bath exactly a week ago today which was placed rather thoughtlessly in the erotica section (it’s naughty but it’s so much more than sex).
tourism by nirpal singh dhaliwal is a fricken amazing novel, i couldn’t get on the tube without having it handy. i think dhaliwal and i write eerily about the same things – raw sex, ethno-cultural disaffection, gender-wars, present-day socio-political issues, except he veers more to misogyny when he should be aiming for feminism. nonetheless his prose was fire-infused and his present-day musings and his po-mo perspectives were timely and uncannily relevant. i tore through the pages, ravenous.
following the lives of london’s twentysomethings as they struggle through sex-wars, status-shakeups, and an unquenchable lust not for the physical but tantamount for mind-fucks, i was enthralled from beginning to end. as soon as i entered the small black box theatre above a bustling pub with plush red seats and noisy air conditioner, i knew i was where i should be.
proscenium arches should be burned in the streets.
the script itself was tight, meticulously plotted, and carried dialogue that resonated long after the lines were spoken. in terms of performance, although this should have been tom harper’s (who plays protagonist Nick) time to shine, i was more enthralled with actor samuel james (who plays cocksure and compelling mate Joe), and the sincerity of susanna fiore (‘adriana’) portrayal of a hurt lover who finds her own.
i thought about the parallels with my play the spadina monologues, and all the places i’m sending it to.
the thing about me and theatres is, i like sitting in the front row, pushed beyond my comfort levels, inside the 4th wall, where the spotlights brush my face now and again, and make myself part of the scene. i purposefully make eye contact with the actors, make them look away first. linger after the play has ended. i lean in, get wrapped up, and won’t lean out. there is something in this that rips me open. without the pleasure of a scar.
on the bus ride home tonight, sitting atop the double decker, a date was winding down. the couple chatted like nervous conspirators. he battled his italian accent, she with her norwegian. their accents fought for dominance. from behind, i decided i liked his hair better than hers.
—
for this long weekend, i think i’m going to hop on a boat, travel down the thames to greenwich. stand in the spot where time meets.
last night was one of those moments that will live on forever as one of the best experiences of my life. we were ready for the worst. we knew the show itself was good, but we were worried no one would actually show. but they came (if you build it…..).
friends. coworkers. old classmates. professors. former roommates. even some of you random blog readers. just those who’d heard about it. and the place radiated with the energy of a full house.
layne got up on stage before the show began to say a few words. “few” is not an accurate description of the heartfelt address he gave. he spoke about how we first met, how some great playwrights have come out of the passe muraille box office, and how doing this workshop has made his 2007 so far the best year. then, with shakey knees and adrenaline propelling me somewhere familiar and strange, brendon and i emerged out the shadows of the theatre and filled the lights.
glancing into the audience i saw faces i once knew – victoria p, my childhood best friend whom i used to take baths with! belarie z, my professor and supervisor for my masters. tammy j, my old roommate. sue, paula and layne like a cheering squad. anya, jesse, richard, caitlin, optimuscrime toronto, ann, vicki, and jess occupying the corners of the theatre. then random strangers, mouths closed, ears open.
the first scene shocked us. brendon and i are just going through what we think is a dull scene, and the audience is cackling and laughing at the jokes and spots we’d forgotten were funny. it was really hard to keep a straight face when the audience surprises you with the roars. actually, as the scenes progressed and the audience grew vociferous with debilitating laughter, i had to either turn my face away from the audience or try to cover my face because their laughter infected me. like a pathogen.
and i know exactly whose laugh did me in too. sue and layne, damn you. their laughs just threw me for a loop.
it’s been so long since one of my plays was staged, and even longer since i’ve been on stage. it felt like coming home, like resting where my head and gut and heart belong. as the lights dimmed and the applause began, to roars, the cheers, the ovations, i was taken aback. never knew this feeling. at least, not for a long time. in the past, written so many shitty plays, had performed like paint-drying, finally finding a winner.
people flooded the greenroom, praise and hugs. shocked by the response, i’d written and performed something that resonated. they said it was the right blend of funny and touching, sweet and cheeky, smart and cocky. i wish i was making this stuff up. i wish i had to lie to make me look good. i wish this was ego talking. but it wasn’t from my lips, but theirs. i just revelled in it.
even more flooded the party afterward. a rush of people to my side. all i heard was ‘dynamic’ and ‘compelling’ and ‘beautiful’ and ‘lyrical’ and ‘poetic’ and ‘funny.’ is this the best moment, i think so.
my friends, oddly enough, have always been my toughest critics, but the fact that they were uproarious with their praise made me soar. i think only a few people’s opinions really mattered to me – belarie, because she’s like a second mother to me, sue & paula, cuz they know bad and good theatre when they see it, layne (of course), and optimuscrime toronto’s because she’s seen my writing evolve since adolescence and knows what this means to me (read her lovely shout-out to me on her page, i’m sitting in tears reading it.)
the rest was the cherry. the icing. the rainbow. the pot of gold. i circulatd the party like a butterfuly, not believing how allof this was really for me. i could see layne talking to all these people, telling them how much he believes in me. he’s probably the best friend i’ve ever had.
inexplicably, however, he disappeared into the night without saying goodbye. not to me. not to anyone. perplexed and worried, because that’s not like him at all. i’m leaving in 3 days, i probably won’t see him again. why would he leave? i never got my hug. i never got to say goodbye.
midnight rolled around and the party thinned to just me, brendon, paula, tara, and kaumil. blasting my party cd, paula suggested, as my last act as a TPM stagger, i get up on the mainstage and dance. i ran like a riot, hit the centre stage, and spun like my feet were on acid. jumping and gyrating, singing and acting ridiculous, they all joined me, until i finally collapsed on the stage floor, and stared up into the lighting grid. i looked around my theatre, in my last moments there, and wanted to sleep.
finally, it was time to go home. i was the last to leave like i’d planned. standing on the street, waving goodbye to everyone, begging it not to end.
called a cab.
and as i sped through the city, in the velvet black of night, rain pelting the windshield, i rose upon the gardiner expressway which overlooks the cityscape. beautiful, majestic. my cn tower. my skyscrapers. my parks. my waterfront. my city.
i put my head back on the leather seat, closed my eyes.
the last line of the play hit me.
and you wonder what to do next.
— some photos from the party last night, taken by jess:
ann has nicer tatas than me.
jess and i kinda kept our distance in this shot.
so i slammed my boobies into hers for the next.
the crew – ann, vicki, moi, and jess.
sonja . . . you’re perpetually late to everything, but i wuv u.
ann, sophia, moi, vicki
right before we snapped this, jesse said, “uh, i don’t smile in photos.” it’s the supermodel in him.
tammy jane clouston!! TAMMY JANE! CSI!!! CSI!!!!
we’re so icky sweet, we’ll give you a toothache.
—
oddly enough, that morning, jess asked me to be her burn victim.
before, with puffy early morning face.
half-way through the scalding pain.
and after, with a single tear trickling down my mangled face.
yet somehow i am defiant.
sad but defiant.
amazing how the burns healed in just a couple hours, eh?
—
paula and i are laughing at the expense of emo kids and goths.
“i wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself.”
“i’m so goth i pee darkness.”
“i’m so goth i poo melancholy.”
aren’t we clever?
she took a video with her camera last night of me dancing on the stage to the spice girls. i smell an e! true hollywood story moment.
I can't wear white without spilling something on it
Christine Estima
As a half-Portuguese, half-Lebanese, feminist, vegetarian, pacifist, fag-hag, novelist, hipster, atheist, shit-disturber, blogger, backpacker, playwright, bookworm, film critic, and lovertine, I began my journey of petulance and precociousness in the suburbs of Montreal and Toronto. I thusly figured I'd turn out to be a nun, or a writer. A few years at a Catholic school cured me of the first disease.
I cannot wear white without spilling something on it, but you'll still find me, most likely, in the fridge at 4am.
more of my articles have gone live up on BlissTree. I’ve been writing my fingers off, and it’s kinda great to feel carpal tunnel whilst simultaneously delivering so much content on a daily basis, gets me motivated to do so much more writing. i have so many ideas! i’m oh so hire-able! this article I wrote called Eat Pray Burn was a lot of fun actually, it’s about how wealthy white women are more prone to melanoma, according to a new study!
this article i wrote on Potassium Iodide is more of a news-y article, documenting the recent radiation scare from Japan and how Canadians are buying up all the Potassium Iodide pills from the shops out west
i also wrote a really cool essay about last week when i was sick and a Drug-Free Experiment i did….basically, instead of relying on over-the-counter cold meds to get through the cold, i took nothing but natural supplements, and had some interesting results. read on, pilgrims.
