"Blogging isn't journalism, it's graffiti with punctuation."

>am berlin

>sorry for long silence, couldn’t be helped.

no rest for the wicked, yadda yadda yadda.

berlin, berlin, berlin.

phonetically, what’s the diff between anne boleyn, amber lynn, am berlin, and anberlin?

it’s funny how 60 years ago, walking leisurely through these streets would have been unfathomable. this was ground zero for destruction, corruption, and evil. now everyone is just loaded with heart. when i was in beirut last year, i began to feel the war-zone effect, even though their civil war had been over for 15 years. 60 years after wwII, i can still feel the war-zone effect in these streets. bombed out churches, patched-up and unpatched-up bullet holes speckle old buildings, reminders of deather, genocide, artillery, everywhere.

yesterday i did a free walking tour (same company as the amsterdam one i did), my guide’s name was andrew and he took us through the brandenburg gate, past the reichstag, along the former site of the berlin wall (now only a line of cobblestones embedded in the tarmac remains), to the ss dungeons, the last remaining pieces of the wall, past checkpoint charlie, past the site of hitler’s bunker now gone, but it’s where he blew his head off (andrew said hitler’s and eva braun’s – now eva hitler after their secret little ceremony – bodies were buried in the former ussr until the 70s when they were exhumed, their bones crushed and pulverized into bits, and then thrown into a body of water so that there wouldn’t be a site of worship, a shrine, or pilgrimage to their graves). we went by the holocaust memorial, the site of the may 10/1933 book burning, museum island, and other cool places that make me feel like history is happening in the smallest countries.

my big country back home is the most serene republic.

hard for drama queens like me, but in the end, a utopia.

at the gendarmenmarkt, where the book burning took place, in the ground, underneath glass, was an empty library. shelves and shelves – barren. hommage and tributes, solemn reminders begging for a scream.

there was a plaque there with a quote from 1820, which prophetically states, “this is only the beginning – those who burn the books burn the people.”

spine chills as the church bells ring.

i also loved the few remains of the berlin wall, and its graffitti. i stared at one little scrawl someone had spray-painted in 1989….”MADNESS.”

that’s goddamned right.

the hotel where michael jackson dangled his spawn-like baby.

more screams than kristelnacht.

after the tour, i ran to the Altes Museum (a world heritage site, no less) to see their egyptian and papyrus collection.

the famous bust of nefertiti.

i looked into her eyes, the contours of her face and shoulders, her frozen expression through the spectre of time.

they say nefertiti was the most beautiful woman in ancient egypt.

i was most inspired by the papyrus collection. papyrus scrolls and gospels have always captivated me, i should learn how to make them.

papyrus documents written in heretic, coptic, arabic, aramaic, greek, like works of art, delicate and curved like the lunar crescent.

one in particular captured my rapt attention – “A dispute over suicide” by an anonymous author from 1850 bce.

to whom shall i speak today?
there are no friends, one must resort to strangers to confide one’s discontent.

death stands before me today
like healing before one who is sick.
like stepping into fredom after suffering.

death stands before me today
like the scent of incense.
like sitting under the sail on a day of wind.

death stands before me today
like the perfume of lotus blossoms.
like living on the edge of intoxication.

death stands before me today
like the rain stopping.
like the return home of a man from war.

death stands before me today
like the desire of a man to see his home again. after being in prison for many years.

my camera broke. shelled out €179 for a new one, which will need an a/c adaptor when i get back to toronto.

i felt alone and bitchy and amazonian today. camera, money, european pasts.

while dozens of people died in beirut today.

hezbollah, haifa. beirut, tyre, jerusalem, arab, jew and condi rice.

tomorrow i head to warsaw.

how appropos.

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2 responses

  1. I wrote down the same text when i was in berlin the other day! how strange. You too only have a part of the text. I am searching for the text in it’s entire-ity, but am having no luck(this is how i found your blog). Apparently, it ends differently than the version we heard, it is much longer!
    If you know this and where i can find the whole text, please let me know.

    Interesting, i too am an artist. you can see some of the source material for my current work on my blog: http://www.theamericandreamtoday.blogspot.com
    sincerely
    petter
    .

    January 11, 2007 at 11:09 PM

  2. >I wrote down the same text when i was in berlin the other day! how strange. You too only have a part of the text. I am searching for the text in it’s entire-ity, but am having no luck(this is how i found your blog). Apparently, it ends differently than the version we heard, it is much longer!If you know this and where i can find the whole text, please let me know. Interesting, i too am an artist. you can see some of the source material for my current work on my blog: http://www.theamericandreamtoday.blogspot.comsincerelypetter.

    January 11, 2007 at 11:09 PM

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