"Blogging isn't journalism, it's graffiti with punctuation."

>she likes me for me, not because i look like leonardo, or that guy who played in fargo, i think his name is steve

>sorry for the long delay in updating, my delicious munchkins. when the emails pile up demanding an update, you know it’s time to give the people what they want.

my weekend in zadar, croatia:

PART ONE
the turquoise beach











this is sexy mo-fo sylvy, an italian south african, also living in london. she’s literally the Coolest.Chick.Ever. we shared a dormroom and the amazing experience of the stunning adriatic. it was her idea to rent this peddle-boat to cross from one beach to another. along the way, another peddler loaded with croat boys approached us and followed closely behind us as we raced to the shore. we nicknamed them the pirates of the adriatric.



step into the cool green of serenity.


PART TWO:
dinner and the old city centre


sylvy so gorgeous


chrissy so stunning.


PART THREE:
dirty Croats cause faking lesbians


the guy on the left we nicknamed FannyPack-BigTeeth, the guy on the right we nicknamed UniBrow-Erection. can you guess why Sylvy and I pretended to be lesbians all night. we kissed and hugs and held hands and my how the croats whispered.


FannyPack-BigTeeth had his hand so far up my leg he could count the change in my pocket. ewwww, get off me! he asked at one point if sylvy and i were into men, and without batting an eyelash, we shouted NO

INTERLUDE
chrissy poses like a nimrod

PART FOUR
drinking!


jagermeister


pina colada and alabama slammer


consume

more

and another

keep drinking, bitches!

sex on the beach-me!

more drinking!

slurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp

PART FIVE
swirling red of Arsenal Bar and Lounge




PART SIX
sylvy and chrissy smile shots




this one’s the money-shot from next months Hustler


this one too

PART SEVEN
canadian conservative assholes


the guy on the left, from calgary, said i wasn’t white enough to be Canadian and that he believes in a conservative government. the guy on the right, from ontario, said cursing in exclamation meant you were stupid, and was a docile little boy who takes it up the ass.


this was before we realized what losers they are, of course.


we ate pizza with them just to shut them up.


notice how unimportant people turn into shadows…

PART EIGHT
zadar illuminates at night


before i flew to croatia, i spent the morning in ben’s bed. the sheets tangled in our mess, woven with our limbs, pillows covering half-cheeks and crooked smiles. radio-music that he sang to.

last night we threw cheesies up in the air and caught them in our mouths. before the moans caught the rest.

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