"Blogging isn't journalism, it's graffiti with punctuation."

>episode 4 roundup, when women rule the world

> tanja, moi-même, and kat at the brick lane festival, picking up afrikaans boys… why am i missing an eye?

before i begin my impressions of last night’s episode of my reality tv show, i have a happy announcement to make!

another one of my short stories is getting published! of course, anyone who has read my stories (or my blog for that matter) know that my fiction tends to explore what happens when sexuality, gender, and ethnicity collide, and this story is no different….of course, sexuality being the predominant theme.

sit on my face and tell me that you love me.

anyway, i am going to refrain from mentioning the title of the story because i think the risk of copyright infringement on a public blog is too high (although, if you’re on my Facebook friend’s list, i’ve mentioned it on there…). i will say that the former title of the piece was “the mouth of the mediterranean.” the story will be published in Descant, a critically-acclaimed and highly respected literary journal based in Toronto. It will be released next year, summer 2009 in issue 145. of course, i’ll use this blog to remind you all when the date approaches so you can get your own copy.

previously, Descant has published the likes of Michael Ondaatje (author of The English Patient), Margaret Atwood (author of The Handmaid’s Tale), Timothy Findley, Anne Michaels (author of Fugitive Pieces), my literary heroine Evelyn Lau (her personal diaries “Runaway: Diary of a Streetkid” changed my life) and Jane Urquhart (author of “Away” and she was also my mentor at the Humber School for Writers)….so I am immensely honoured to be included in such company.

plus i desperately need this paycheque!

huzzah for Can.Lit!….or “Clit” for brevity’s sake.

onto when women rule the world!

yes this is ME smiling next to ME on tv….

doesn’t matter which ME you look at in this shot, i’m pulling a dumb face in both frames.

chrissy kissing chrissy….

now i’m trying to kiss G-Range and Myles…which is gross cuz they’re like my brothers…really hot and screw-able brothers.

alright munchkins, if you live in the UK/Ireland, and want to watch last night’s 4th episode of the reality tv show i feature on, when women rule the world, click here, and to catch up on the previous 3 episodes, click here. also don’t forget that last night’s episode will be repeated this sunday at 2:25pm on channel 4, and also next wednesday at 11pm on E4.

click here to read the official wrap-up of episode 4 from the show’s website.

onto my impressions of episode 4 — holy fucking shit. you know what, i had no idea lianne and desrine did that. absolutely no idea. when they came back, they were adamant that the boys had done nothing wrong and were just sitting in a café waiting for the second bus….although at the time, i do remember thinking it was really out of order to desrine to immediately get on the defensive and accuse angela of interrogating her.

i can’t reveal any details here of future episodes obviously, but i will say that later on, the remaining boys AND desrine have a chance to own up to what happened and come clean…the boys embraced the opportunity to a certain point, but desrine never said a word. not even to me, and her and i were really close while filming the show. in the past 10 months since we shot the show, her and i have remained close friends and we talk quite often. to be honest, i’m actually a little hurt that she never confessed to pulling this stunt.

at the end of the day, i think desrine did it because she wanted to exact revenge on angela. but in the end, it wasn’t just against angela, we all were taken for a ride. and it’s fucking bullshit.

as for lianne, i’m not surprised she did it. lianne didn’t like having the shortest reign of all the queens and wanted to make angela’s life a living hell for dethroning her. all of her previous egotistical musings about “being fair” and “working as a team” were shot to shit in this episode. and yet she’s still posting on youtube comments sections, claiming she’s a victim in all this. there were no victims. only idiots.

however, lianne did say something in last night’s episode that i did agree with – i agreed with it then and i agree with it now – at the queen’s temple, she said the girls were overly flirting and sitting on the boys laps. i, for one, think flirting is healthy and natural, so i have no problem with that, HOWEVER, lesley, karen and gemma were sitting on Ed’s lap a lot. i remember even saying to lesley at one point, jokingly of course “you’ve been on more laps tonight than a napkin!” i flirted… but sitting on laps? that was just taking it too far, methinks. when the show wrapped, okay fine, have all the relationships you want, but not while we’re trying to show women as strong leaders and not giggly little girls.

anyway, i was exchanging a lot of texts with my fellow castmates last night….namely Ed, Myles, Richard, Lianne, and Dan.

Dan (who, as you all saw, was sacrificed in last night’s episode) and I have been exchanging a lot of messages lately and i’m starting to understand where he was coming from. when we were on the island, i remember not having a very strong impression of him. he never spoke up to the women to talk about himself, at least not to me. i didn’t know who he was, what he was about or even why he was there on the show. why did he want to do it? what did he think of women in power? none of us knew. he wasn’t standing out as a winner, nor was he causing trouble – he was in this unknown world of limbo. neither great nor horrible. just coasting. but now that i know more about him and where he’s coming from, i think he would have been a greater asset to us later if he had stayed.

see, in the first episode, G-Range and i didn’t get along at all, but because he opened up to me early on, and i got a better understanding of where he was coming from and his view on the world, therefore i was well aware of the journey he was making, and that’s why i chose him for my servant in last night’s episode. and now, G and i are the best of friends, and despite our differences, we adore each other.

if only Dan had done that…

it was really hard to see Dan sacrificed though, you even see a shot of me at the end putting my head in the my hands. as time wore on, each sacrifice got harder and harder. and seeing Dan gutted on screen last night was tough.

angela’s right, i need to stop being such a sap. thick skin, chrissy! stiff upper lip!

other things that surprised me last night —

-when the first round of servants came back, all the gals were chewing gum, even me. i don’t remember chewing gum! where did we get the gum from? fucked if i remember.

–i struck mikey! i don’t remember striking mikey! i seriously don’t! i had told myself that i had struck dan….10 months later, i had totally forgotten that! but now that i’ve seen it back, i do remember saying those things to him…i wish he had gone that night. the guy is a raging rectum rash.

— how great Ed comes off in that episode, especially the way he stands up to Lianne. he actually said a lot more that night, about how he knows a lot about lianne but how she hasn’t taken the time to get to know him at all. Ed generally comes off well in the show methinks, but i’m waiting for him to say to the camera who he hates and stuff…i’m waiting for a slip up!

anyway, next week i’m hoping to watch episode 5 with a bunch of the guys from the show, we keep trying to get together and our schedules are not clicking. fingers crossed for next week.

seriously episode 5 is gonna be explosive. the girls get their hands dirty and the shit literally hits the fan. it was my favourite moment in the show at that point, so don’t forget to tune in! next thursday, october 2nd, 10:35pm, channel 4!

i’ll be working on a movie next week. i don’t have a speaking role, so don’t get excited, but it’s a major hollywood film starring jake gyllenhaal called Prince of Persia. i went in for my costume fitting at Pinewood studios last week and of course, everything from the sets to the costumes to the jewellery to the hair and makeup has an arabian/middle eastern theme. no wonder they cast me. i probably won’t even be visible on screen, so don’t rush to the cinemas to see me or anything when it’s released…but it’s fucking good money and much better than sitting behind a desk all day, answering phone calls for an office full of stepford wives.

i’m planning a little excursion for next month – to hadrian’s wall. it’s an ancient roman wall that used to mark the border between england and scotland (now the scottish border has moved north). it’s 135 kilometres long, running from the east coast of england to the west….

…and i’m going to walk the entire length of the wall.

it will take me about 7 days. i’m going to get muddy, tired, and probably lost. i’ll hafta shit in the woods, walk about 30 kilometres a day, wear the same clothes everyday, but i don’t care. i’m fucking doing it.

saddle up.

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5 responses

  1. HEY!I am *NOT* a Stepford Wife.

    September 26, 2008 at 12:50 PM

  2. babe i wasn’t talking about your office! i love you guys! i meant another one i worked for last year…if they read this, they know i’m talking about them…love youuuuuuu

    September 26, 2008 at 12:53 PM

  3. I’m torrenting it now. I didn’t read any of your notes ’cause I don’t want it ruined…

    September 26, 2008 at 2:50 PM

  4. Anonymous

    I bet is my office… eheheC xx

    September 26, 2008 at 2:51 PM

  5. fanks allegra!and no claudia, it’s not your office either!….although it comes close…xx

    September 26, 2008 at 3:22 PM

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