"Blogging isn't journalism, it's graffiti with punctuation."

>episode 7 roundup, when women rule the world

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alright, here we go again munchkins!

first things first, if you live in the UK/Ireland and want to watch online for free last night’s episode of when women rule the world, click here and find the episode which is labelled Thursday 16th October.

if you live anywhere in the world, and want to download last nights’ episode for free, click here.

(download instructions are easy but PLEASE FOLLOW EACH STEP EXACTLY AS I’VE LAID OUT or it won’t work…click on the episode link. it will take you to a page that asks you to fill in a 3-letter code at the top of the page,then click on download. after about a 45-second countdown, click on ‘free download’ and a prompt will ask you to either ‘open’ or ‘save’ the file. click on ‘save’ so the file will always be on your computer, then the download begins. it will take a little over an hour to download the file. once downloaded, you will require a media player à la Windows Media Player/RealPlayer/VLC Media player to view the episodes (i recommend VLC, it’s the best). if you’re media player is out of date, it won’t function. also i’ve noticed that those watching it on Windows Media Player get an odd green letter scroll at the top of the video, while on VLC there’s none, which is why i recommend watching it on VLC…)

if you’re looking to download the previous 6 episodes, scroll down into my previous blog entries, the links are clearly marked.

remember, if you live in the UK/Ireland, episode 7 of When Women Rule The World will be repeated this Sunday the 19th at 2:50pm on Channel 4, and then next Wednesday the 22nd at 11:35pm on E4.


this is gonna be another long entry munchkins, so get your snacks prepared before scrolling down!

onto this-is-what-i-think-&-why-i’m-so-great-&-everybody-loves-me-blah-blah-fucking-blah.

before i launch into my impressions of episode 7, a lot of people, from random viewers to even some my close friends, have been asking me how i ended up being cast in this show. if you go back into my archives, i think december of last year and january of this year, you’ll find the answers, but just so it’s right here in front of you – here’s the full story:

it was november of 2007. my mate from toronto Sonja was staying with me for 2 weeks. we were going out every day and doing so much stuff in the city that when we’d come back to mine at night, we’d be so zonked that we’d just veg out in front of the tv or piss about on the net. so one night, i was watching old documentaries on the channel 4 website (fyi, you can watch them in full for free on there! it’s awesome!) and then i started surfing through the site, and came across this button that said something to the effect of “calling all feminists!”

so i thought, clicky clicky!

clicked on the button, and there was this call for strong, independent, women who had accomplished something in their lives to apply for this show. details were very scarce, and at the time, they were calling the show “Queen Bee” which of course was just a decoy, they didn’t want us googling the real name and finding out what the show was all about.

there was a questionnaire to fill out, it was pretty standard. just asked me questions about my life and my views on certain things. but here’s the kicker – i was totally taking the piss with my application. i was being facetious with every remark. i won’t say i wasn’t taking it seriously, but i was just having a lot of fun with it. applications can be so stuffy and boring sometimes, i just thought i’d spice it up, give ’em a laugh. i figured they’d never even read my application anyway, they were probably getting so many, i’d get lost in the jumble.

i even remember one of the questions….. it asked “why do you want to be on television?” and my answer was, i shit you not, “because i’m awesome and people love me.”

THAT was my answer.

barf!

anyhoo, it said that they were planning on filming this oh-so-secretive show in december and all applicants had to have valid passports. since i was applying in mid-november, i figured i was too late but had nothing to lose by still sending it in. so i did.

two weeks went by. Sonja and i went to Paris. came back. did more shizzle all around London, then i sent her back to toronto and started looking for another job.

then one day in early december, i think it was the first week of the month, i get a call from the researcher for the show. she said they got my application and wanted to know if was willing to come into their offices for an on-camera audition.

and i was like, uhhh, really? based on that application? well sure!

so i went in, met the two researchers for the show. they set me up in front of this one camera in this meeting room, and basically asked me the same questions that were on the application. so it wasn’t anything daunting. i guess they were just looking to see how i came across on camera, what kind of presence i had, yadda yadda yadda.

the audition lasted about 30 minutes. when we were done, they said that they had received hundreds and hundreds of applications, so just the fact that i was invited in for an audition meant i had made it past the first hurdle. they also said i had a great on-camera presence and that they’d call me the following week.

sweet. i got a little giggly and excited and skipped all the way home.

the following week came and went, and no phone call.

weeks later, by the time i was meant to fly home to toronto for christmas, i figured i hadn’t gotten it. oh well. no biggie. NEXT!

so i fly back to london in early january and start a new job at this lovely advertising agency in soho that i loved….then, as fortune likes to fuck with well-laid plans, ONE WEEK into my new position, the researchers call me up and tell me that i still have a shot at being in the show, and would i like to come back in and meet the series producer so she can assess me….

uhhh, really? are you sure? okey dokey!

so i head back to the production company’s office, and i meet again with the researchers and the series producer. we have a pleasant chat about some of the themes concerning the show (most of which they’ve been very hush-hush about. at this point, i still don’t know the name of the show, how many other cast members there are, where we’re filming it, how long we’ll be gone, and what the rules and reg’s are for the show) and afterward they ask me if i’d be willing to have them perform a police-background-check on me. well why? have i been cast in the show?

they wouldn’t answer me on that.

so yeah, do all the police-bakcground-checks you like. the next day, they had me come in again to sign some contracts and fill out more forms.

have i been cast in the show, yes or no?

“we can’t tell you that.”

ug!

the next day, they had me come in for costume fittings.

am i in the show or not! if i am, i gotta tell my boss! so you gotta tell me now!

“ok fine, you’re in the show.”

sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

“and you’re flying out to location next week.”

Ummm, did you just say next week? next fucking week? bloody hell!

so in one week, i had to sign a whole bunch more contracts, tell my boss (who subsequently fired me….apparently being on a reality tv show doesn’t make for good business), go get jabs and immunizations and start my malaria pills, get letters of references and clean bills of health, be interviewed by a psychologist to make sure i wasn’t crazy, pay all my rent in advance, pack up my shit, and somehow cope with all these changes in such a short time!

apparently, from all my different sources, the reason i was the very last person to be cast in the show is because either a) some other girl had been cast and she withdrew so i replaced her, b) it was a toss-up between me and another girl and the production team preferred me in the end, or c) channel 4 had to approve all cast members, and the had reservations about casting a canadian gal on a british show, and concerns about whether i would relate to an all-british audience arose.

i think the likely answer is d) all of the above.

who cares in the end, i still made it!

so the night before we flew out to location (the production put us up in this swanky hotel right next to Heathrow. the rooms were the size of Tescos, we had free room service and our rooms were filled with free swag and gifts (makeup, lotions, bikinis, lingerie, bags, clothes, jewellery, and little trinkets), i still had no idea what the name of the show was, or even where we were flying to!

it was only when i got my airplane ticket in my hand did i find out we were flying to the dominican republic (via paris).

and it was only on like the first or second day of shooting (when we shot those opening sequence scenes of us gals in the gold bikinis coming out of the blue surf) that i found out the title of the show. they really kept things secretive!

i think that first week of shooting was the hardest for me. all the other girls had found out they were cast in the show months prior, and had gotten used to the idea of being on this show. i had a week to prepare myself for this, and didn’t really get a moment’s rest in that week to actually sit and digest it. so when i arrived, i was really moody. to the point of shutting down convo’s with other people, and just needing to go off on walks by myself to brood for a bit. it was really bad. the set was so massive and the crew was like 200+, like a film set really, and from what i’d heard, steve jones was a massive star in the UK (i’d never heard of him until i met him and people whispered to me who he was. i liked him instantly, he’s really friendly and funny and easy to shoot the shit with. in fact, him and gemma became really good friends during our time down there, and they still hang out sometimes. he didn’t have any of that celeb bullshit ego that you sometimes hear about [coughLIANNEcough], and worked his ass off on this show. it was only when we flew back to london that i picked up a tabloid magazine, saw his face in it, and really realized just how big a star he was). so being confronted with such a massive production, i freaked out. and as you can see, i’m not really a presence in the first few episodes, because i was getting used to the idea as we were filming. i think by the time we had built the aquaduct, i was finally finding my footing.

so anyway, we were down in the DR for about a month and were completely cut off from the outside world. the village was 5 hours outside of santo domingo and 45 minutes from the nearest town (and i use the word “town” loosely). no tv, no radio, no internet, no newspapers, no cell phones, no ipods….and to answer the most common question – yes, we actually slept in those pods!! i loved my pod! it was beautiful and spacious and more luxurious than my london flat! we slept in those pods every night and the boys slept in those bug-infested barracks every night. and despite what any other reality tv star might tell you, you NEVER forget that the cameras are around. there are camera men and sound guys mere centimetres from you, shoving lenses and booms right in your face. we didn’t have any private moments on that island, unless we purposefully ran away from the camera men.

as for the other cast mates, most of them applied like me. some were scouted as they walked down the streets, or the researchers knew of from one source or another and asked them to audition. none of us knew each other except for a few. richard and lianne had actually lived together briefly in los angeles years ago. angela claimed she sorta-recognized ed from a holiday somewhere in the south pacific years ago. mikey and fenton were actually good mates from before, having met doing the audition circuits. and danny lives in the same area as fenton, so they’d seen each other around before. fenton and angela had met steve jones before as well, but didn’t know he was the host of it until we arrived.

ok, so that covers most of the questions i’ve been asked about the show….if you want to know more, fire away!


so, back to episode 7

the shakespeare quote!! it made it into this episode!! bah! i was actually hoping they’d edit that out…but hey, the merchant of venice, just so relevant in reality tv shows, wouldn’t you say?!

i hate the way i look in those goddamn sacrifice dresses they put us ladies in. my titties look like watermelons. (hey kids! wanna talk about titties in school or in front of your parents but don’t want them to know what you’re talking about?? use one of Madame Estima’s classic titty euphemisms! in the past, we’ve given you “pleasure pillows!” and “sweater meat!” but now, we proudly present this week’s titty euphemism which is…BLOUSE BOULDERS! enjoy!)

in the beginning of this episode, you see me retreating to my pod to talk about how disgusted i am with the exchange that occured between G and Karen. i don’t know if you can tell, but half of my makeup has rubbed off. why? because, you guessed it, i cried my eyes out after that sacrifice. is there ever a time when i’m not crying on this show? even steve jones said to me that if we had to live there year-round, i’d be crying all the time. i didn’t cry because i was sad to see mikey or fenton go. on the contrary, that didn’t bother me in the slightest. it was because mikey made a disgustingly vile and derogatory comment to me (that i don’t care to repeat) which normally wouldn’t have bothered me, but because it was said in front of a crew of 200+, i was more embarrassed than anything else. as soon as mikey and fenton were off and the director called cut, the exec producer, the director, and the series producers came up to me to assure me that such abuse would not make it to air and then they just all hugged me while i cried like an idiot. the next day, desrine told me that no man should ever have the power over me to make me feel insecure enough to cry. she was absolutely right.

and for fuck’s sake chris! karen took more of a beating than i did, i really shouldn’t cry over such rubbish. and the way karen handled it was amazing. she talked her way through her problem. i sobbed. strength vs emotional-fucktard. compare and contrast!

anyway, karen called me and texted me last night to thank me for defending her in last night’s episode.

anyhoo, as for the secret meeting i held that night in my pod: you can see an open wooden chest in the room next to me as i’m addressing karen, lesley and gemma. what didn’t make it to the final cut is, i walked into my pod to find the chest there. i open it and read out a scroll which details the picnics we’ll be going on. i then run out of my pod, gather the three ladies, and inform them of what’s going on. the thing about these picnics too was that whichever guys we chose to go with us would then become our servant, and angela and desrine were the only two girls who had told me as different points that they weren’t bothered whether or not they had a servant. which is why they didn’t come along.

originally, i wanted to bring G and myles with myself and karen, but considering what had just happened, the director angelo talked me out of it, saying that would be too much for karen to handle, so i substituted G for Ed.

Ed, Myles, myself and Karen were all loaded onto this mini bus with this old dominican man who had cataracts and was wielding a sawed off shotgun for our safety. with so many bumps on the road to our destination, we were petrified the gun would go off! he was pleasant and sweet though.

we didn’t go straight to that picnic locale. i think they needed to set it up first, so they took us to the hotel where the production team was staying, and we chilled in the restaurant for a few hours. i remember us just chatting away for a few hours. i don’t remember all the details of our convos, but i think this is when i started to really get to understand Ed. somehow we got on the topic of marriage. i said i wasn’t a big supporter of marriage and he said he really wanted to get married one day. and i remember asking him, “do you think that the way we view marriage is influenced by our parent’s marriage?” he said absolutely, because his parents have been married for donkey’s years and are still madly in love, while my parents went through a messy and bitter divorce.

anyway, after a few hours of yapping, i wanted to get up and stretch my legs so i suggested someone take a walk with me down to the beach which was on the same property as the hotel. ed said he’d come with me, as karen wanted to stay and munch on more yummy snacks at the restaurant. we walked down to the beautiful beach cove and i immediately took off my flip flops ad ran toward the surf. but when the ebb hit my feet and i felt how cold it was, i squealed and came running back. ed laughed his ass off at me. i must have looked like a petrified child! we then picked up smooth stones and tried skipping them. of course he could skip them all and i could skip none! myles then came over to get us as the bus was ready to take us to the locale, and we all laughed and yapped the entire way there.

that picnic was a bit nightmarish though. i’m a vegetarian and there was barely any food there i could eat. lobster and chicken are meat, people! i also don’t drink and they were serving us fricken champagne! so i nibbled on cold potatoes. ick.

it was also really windy on that cliff so you can actually see me in most of the shots trying to hold down the tablecloth, hehe. Ed was sitting in direct sunlight too. at one point when the cameras called cut, his face was really burnt and red so i got some aloe vera from my bag, squeezed some into my palm, and very gently applied it to his face.

after Ed’s whole myles-this-is-how-i-really-feel-about-you session, the series producer asked Ed if he wanted to have a one-on-one with any of us. i thought he’d say myles, so that the two of them could hug it out or something. but he said me. and this is what was edited out of this episode:

ed and i climbed up to this really high point of the cliff which overlooked the ocean. it was really rocky and really steep. we had a long chat and again he got very emotional with me, spilling his guts about how he feels about myles and why he was doing this challenge and asking what i thought of his approach so far.

ok, it’s big-revelation-time here, munchkins. as we climbed up to the cliff, before the cameras started rolling, we very slowly and carefully approached the edge of the cliff. it was easily a 100 foot straight drop to the jagged rocks and water below, and we were wearing flimsy flip flops, so we really had to keep our balance. Ed walked up to the edge first, and i slowly followed behind him. he was looking down at the water and across the big expanse of blue before us, but i hesitated to go as close as he did. why? because i was fricken scared. so Ed reached out and took my hand to steady me. so there we were, on a cliff top, overlooking the ocean, the wind dancing in our hair, the strong hot sun slathering our skin, in an area where surely the heavens lean against the earth, delicately holding hands, fingers intertwined…..

….and i’m thinking to myself, “kiss me.”

but then he started talking and that quickly ruined the mood.

so there you have it.

anyhoo, the next day we had those one on one interrogation sessions with the boys. it quickly became obvious what a prick AJ was. all this time he had been kissing our asses and all it took was a little provocation for him to shut down and become his true asshole self. 2 months ago when i was in the hospital, he even called me then to tell me about how little respect he had for us girls and how little work he had done and how much shit he pulled behind our backs.

and i’m lying there, with tubes running in and out of my body, unable to eat or breathe or swallow to speak properly, hepped up on steroids and fucking strong antibiotics, thinking to myself, this fucking prick actually thinks this is funny, and is choosing the absolutely WRONG time to tell me this. so i manufactured some lie about my mobile phone dying and hung up on him. i hope that’s the last time i ever speak to AJ…or as we all nicknamed him – “burger nipples.”

anyway, during these interrogation sessions, we didn’t just get answers to the sabotage. we also go answers to what happened at the market, what happened with the moving of the statue, what happened with the stealing of the beer, what the men really thought of us, and what they really thought of each other. but the sabotage was foremost in our list of questions. i even remember shouting at G (some of which made it into the episode) about how he’s refusing to tell us who did it but in reality he really wants us to know. i told him we knew he was pissed off that he felt the need to cover for a bunch of wankers who, if the situation was reversed, wouldn’t have covered for him. and i think when that sunk in, he finally admitted it was mikey. i think that’s what saved him from sacrifice too.

but that was probably the easiest sacrifice night. AJ just didn’t stack up against the other 3. he wasn’t a winner. he had done nothing to make us think he was worthy of £30,000. he was just plodding along. and his final comment that “women can’t rule the world. i don’t think they can do anything” is very telling of the deep misogyny and stupidity that runs through this vacuous brain. i really hope all future potential employers/girlfriends hear that remark. seriously ladies, if you’re reading this, never sleep with that man, never give him money, never believe a word he says….that’s free advice.

so as you can see from the preview of next week’s episode, it’s the finale, and as usual, i’m bawling my eyes out. remember to watch next week thursday october 23rd at 11:10pm on channel 4 to see who wins!!

we’re having a finale party, so expect photos of that soon after the finale!

just so you all know, i have several tracking devices on my blog, and i can see what all of you are googling to find this blog.

for the dude who googled “when women rule the world christine nude pics“….all i’ve gotta say is – dream on.

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4 responses

  1. Dämmerung Anblick

    Damn, busted again…

    October 18, 2008 at 3:19 AM

  2. Does this mean, that you girls didn’t actually knew about the “women rule, men obey”-concept before the men did?

    October 18, 2008 at 3:56 PM

  3. we knew before the men but only by a few days. when we started filming those gold bikini scenes, we were given an entire booklet of the rules and regs of the game, and so on….we knew back in london that it would be a woman-ruled island, but the entire details weren’t revealed until we were cut off from society and couldn’t tell our friends, hehe

    October 18, 2008 at 6:25 PM

  4. w00t! Shout-out!

    October 22, 2008 at 2:31 AM

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