"Blogging isn't journalism, it's graffiti with punctuation."

>final episode roundup, when women rule the world!

>the FINALE of When Women Rule The World, aired last night on channel 4. if you missed it, it will repeat here in the UK/Ireland on sunday on channel 4 at 2(ish)o’clock in the afternoon. and then next wednesday on E4 at 11(ish) o’clock at night.

if you live anywhere in the world and want to download the episode, click here. i’m tired of giving you download instructions, you can find them in previous blogs. or figure it out yourself.

i went over to karen’s house on monday and we spent the day together. i sat in on her dance classes, we went lightbulb shopping together, we picked aubergines from her allotment, we scoped out the venue for the party, and we had dinner together at her place….karen is an incredible woman, her life has definitely been a life-less-ordinary, she’s done so much and seen so much, and yet she’s still brimming with excitement and giddiness like a school girl. i hope to achieve half of things she has in my life, and i hope to become the woman she is naturally. and i mean, DAY-UM is she so so beautiful and hot. her butt is still in the same place it ws 20 years ago…it kills me! if i was a lesbian, i would totally tap that, all on the floor, tap that, till i get sore…..

as promised, here are the photos from last night’s finale par-tay. all the cast who live in london made an appearance (and this weekend i’m going up to newcastle to visit angela and we’ll probably try to have lunch with the director and gemma, so not a total loss). the party was held at West 5 in south ealing…ain’t no party like a homosexual party.

can you guess who wasn’t invited?

danny, rich, moi-même, and fenton…those handsome devils…

you know what rich revealed to me only last night? HIM AND I MET ABOUT 9 MONTHS PRIOR TO DOING THE SHOW TOGETHER! and i actually remember meeting him, but i didn’t remember his face….back in april of 2007, i was laptopping at my favourite café in soho called The Breakfast Club (you’ll probably find me there on most days actually) and i was chatting up this film director named Chris Klockner who was brutally hot and i was trying to mack it with. anyway, richard shows up to meet chris, and rich and i start yapping about writing, because that’s what we both do for a living. i remember sitting next to rich, looking at his cool little bite-size japanese laptop, talking about freelance agencies and what not, and then they left. i remember the meeting very clearly BUT i didn’t get a good look at richard’s face. anyway, in the first episode, when the girls meet the guys, that was the first time richard and i met again face to face. i didn’t clue in that it was him, but apparently, according to rich, he remembered me instantly. and he kept it a secret from everybody! from production, from the other boys…he never uttered a word. he wanted to reveal it on camera one day as a big thing, but he got booted out of the village so quickly he never got a chance….and for the past 10 months, he’s never said a word. and i’ve been to his house, dammit! he only revealed it last night, and i was shocked! because i remember meeting him, but i didn’t register his face!…. him and i have so much more to talk about now, he has a LOT of explaining to do.

my bestest ladies show up in their finery: l-r, chris (not a lady), kat, moi-même, tanja, aluma and larissa.

Etiquette Eddie shows up with a dorothy perkins bag…your guess is as good as mine….
l-r: moi-même, danny, karen, rich, ed, and fenton (plus random friends in there whose names i didn’t get cuz i’m really self centered and need to pay closer attention, blah blah fucking blah).

pucker up, fenton! my ass is ready…

more of my bestest buddies! l-r: ben, ilaria, claudia and me in the back. could they be any hotter?

claudia is too damn yummy, i just want to grab her tushie all day long.

if only ben were straight…ROWR.

larissa and moi….aka the pissed-off gals…don’t fuck with daddy.

my old flat mate andrew….you mean, a fag in a gay nightclub? who knew?

i can’t live wifout my lumee….and her gorgeous flawless skin….dammit.

it’s my baby boy G-Range!! or as he now known as…ONE STRIPE.

that’s right, all eyes are on me…i command the screen, bitch.

look at how enthralled they are by the drama! all eyes on the plasma screens!
l-r: larissa, aluma, danny, ed, richard, chris, katrina and tanja.

danny shoved his tongue down my throat…so now i’ve indirectly snogged lianne. KILL ME.

ben can’t tear his eyes away from g-range. can you blame him? YUMMINESS!

BEAST!….karen looks so gorgeous, i can’t get over it.

g-range and fenton are enthralled by the drama on the telly… and surround themselves with sympathetic gals.

it’s lesley on the telly! holla!

Ben, is that your sex face? LOVE. IT.

richard, what is that poking into my butt?
l-r: karen, ed, andrew, moi-même and rich…..

wow….ed, you’re so….shiny.

we’re here, but we’re also on tv….what a mind-fuck.

stop being so handsome.

i adore this photo, it’s my favourite of the night….group hug!! love them so much.
l-r: karen, ed, rich, moi-même, g-range, danny and The Fent.

one more time for the cheap seats in the back! (and yes, i’m backing my ass up into G…a gal loves her fun).

so we watched our penultimate episode together on the club’s big plasma screen TVs….we watched the first episode together, it was only fitting that we watch the finale together.

it was so lovely to see everyone again. fenton graciously said that he thinks Karen and myself are the two women who come across the best on screen, because we really and truly were ourselves. and from most of the emails and messages i’m getting from random viewers, it’s nice to know that most of you agreed.

also we’re organizing another party on saturday 8th november at a club in Mayfair, details of which i’ll post on here as soon as everything is confirmed. the cast is set to appear at this event as well, and it’s open to the public, so show up if ya like!

so onto my impressions of the finale….

the biggest shock that morning was finding out that, unlike the previous episode which were filmed over the course of 2 days, this final episode and the winner would be chosen in one day. essentially, in one afternoon. i remember the date was approximately february 8th. and i knew we were flying back to london on february 12th, so i figured the final episode might be shot over the course of 3 days since we had all that time. instead, after we picked the winner that night, we had 3 days to decompress, lie around the hotel, sunbathe on the beach, swim in the pool with Jonesy, catch up on what was happening in the outside world, and visit some nearby villages and towns. oh and have a massive wrap party with a bonfire on the beach where everyone took off their undies and burned them in the fire! Jonesy even tore off his favourite shirt (he wore it in episode 3 of the show) and burned it in the fire. everyone was chanting BURN IT! BURN IT! BURN IT! good times.

anyway, what i remember most about this queen’s challenge was that, unlike all the previous ones, there was no tension whatsoever. we all wanted karen to wear the crown at the end, and we were all filled with such jovial emotions, especially since the end was drawing near, that we couldn’t contain ourselves and ran to into a group hug as soon as the crown was on her head. that was such a bittersweet moment. because the realization set in that there would be no more days in our village. no more challenges. no more fireworks, fights, conspiracies, tears, rushing adrenaline….it was a mixture of elation and nostalgia.

oh and that little “can i get a whoop whoop!” dance we did as karen was crowned….we did that all the time, this is the only time it was caught on camera. the other thing we always did but couldn’t ever be caught on camera was – those necklaces we always wore were our microphones, and when the sound guys wanted us to test them, we always said, “you’re the best in my eyes.” oh those cheeky sound guys, how they loved that.

i remember Ed and i talking about what we would miss the most: the sound of the crickets and beetles putting us to sleep (did i mention how big the fucking beetles were? the size of footballs, with wings, that would drop on your head at any point…or you’d look under your covers and find 12 of them canoodling in there….), the sound of the ocean waves waking us up with the dawn in the morning…and the woodpecker. there was this one woodpecker to the east of our village that had an axe to grind with one of the trees. it was a costant echo in the background. i loved that woodpecker. most of all, the stars at night. you forget, living in a big smoggy city, about the stars, and when you’re in the middle of nowhere, the constellations are all you have. Caseopeia and Orion and the dippers and the Northern Star….

Ed wanted to sleep out on the beach that last night. shit outta luck.

anyway, the naming of the village was Lady Samana…not the greatest of names. I suggested Galatea (from the ancient greek myth of Pygmalion) or Lilith (in the Torah, Lilith was Adam’s first wife who wouldn’t do what any man told her and was thusly cast out of the garden of eden)….Gemma wanted ‘no man’s land‘ which was simple and to the point, like gemma. but since we chose it during Lianne’s reign, Lianne insisted on calling it Lady Samana. blah blah fucking blah. yes, it kinda blends into Ladies Manor…whatever.

so yeah, angela suggested a wishing well be created and we all agreed. when we surveyed the well afterward, we were shocked by how fucking good it was. i couldn’t believe how deep into the ground they had tunnelled, it was like 7 or 8 feet down. i thought they must have had help doing that, with like a drill press or something, but no, all by the skin of their teeth.

what was edited out of this scene was, each of us took a Peso and before dropping it into the well, we each said a little piece about each person who had left….nikky, carolina, steve, richard (i was chosen to say something about rich, and i remember saying “rich was a kidred spirit because we were both writers. and even though him and i disagreed on many things, at the end of the day, i think he had a good heart.”), danny, lianne, mikey, fenton, and AJ, who had just left the nght before. production had flown him home right away though, so that night when we had the wrap party, he wasn’t there to join in.

my heart bleeds for him.

*cough*

and that sign that says Lady Samana on it….G painted that all by himself. i dont’ know if G brags about this or not, but he’s actually a really talented visual artist. one night, he drew a charcoal portrait of me which i still have to do this day. he’s wildly creative and he should really promote that more.

anyway, onto the final sacrifices and choosing a winner….that was so so hard. i think we all knew it was going to be between G and Ed in the end. Myles was awesome and we all loved him, but, as he said last night, he wasn’t as strong a contender as the other two. but he grafted his ass off during the entire duration of the show, and has so much to be proud of. being there was really hard for him, especially because he missed his baby daughter’s first birthday to be on the show… Myles called me last night before the party. even though he’s based in manchester, he does a lot of work in london and could have come to the party, but i don’t think he cares to see most of the people from the show anymore. he gets along really well with me and a few others, but on the most part, he didn’t really click with others (which is well explored in the show), so he kept to himself last night. but after the party last night, when G was giving me a ride home, myles called G and we spoke on the phone briefly…he sounded odd. i hope he’s well. i’m gonna see him next time he comes to london, we’ll have a few beers and reminisce about our time under the dominican sun.

want another personal revelation – in this episode myles says he suspects that some of the women had been hurt before in relationships….namely, me. a few months before doing this show, i had had my heart broken by an evil male. and when you go through a breakup, you really start to question yourself. you suffer a drop in confidence, you kind of forget who you are and what your strengths are. doing this show forced me to remember my strengths, and it jump-started my healing process by forcing me to recognize all the things about myself that i like and that others respond to. so that was the greatest gift the show gave me, and i walked away from it 1000 times stronger than before.

and that evil male who broke my heart?

ha.

i can’t even remember what it was i loved about him now.

anyway, that final sacrifice was so hard for me. last night, every one in the club was yelling at me to stop crying. yes, i cried in almost every shot last night. seriously, i need to get my tear-ducts checked. even myles took his sacrifice better than i did. after myles left, the director called cut so we could set up the next shot, and Angela turned to me and said that i needed to get a grip and pull it together because “imagine how hard it is for them right now, and you’re bawling!” she was totally right, and i tried to put on a brave face.

but really, most days, i’m just a 13 year old girl, still struggling with the immediacy with life, wishing it all a dress rehearsal for a school play…and wanting to colour in my colouring books, roller blade through green parks, and hug my mummy.

as you can see, for gemma and myself, it was the toughest decision we made to vote for Ed and not G…. in the end, Ed had never given us any headaches. he never fought with us or with any of the men. he never engaged in any conspiracies, he always did what he was told, and he worked his ass off. so how could we fault a guy for doing exactly what we asked him to? but as Jonesy pointed out in the episode, Ed worked that hard because he wanted to. everything he did was on his terms. he wasn’t there to learn anything about women as rulers, because his main passion in life is the pursuit of money. he wanted £30,000, so he played the game consistently throughout in the pursuit of that.

if you go into my archives of february this year, when i returned from this experience, you’ll see what i have to say about that….namely that money does not determine what you’re worth as a person. money only provides you with expensive enough clothes to cover up the fact that you’re in love with a lie.

ed revealed to us the next day that he almost fainted in that final sacrifice. you can see him kinda fluttering on his feet. it really was a nerve-racking moment for him.

with G, he had made a significant journey, but was it lip service? since being back in london for the past 10 months, has he reverted back to his old ways? who knows. but he could have used £30,000 more than Ed…as could his son.

and with the revelation that Ed “respect us as people and as friends, rather than leaders...” oh boy did i give Ed a bollocking for that last night.

so Ed won, i cried and hugged G until my arms were sore….then we all hugged each other and cried all over the set. yadda yadda yadda.

we left the village that night. packed up our shit, threw it onto the back of a bus, and we never saw it again. it is my understanding that the village has been razed and turned back into jungle as it was before we were there.

we will never be there again.

on the bus ride back to the hotel, we all sang songs really loudly and kissed and hugged and laughed. then we had a massive party that lasted for 2 days on the hotel grounds. boy did the other tenants at the hotel hate us.

and 24 hours later, if you had asked the women if we made a mistake in choosing the winner, every single woman would have said yes.

i won’t go into details here, but a lot of shit went down and characters were revealed in those 3 days in the hotel before we flew back to london….and the women felt duped. really duped. not just by one person, but by everyone.

but to bring it back to the fun of it all – do you know how much shagging went down between the cast at the hotel? HOLY SHIT. i guess after a month of wet dreams and waking up with boners, they just couldn’t hold their wads anymore. hey, more power to ya! as long as everyone gets their jollies…

and since we came back to london, some of the cast have continued the shag-athon. if nothing else, at least most the cast used this show as an opportunity to get their kicks. of course i’m not gonna name names, but if i did, i think you’d be pleasantly surprised.

so that’s it, i guess!

if you have any questions, feel free to ask.

but for me, it’s time to go back to my life as a real person.

tomorrow i’m taking the train up to newcastle to spend the weekend with angela, and then on monday i start my walk across Hadrian’s Wall. it will take me about 5-7 days to walk from wallsend to bowness-on-solway, and i can’t wait.

there’s so much out there for this little canadian lass, and this tv show was just one mosaic in the tapestry i’m building for myself….onto other things. off to see the world. off to find passion and screaming matches and tears and fist fights and hard kisses and dancing feet and azure waters and glistening skin and toothy smiles and spilling stuff on my skirt and walking into walls and sticking my foot in my mouth and running until i run out of breath.

bring it on.

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2 responses

  1. Anonymous

    Hi Christine,Hope your well. First I would just like to tell you that you did a great job during your reign. I’m just a little curious, why do you feel like the girls final decision to choose Ed as the winner was a mistake? What happened at the hotel to second guess your almost unanimous vote? Do you think Miles should have won the money?

    October 25, 2008 at 3:59 AM

  2. David

    hello Christinewanted to say that for my opinion You ware the best queen. fair but strict. i live in Israel and just becouse of Your wonderful blog i found all episodes and download them. thank You !!about giving the price to Ed….wel it was the big question ; what You prefer a one that is already understand he’s “place’ or one who was the bad boy that being “surrender”. very hard one. think You ware chosing right.

    October 26, 2008 at 4:09 PM

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