u look like a perfect fit of a girl in need of a tourniquet, but can u save me from the ranks of the freaks who suspect they could never love anyone
alright munchkins, if you wanna hang out with the cast of WWRTW (and if you’re reading this blog, chances are, you do), come rock with us saturday, 8th of november at Carbon Nightclub. here are the details:
Old Quebec Street
party starts at 9pm and goes on until we get dragged out.
those of us in the cast are hosting the night – confirmed cast members are myself, Ed, G-Range, Richard, Fenton, Myles, Karen, Desrine, Mikey, Dan and rumoured to appear are Carolina, Angela, Gemma, Lesley, Steve, Nikky, Amaan, and Lianne.
This is a guest list event so if you’re interested in attending, email firstname.lastname@example.org with full names of guests.
Music will be House and RnB with a special guest set from Fenton on the night.
Dress Code – Dress to impress.
Assholes and whack-jobs need not attend, thanks.
Hope to see you there:)
here are some previously-unreleased photos from the show as well…most from my reign as queen:
since the show has ended, i think most of the cast are settling quite nicely back into their normal lives and are loving the quietness it brings.
me, i never stop running…
i went up to newcastle this past weekend to hang out with Angela and her little boy Cameron. we had the best time together – she took me to this old-timey town called Beamish with these 1910 shops and trolleys and schoolhouses and farms, it was so cool! then we got yummy indian take-out and played with cameron and saw the latest ricky gervais flick “ghost town” and had tapas and laughed and yapped and zoomed around newcastle and durham, it was a lovely weekend of just chillin’…the snaps to prove it –
anyhoo, the weekend of chillin’ was a good precursor to the week of extreme physical torture that is walking along Hadrian’s Wall…i walked from Wallsend to….well, i was aiming for Bowness-on-Solway, and i would have made it too! but somewhere in the Walton area, near the Lanercost Priory, just 9 miles from Carlisle, disaster struck.
i was walking through these beautiful farm pastures along the path, and the mud just grew thicker and thicker…until the mud won. in front of a herd of cows, i fell backwards into a massive pile of mud and cow shit and subsequently lost a boot. the mud was so deep it just sucked it down and when i turned around i couldn’t find it. my gear was damaged by the shit and mud and i had to drag it along (with one boot on and the other foot in just a sock) through the mud and shit to the nearest farm house a few hundred yards away.
to answer your question, yes. i was crying.
what else is new.
i had walked about 65 miles in 4 days, and i was doing so well. i was so happy on this walk as well, i had been singing loudly to my MP3 player (no one was around anyway, except for random farm animals who gave me quizzical looks), and i was so near the end! only 9 miles to carlisle! and then this happened. at first, i didn’t know if i’d be able to get up out of the mud. it was sucking me down. and my backpack was weighing me down as well. i started screaming at the cows for shitting everywhere, and as i was screaming at them, they were unabashedly shitting more. then i was screaming for help, but no one was around.
so i trudged in my socks and tears through the mud and water and shit to the farmhouse.
at first i didn’t think anyone was home, so i stripped down to my birthday suit right there in the middle of the road, took out some clean clothes from inside my backpack (that backpack is so durable, no mud seeped inside. i’ve had that backpack since 2005 and i’ve taken it around the world and back again…worth every penny) and changed. as soon as i was in non-shit-stained clothes, i felt better, and tried to find some inhabitants.
as i rounded the farm, i found a kindly elder woman named Joyce. I told her of my situation and she was instantly willing to help me out. what a doll she was!
get this – not only did she give me full usage of her place to clean off my shit in the hot water basin with soapy suds and scrubbers and stuff, but she also did my laundry! she took all my ruined clothes and fired up the washing machine. she then invited me into her warm house and served me tea and cakes! and let me use her shower! she gave me clean towels and soap and everything…then to top it off, she drove me to the nearest bus stop at Lanercost Priory so i could catch the bus to Carlisle.
how sweet is she!! i was taken aback by how helpful and sweet she was. i noticed along my walk that people up north are generally nicer than londoners. or big-city-people in general. i’ve lived in big cities all my life and i guess i’m used to the rudeness and crudeness of city living. so when i was on my walk, and people would stop to talk to me on the way….i was floored! people would say hi to me as i passed, talk pleasantly about the weather, and ask me how i’m doing and where i’m from, and yadda yadda yadda. it was so nice!
so even though my gear was now ruined by the fall and i wouldn’t be able to complete the final 9 miles to carlisle, Joyce made my day. she really did.
so when i got back to london last night (as soon as i arrived in carlisle, i ran to the train station and got on the last train to london with 10 minutes to spare), i sent Joyce a big bouquet of flowers with a big thank-you note. kindness like that should not go unrewarded. nor be forgotten.
anyhoo, here are all the photos from my 4 day extravaganza across Hadrian’s Wall. enjoy!
it was so fricken cold and windy – hence the sweater, two jackets, two pairs of mitts, canadian winter boots, a massive wooly scarf, and a triumphant thumbs-up. after a few minutes of walking while carrying your life on your back, it gets pretty fucking warm pretty quickly.
RANDOM AMY WINEHOUSE LYRICS-THAT-IMITATE-LIFE MOMENT!
END OF RANDOM AMY WINEHOUSE LYRICS-THAT-IMITATE-LIFE MOMENT!
so you can see the other hikers appearing at this spot. lots of people don’t walk the entire length like i did. they just start at the sections where the wall appears…so the paths in this section are much more developed and easier to traverse.
the great thing about being all by yourself when you do this walk is – as you’re listening to your MP3 player, you can sing along really loudly and no one will hear you or give you weird looks! except for the cows maybe, who were constantly giving me quizzical looks. i think at this point i was singing either chantal kreviazuk’s “before you“(<–click to watch!) or peaches' "fuck the pain away.” (<—click to listen at your own risk!) you know. whatevs…. hey kids! do you recognize this tree? it was the setting for a famous scene in a big hollywood movie!! recognize it??
what, don’t you guys ever watch kevin costner movies?
alright fine dammit, i’ll clue you in – it was featured in that shitty 1991 movie Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. remember that scene where robin teases azeem for almost being executed because of a woman and then that kid comes running up and hides in the tree and guy of gisborne tries to kill the kid and robin but robin beats them all up and guy of gisborne goes running and then robin yells at azeem for praying instead of helping him out and azeem tells him to shut the fuck up already….best scene ever.
by the way, hadrian’s wall is nowhere near nottingham forest.
ok, i can see you don’t remember the scene, so here’s the clip from that scene. fast forward to time index 3:00 to see the beginning of the scene in question. my favourite part is when morgan freeman goes, “you whine like a mule. you’re still alive!”
these next few shots are my favourites cuz they were taken around 8am when no one else was around and the sun was breaking over the hills and the wall…and i was singing loudly to hawksley workman’s “safe & sound.”(<–click to watch me singing like a douchebag) how beautiful is that? cannot quantify
i think i was singing adele’s “cold shoulder” at this point.
here woulda been duffy’s “stepping stone“
here, i woulda been singing a perfect circle’s “judith” and pretending that i’m paz lenchantin.
stupid moo-cows. these guys where blocking the route with their shit-smellin-foulness and their hay and their general moo-ness and they kept giving me weird looks. so i went around them and got shit and mud on my boots. jerkfaces.
of course, not to be forgotten, i also made 3 videos along the walk!
enjoy this first one was made at Housesteads on my 2nd day of walking, where i got my first glimpse of the wall….i didn’t anticipate how fucking windy it would be up there, so enjoy the subtitles!
this second video was taken on my 4th day of walking, a few hours before the cow-shit-mud incident. i was somewhere near an area called Banks, and overlooking these valley’s was incredible:
this final video is pretty cool, because the RAF were inexplicably performing training exercises right above Hadrian’s Wall. so every few minutes, the roar of the Mig engines above would shock you in your stride….and scare the cows..
the excitement hasn’t ended because i’m back from the wall…my old editor at Chart Magazine back home in toronto has assigned me to interview Lily Allen later next week. i’m really lucky he’s assigned me this because 2 months ago i was supposed to interview the killers and the kaiser chiefs but had to be hospitalized a few days before the scheduled interviews because of my stupid acute tonsilitus and glandular fever…stupid life-threatening glands! so of course, the interviews didn’t go forward. but i really like flexing my music-critic-muscles every now and then, keep them fired up. interviewing rockstars used to be a weekly occurence for me back in toronto, not so much here in london, so it’s good to keep your skills up.
and i think lily allen is really talented so this should be a fun interview. i’ll give you guys all the saucy details after the fact.
soon i’ll be back in toronto. this month will be the month of grieving, of saying goodbye, of giving homage.
can’t believe i’m leaving london.
someone tie me down.