"Blogging isn't journalism, it's graffiti with punctuation."

u look like a perfect fit of a girl in need of a tourniquet, but can u save me from the ranks of the freaks who suspect they could never love anyone

alright munchkins, if you wanna hang out with the cast of WWRTW (and if you’re reading this blog, chances are, you do), come rock with us saturday, 8th of november at Carbon Nightclub. here are the details:

Carbon Nightclub
Old Quebec Street
Marble Arch
West End
London
W1C 1LZ

party starts at 9pm and goes on until we get dragged out.

those of us in the cast are hosting the night – confirmed cast members are myself, Ed, G-Range, Richard, Fenton, Myles, Karen, Desrine, Mikey, Dan and rumoured to appear are Carolina, Angela, Gemma, Lesley, Steve, Nikky, Amaan, and Lianne.

This is a guest list event so if you’re interested in attending, email info@fentongee.com with full names of guests.

Music will be House and RnB with a special guest set from Fenton on the night.

Dress Code – Dress to impress.

Assholes and whack-jobs need not attend, thanks.

Hope to see you there:)

here are some previously-unreleased photos from the show as well…most from my reign as queen:


——

since the show has ended, i think most of the cast are settling quite nicely back into their normal lives and are loving the quietness it brings.

me, i never stop running…

i went up to newcastle this past weekend to hang out with Angela and her little boy Cameron. we had the best time together – she took me to this old-timey town called Beamish with these 1910 shops and trolleys and schoolhouses and farms, it was so cool! then we got yummy indian take-out and played with cameron and saw the latest ricky gervais flick “ghost town” and had tapas and laughed and yapped and zoomed around newcastle and durham, it was a lovely weekend of just chillin’…the snaps to prove it –

from l-r: omar, myself, mitch, cameron and angela having tapas and watching cameron destroy 3 balloons.

cameron makes a face.

then mummy makes the same.

i have so much respect for parents. i think i’ll be a good mum, but probably not for another 5-10 years. i can’t have a kid now…i don’t even have a dentist.

anyhoo, the weekend of chillin’ was a good precursor to the week of extreme physical torture that is walking along Hadrian’s Wall…i walked from Wallsend to….well, i was aiming for Bowness-on-Solway, and i would have made it too! but somewhere in the Walton area, near the Lanercost Priory, just 9 miles from Carlisle, disaster struck.

i was walking through these beautiful farm pastures along the path, and the mud just grew thicker and thicker…until the mud won. in front of a herd of cows, i fell backwards into a massive pile of mud and cow shit and subsequently lost a boot. the mud was so deep it just sucked it down and when i turned around i couldn’t find it. my gear was damaged by the shit and mud and i had to drag it along (with one boot on and the other foot in just a sock) through the mud and shit to the nearest farm house a few hundred yards away.

to answer your question, yes. i was crying.

what else is new.

i had walked about 65 miles in 4 days, and i was doing so well. i was so happy on this walk as well, i had been singing loudly to my MP3 player (no one was around anyway, except for random farm animals who gave me quizzical looks), and i was so near the end! only 9 miles to carlisle! and then this happened. at first, i didn’t know if i’d be able to get up out of the mud. it was sucking me down. and my backpack was weighing me down as well. i started screaming at the cows for shitting everywhere, and as i was screaming at them, they were unabashedly shitting more. then i was screaming for help, but no one was around.

so i trudged in my socks and tears through the mud and water and shit to the farmhouse.

at first i didn’t think anyone was home, so i stripped down to my birthday suit right there in the middle of the road, took out some clean clothes from inside my backpack (that backpack is so durable, no mud seeped inside. i’ve had that backpack since 2005 and i’ve taken it around the world and back again…worth every penny) and changed. as soon as i was in non-shit-stained clothes, i felt better, and tried to find some inhabitants.

as i rounded the farm, i found a kindly elder woman named Joyce. I told her of my situation and she was instantly willing to help me out. what a doll she was!

get this – not only did she give me full usage of her place to clean off my shit in the hot water basin with soapy suds and scrubbers and stuff, but she also did my laundry! she took all my ruined clothes and fired up the washing machine. she then invited me into her warm house and served me tea and cakes! and let me use her shower! she gave me clean towels and soap and everything…then to top it off, she drove me to the nearest bus stop at Lanercost Priory so i could catch the bus to Carlisle.

how sweet is she!! i was taken aback by how helpful and sweet she was. i noticed along my walk that people up north are generally nicer than londoners. or big-city-people in general. i’ve lived in big cities all my life and i guess i’m used to the rudeness and crudeness of city living. so when i was on my walk, and people would stop to talk to me on the way….i was floored! people would say hi to me as i passed, talk pleasantly about the weather, and ask me how i’m doing and where i’m from, and yadda yadda yadda. it was so nice!

so even though my gear was now ruined by the fall and i wouldn’t be able to complete the final 9 miles to carlisle, Joyce made my day. she really did.

so when i got back to london last night (as soon as i arrived in carlisle, i ran to the train station and got on the last train to london with 10 minutes to spare), i sent Joyce a big bouquet of flowers with a big thank-you note. kindness like that should not go unrewarded. nor be forgotten.

anyhoo, here are all the photos from my 4 day extravaganza across Hadrian’s Wall. enjoy!

i started my walk at wallsend, where it’s mostly green pastures and beautiful views of the english countryside

some of my mates have dubbed this photo a cross between National Geographic Traveller and Vice.

sheepies!

it was so fricken cold and windy – hence the sweater, two jackets, two pairs of mitts, canadian winter boots, a massive wooly scarf, and a triumphant thumbs-up. after a few minutes of walking while carrying your life on your back, it gets pretty fucking warm pretty quickly.

a beautiful lake colouring the path.

quiet pastures stretching out before you.

looking behind me.

oh the mud! this doesn’t even represent how much mud was yet to befall me. see these massive winter boots? i lost the right one in the aforementioned mud-cow-shit-water-farmhouse fiasco.

no one around for miles, just quiet fields.
i bet you could drop a dead body in there and no one would ever find it!

cold enough to pull a stupid face.

looking ahead of me, random english oak trees speckling the horizon.

i’m such a good photographer. seriously. i should put out a book.

alright you baaa-aaa-aad boy.

i stopped at a pub along the route to pee, and was so pleased with myself, i had to take a photo.

what are you looking at, sheeper?

oh don’t give me that look, mr moo

rolling hills.

so smiley and happy!

all the signs point off into the distance. hadrian’s wall path, thattaway.

i hope i don’t die on the path too.

after about 30 kilometres, and 8 hours of walking, i reach chollerford! holla!

i really like this shot too. a lone sheepy.

nothing but me and my shadow.

smiling on chesters bridge in chollerford.

that’s a nice shot too. see what i mean? i’m so awesome, it hurts.

self-explanatory.

sunset in the pastures.

i find a pub that rents rooms above the bar, and when open my door, i realize that my window overlooks the path…and the pastures stretch out beyond the glass.

RANDOM AMY WINEHOUSE LYRICS-THAT-IMITATE-LIFE MOMENT!

lick your lips

as i soak my feet

then you notice little carpet burn

my stomach drop and my guts churn


END OF RANDOM AMY WINEHOUSE LYRICS-THAT-IMITATE-LIFE MOMENT!

wake up in the morning, wondering where i am.

haha, i may be walking again, and my feet may hurt and my legs may ache….but there’s always time for the random pussy-licking shot!

hadrian’s wall! my first glimpse! i’m so excited!

i love how the wall stretches out into the distance and over the hills and disappears somewhere…

i’m standing on the wall! i’m rick james, bitch!

smiling on the wall. i’m so giggly at this moment, you would want to smack me.

look at the wall go! look at it!

somewhere it goes…somewhere becoming rain…

another great shot.

so you can see the other hikers appearing at this spot. lots of people don’t walk the entire length like i did. they just start at the sections where the wall appears…so the paths in this section are much more developed and easier to traverse.

random ruins thingy. loved it. you can see how the arch would have looked 2000 years ago.

kissing the wall…that’s right, it sexually excited me…got a problem?

keep walking along….keep heading west.

i loved running up and down the rolling hills.

speechless.

awww, bless.

the great thing about being all by yourself when you do this walk is – as you’re listening to your MP3 player, you can sing along really loudly and no one will hear you or give you weird looks! except for the cows maybe, who were constantly giving me quizzical looks. i think at this point i was singing either chantal kreviazuk’s “before you“(<–click to watch!) or peaches' "fuck the pain away.” (<—click to listen at your own risk!) you know. whatevs…. hey kids! do you recognize this tree? it was the setting for a famous scene in a big hollywood movie!! recognize it??

seriously, look closely…got it yet?

what, don’t you guys ever watch kevin costner movies?

alright fine dammit, i’ll clue you in – it was featured in that shitty 1991 movie Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. remember that scene where robin teases azeem for almost being executed because of a woman and then that kid comes running up and hides in the tree and guy of gisborne tries to kill the kid and robin but robin beats them all up and guy of gisborne goes running and then robin yells at azeem for praying instead of helping him out and azeem tells him to shut the fuck up already….best scene ever.

and it was shot here! i had no clue it was shot here until i wandered up to the area and recognized it. it was my favourite movie when i was a little girl, so these things kinda stick with you.

by the way, hadrian’s wall is nowhere near nottingham forest.


in front of the tree was this well that overlooked this valley. i remember the well in the scene as well, but i guess production dressed it up to make it look like it was useable…

i’m touching the kevin costner tree. i’m so cool, it hurts.

ok, i can see you don’t remember the scene, so here’s the clip from that scene. fast forward to time index 3:00 to see the beginning of the scene in question. my favourite part is when morgan freeman goes, “you whine like a mule. you’re still alive!”

big fat moo-cows. always in the way.

happy having found the kevin costner sycamore tree. yay!

day 3, i wake up in this really small town called Haltwhistle. it was so quaint and picturesque and 1900s…hadda take a shot.

purty.

it’s so 1900s! love.it.

back to the wall!

these next few shots are my favourites cuz they were taken around 8am when no one else was around and the sun was breaking over the hills and the wall…and i was singing loudly to hawksley workman’s “safe & sound.”(<–click to watch me singing like a douchebag) how beautiful is that? cannot quantify

the great thing about walking this early is that the frost on the ground hardened the mud so i wasn’t slippin’ n’ slidin’ all over the place.

happy enough to pull a velveeta peace sign.

keep heading west, estima.

and sing to yourself.

this is probably my favourite shot of the entire trip.

yeah, i hiked up all of that. i’m so hype.

yay!


leaning up against the wall that hadrian built.

i think i was singing adele’s “cold shoulder” at this point.

here woulda been duffy’s “stepping stone

aww, shucks. i look like g.i.jane.

here, i woulda been singing a perfect circle’s “judith” and pretending that i’m paz lenchantin.
stupid moo-cows. these guys where blocking the route with their shit-smellin-foulness and their hay and their general moo-ness and they kept giving me weird looks. so i went around them and got shit and mud on my boots. jerkfaces.

on my fourth day of walking, somwhere outside birdoswald, i came across this bridge and stream…and that was to be the final photo before my cow-shit-mud fiasco. sadness! but beautiful final shot!

of course, not to be forgotten, i also made 3 videos along the walk!

enjoy this first one was made at Housesteads on my 2nd day of walking, where i got my first glimpse of the wall….i didn’t anticipate how fucking windy it would be up there, so enjoy the subtitles!

this second video was taken on my 4th day of walking, a few hours before the cow-shit-mud incident. i was somewhere near an area called Banks, and overlooking these valley’s was incredible:

this final video is pretty cool, because the RAF were inexplicably performing training exercises right above Hadrian’s Wall. so every few minutes, the roar of the Mig engines above would shock you in your stride….and scare the cows..

the excitement hasn’t ended because i’m back from the wall…my old editor at Chart Magazine back home in toronto has assigned me to interview Lily Allen later next week. i’m really lucky he’s assigned me this because 2 months ago i was supposed to interview the killers and the kaiser chiefs but had to be hospitalized a few days before the scheduled interviews because of my stupid acute tonsilitus and glandular fever…stupid life-threatening glands! so of course, the interviews didn’t go forward. but i really like flexing my music-critic-muscles every now and then, keep them fired up. interviewing rockstars used to be a weekly occurence for me back in toronto, not so much here in london, so it’s good to keep your skills up.

and i think lily allen is really talented so this should be a fun interview. i’ll give you guys all the saucy details after the fact.

soon i’ll be back in toronto. this month will be the month of grieving, of saying goodbye, of giving homage.

can’t believe i’m leaving london.

someone tie me down.

2 responses

  1. Anonymous

    I’ll tie you down girlie!!! C xx

    November 3, 2008 at 3:35 PM

  2. Pingback: Hadrian!! «

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