"Blogging isn't journalism, it's graffiti with punctuation."

i’ll carry you in my arms, the kiss of the snow, the crescent moon above us, our blood is cold and we’re alone, but I’m alone with you

calgary was a cornucopia of stetsons and old spice, belt buckles and amazing bootsbucking horses and bulls, cattle roping, chuckwagon races, alberta beef steak houses galore, pro-lifers, stephen harper flipping pancakes, obesity gone mad, the bible belt, hail storms, a lot of upset Dutch fans, and cowboys as far as the eye could see…. no that wasn’t the Stampede, that was my hotel room past midnight. YEE HAW.

 amber and i posing in all our cowgirl gear
calgary is bigger than edmonton, over 1 million people live there, but still, it was like a ghost town. people told us that if it weren’t for the Stampede, the streets would be even emptier than they were. things were quite creepy for an olympic town.
we were really excited for Ok Go, not so much for Theory of  a Deadman (ew, toad). later days boasted Barenaked Ladies and One Republic
these boots were NOT made for walking
music makes the world go round indeed.
i want the guy in blue on the left so bad. so fucking bad!
these guys, not so much
the one and only veggie-vegan resto in all of calgary. the rest of the city was Roast Moose or Seared Bison or Buffalo Testicles
amber had the tofu scramble with hash, raspberry compote and ancient grains toast
i had the quinoa granola with almond milk, raspberry compte, an organic banana and a side of crunchy peanut butter!
oh and some crispy tofu squares…..nom nom nom!
oh yeah, we’re definitely in Alberta now. can’t ya feel it?
ok, her i agree with, actually.
true dat
sophia le fevre and i are good friends, according to imdb. lies. all lies.
i love mounted men.
you heard me.
a few rodeo videos!
we didn’t pay for calgary transit once all weekend. no one fucking checks to see if you have tickets, you can wander right on the thing. silly fat alberta. seriously, how does this thing function?
that baby behind my head is freaking me outttttttttttt.
i love this photo. amber looks gorges and i look so relaxed for once. and we match!
so many dutch fans in orange. they knew they were going down, and still showed their silly wooden clogged faces.
after Spain won, their goalkeeper was interviewed by his girlfriend who is a reporter. he choked up when talking about his mother and father. then this happened. makes me cry every time.
canada olympic park, where the 88′ olympics took place. we had planned to do some zip lining, some wall climbing and some z-tripping whilst there….
and then the real alberta showed up.
it’s july! and it’s hailing!
a pair of lugers.
*   *   *   
i’ve been back for 3 days and i’m still really jetlagged. i’ve done so much travelling in the past month – vancouver, whistler, nanaimo, victoria, new york, brooklyn, and calgary. my body ain’t taking that shit. but hanging with amber was great, it totally strengthened our friendship. since the hail and cold weather ruined our last day in calgary, we ended up spending the day running in and out of doorways, trying to stay warm. without anything to really occupy our time, except each other, we somehow made it work. very few people in life you can do that with. after a few days, sometimes you need your space and getaway from people. we didn’t really need that. she’s a great, compassionate gal, and full of funny stories and we had such a laugh. whenever the shit hit the fan (and oh god did it ever!), we somehow turned it into a giggle.
i’ve never laughed so hard before at some of the silliest things (“cheadle butte belgians” is now our inside joke…you hadda be there)
my overall impression of calgary, i have to say, isn’t the greatest. the people at the hotel were dicks, every meal i ordered had to be sent back or altered for one reason or another, and the weather was just fucking redonkulous for july. HAIL. considering that it was a free trip (more people should win contests), i couldn’t officially complain (but i did when we were supposed to receive a few things as part of the contest and then didn’t. i mean, wtf? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ALBERTA?) does nothing function properly outside of toronto?
on the whole, i think the people aren’t that different from big city people, except for minute differences. we’re all canadian, we’re all on the same side. and calgary is a nice place to visit, but i sure as hell wouldn’t want to live there ever. EVER.
now that i’ve sufficiently insulted everyone from the prairies….
i was rereading some archived entries of this blog yesterday. specifically from april 2007 when i had been living in london for a mere 4 months and was still exploring everything….i was creative with my words, excited about the world around me, and everything i blogged about was loaded with meaning and full of fire. it was a brilliant time in my life and i was a much better blogger back then, i think.
i don’t know what kind of blogger i am now. it’s like after 5 years of ejaculating my neuroses into this blog, i’m not sure of what to say anymore. do i still have any kind of insight into my life? 
 specifically, i’ve begun to censor myself.  whereas back, then i just said it all.
now because my mum reads this blog AND WON’T FRICKEN STOP (yes joan i’m looking at you), and because all sorts of people in the “business,” all kinds of friends, and all kinds of past-relationship-type-people read this blog, i feel like i can’t say anything about anything really. like if i say something about myself, people either think i’m vacuous and vain (like someone recently said all over my facebook wall), or people think i’m a slut (like so many pervy guys message me from here, actually believing i’d sleep with anything with a cock…. or how half the google hits that lead to this blog are “christine estima naked” and i’ve never even been naked on here!), or people think they actually know something deep and profound about me (this is a blogging persona, people. if you know anything about me, it’s because i’ve allowed you to know it. and it may even be total fibs. the power of blogtatorships).
so i’m not sure what to do with this space at the moment. i need to revamp my writing/photo/blogging style.
i need to makeover things in my life too. it’s the pushing-30-crisis.
expect some delays
(although blogging is quite addictive, so i doubt i’ll be gone for long)

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