Why I’m not in Germany anymore…
After my last post where I mentioned being homeless and a waif, I got quite a few private messages from you, my munchkins. It’s been about four months now, and I haven’t really talked about why I’m not in Germany anymore. In fact, most of my friends didn’t even know I had left until weeks (and for some, months) after the fact.
Truth be told, I couldn’t talk about it.
I figured the only kind of catharsis I could afford was to stand up in front of a bunch of strangers and tell my story. So I did that a few weeks ago at Spark London, a live storytelling event in London. All the stories are true and told without notes. So, the above video is my true story.
I posted this on Facebook the day after the event, and the outpouring of comments and private messages from people on there was so supportive and heartwarming to affirming. Here’s a cross section:
-“I just watched the video. Then wept.”
-“your video really moved me. i watched it three times and it made me cry. you are such a brave woman.”
-“I watched your video. it was artful and cathartic…you are honest, and blunt as hell. and have fire and i like it.”
-“I’ve watched your video a couple of times and it really moved me. You are wonderful and brave…You have a lovely soul, which was visible when you bared it. Xx”
-“I just watched your video and while I knew so much of that I’m sitting on a bus, bawling.”
-“OH MY goodness. I just watched this piece you performed and it made me cry. I bet tons of people have said that. I don’t have the words to express how much empathy, anger, compassion, sadness and love that I feel for you but also for everyone who has gone through something like this – it’s so universal….just watched it again and now I’m in tears AGAIN..”
-“It may not be much of a concillation, but you are a brilliant storyteller, and we’re all very lucky to be able to hear your stories.”
-“Just wanted to say that killed me and I’m bawling at 9:45 on a Wednesday. You’re a gift to art.”
-“Oh, sniffles, your video is amazing. I don’t know how you told your story with an even voice. You’re incredible.”
-“That was amazingly profound. I am Verklempt.”
-“you are a good one, Estima.”
-“good for you for recognizing a situation that was wrong for you. Many wouldn’t have the strength to leave.”
-“your video shook me and awoke a memory in me I thought I’d long ago purged. I’m ok knowing there’s still peace to come.”
I feel like a digital age Blanche Dubois, in that, I’ve always depended on the kindness of random internet followers;)
I’m okay now. I’ve been okay since I did this event. It’s like I let it go. I’ve moved on and I’m so happy now. My life is so charmed and wonderful, and I’ll never let someone make me feel anything less than wonderful again.
And besides, I’m living here!
So I can’t officially complain.
Anyway, the lesson herein is this:
Live a life that you’re proud of. And if you find that you’re not, find the strength to start over again.