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acting

Video: Watch me perform @RaconteursTO!

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Recently I performed at Raconteurs, a live storytelling event that happens monthly here in Toronto. I’ve performed at Raconteurs before, and as many of you know, lots of other Spoken Word events around the world like The Moth, Spark London, GRTTWaK, and Pressgang. I feel like these events bridge a nice gap between writing and performance. I don’t like to act much, I prefer to be vulnerable on the page, rather than on the stage, but Spoken Word and Live Storytelling are a nice way to meld the two.

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I told a story about trying to become the Canadian Amélie with a little help from the Bunz Trading Zone. It’s a crazy story of trying to connect with other people — complete strangers, really — and all the foibles and follies therein. You can watch it below! Enjoy!

In this new year, I have lots of things on my plate! So many upcoming publications, performances, and more! I can’t wait to share the news with you. Even though 2016 was a dumpster fire for everyone, I made some huge advances in my career and I’m so pleased with the direction in which everything is going. Small positive steps everyday lead to big things!

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Also, I have a new adventure on the horizon! On Valentine’s Day, I head to Helsingborg, Sweden for the first time! I’ve never been (even though I lived in Europe for years and years), so when a housesitting opportunity arose, so I had to take it. After Sweden, I’ll be swinging through London, Brussels, and Amsterdam to visit my friends (and celebrate my birfday! What a crazy 3 weeks this is going to be….), so if you’re in Helsingborg and want to show this wee Canadian lass around, hit me up!

As always, don’t forget to check out Christine Estima dot CALM (har har) to read all of my published articles, watch my performances, and check out my media coverage.

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Check out my @VICE interview with #TIFF16 film director Alice Lowe

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The Toronto International Film Festival was amazing this year, I saw so many films (as documented by this round-up I wrote for VICE last week), and the fest is always such an electric time to be on the streets of Toronto. Everything is alive.

Speaking of life, the film PREVENGE is about a pregnant woman whose fetus tells her to kill people. So OF COURSE I had to interview the director/writer/performer Alice Lowe. Check out what she had to tell me about women in the film industry and pregnancy stigmas over here on VICE.

Fun fact: I had first seen Alice Lowe in an episode of Sherlock (season 3 episode “Sign of Three“) and the whole time we were talking, her voice was just reminding me of one of her lines from Sherlock, “A GHOST, MR HOLMES!” and then a drunk Watson saying to her, “He’s clueing for looks.”

I am a gigantic nerd.

Check out the official Christine Estima dot com for more of my VICE essays and articles, and much more.

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Red Shoe Diaries: watch my @GRTTWaK live performance! #GRTTWaK

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Last week I was fortunate enough to perform at Grownups Read Things They Wrote as Kids, which is exactly what it sounds like. Diaries, letters, poems, stories, you name it… if it’s cringeworthy or bittersweet, they want it. And lemme tell ya, I GOTS IT. I read a diary entry from 20 years ago, written after I had just seen the soft-core film Red Shoe Diaries and it had blowwwwn my miiiiiind, maaaaaan. What followed can only be described as a brainjaculation.

You can watch my cringeworthy reading below. I hope you enjoy what a ding-dong I am.

Also, I just got word from the show’s producers that my reading has been included in their podcast! You can subscribe to their podcast on iTunes (like I have been for months!). But if not, you can listen to my specific episode here and fast forward to time index 20:30.

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As many of you know, I have performed at a lot of live storytelling/Spoken Word events, and I really love doing it. It blends my two favourite things in life: storytelling, and being a ham. I’ve performed at The Moth in NYC (watch my performance here), Spark London in the UK (watch here), and Raconteurs (watchy watch). Each time it’s different and new and ephemeral, so I highly recommend you come out to an event if you haven’t already. This GRTTWaK event was SOLD OUT and packed, which made for such a great atmosphere on stage!

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Shout out to Dan and Jenna for having me! And expect more live-storytelling performances in the future.

Don’t forget to check out the official Christine Estima dot com for more of my live performances and publications and more.

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Defiance

Last month I performed at Raconteurs here in Toronto. Raconteurs is just like The Moth or Spark London, both of which I have performed at before. Live storytelling, and spoken word, my friends. Get on it.

I had suggested to the organizer that we try the theme Defiance, so of course I made sure I was one of the speakers. My story basically was the inspiration for this VICE article that I sold that last month.

Fanks for supporting my Spoken Word endeavours over the years, munchkins.

Want more? Here’s my Moth StorySlam piece that has garnered over 700 views in just one week!


Confessions of a Reality TV Whore: A Cautionary Tale

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Check out my latest essay in VICE, about the clusterfuck that is reality TV, and how I shit-talked my way onto not one, but two of ’em. Click the above image or click here to read.

If you missed it, here’s my VICE essay from last week about my bushy fucking demon-eyebrows.

Like last week, my essay is one of the most popular on the Vice network.

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Fanks for reading, munchkins!


Storytelling in the Spotlight

A couple nights ago, I took to the stage at Raconteurs, a live storytelling/spoken word event here in Toronto. Many of you will remember when I performed at Spark London in the UK two or three times. Since then, I developed a taste for live storytelling, probably because it feeds into my need to be a ham, and talk about myself. Womp womp.

Last month, I performed at The Moth in New York City. That experience was probably the most exhilaration storytelling event of my life. There was easily 400 people in the crowd, and the massive standing-O and cheerful roar of applause after I was done was so galvanizing and fulfilling. They’re sending me the video footage of that night, and soon Raconteurs will upload the footage of my story to their YouTube. so stay tuned, munchkins. I hope to do Spark London, The Moth, and Raconteurs again. I listen to all of their podcasts, and am glad to be featured on there too!

Live storytelling feels like an obvious step in my evolution. I double-majored Theatre and Creative Writing for my undergraduate degree. Live storytelling combines them both, you get the performative aspects and the audience pay-off, but also you get to employ the nuances of language and creative non-fiction. I can pretend I’m one of those actor-writer types like Ethan Hawke (who has also performed at The Moth, fyi).

Expect to see more of me on the storytelling stage, my dudes. Dudebros. Brojangles.

Okay I’ll stop now.

Photography by 1nspireinc


Leaving Las London

In two days, on May 1st, I am leaving London permanently. I’ve been living here on-and-off for the past seven years, and it’s finally time to move on. I will spend a couple days in my old stompin’ grounds of Brussels (SO EXCITED) and Amsterdam (ZOMG), and then will spend about a month in Copenhagen before settling in Berlin in June. This route is almost the EXACT same route I took in 2006 when I was backpacking around Europe (I’m skipping Luxembourg… because, ew).

Anyway, I’ve had quite the journey here in London in the last year, and here are my greatest hits! These are experiences that I couldn’t have had anywhere else in the world. They are unique to London, are very London-centric, and I am all the more richer for having been a part of them:

#1 Obviously, being cast in a TV show

I beat out over 14,000 other applicants from across the UK to appear in the massively-popular documentary series First Dates on Channel 4. I was featured in the premiere episode which millions of people tuned in to see, and was also in the commercial advert for the show:

Read my blog post about my experience here!

But here’s something I haven’t really talked about on here… I was cast in a movie too. I can’t give you any details, but here’s a jolly photograph of me in full costume.

I had to sit in the makeup chair every day for an hour. That’s not a wig, it’s my hair. They curled it, teased it, sprayed it and pinned it, and then had to stitch that hat to my hair. Also, I had to be sewn into that dress. 16th century MADNESS.

When it comes out next year, I’ll let you know.

#2 Getting to climb atop the O2 Arena for free and singing Christmas carols with an entire choir at the summit!

Normally, the “Up at the O2” climb is a pretty expensive adventure activity, but I was asked to do it by the organizers of a social media website, so I got to climb to the summit for free!  And the view of London from up there was spectacular! I felt like I was had literally just climbed on top of the world. I had to look down to see heaven. Read my blog post about that experience here!

#3 Speaking at the inaugural Best of Spark London live-storytelling event


(Up on stage at Spark London! I’m 3rd from the right.)

I was invited by the organizers of Spark London, a weekly event here in London where people tell true stories live in front of an audience, to speak at their very first Best of Spark London event! It was a huge honour and I was so glad to take part! You can listen to my story on their podcast of the night here. I’m the first speaker in the podcast, so you don’t have to scroll through the audio to find me! You can read my blog post about that event here.

#4 Seeing the London Symphony Orchestra perform live at Royal Albert Hall on New Years!

The Artist Live in Concert at Royal Albert Hall, performed by the London Symphony Orchestra from christine estima on Vimeo.

I won a contest (huzzah!), and was treated to tickets to see the amazing London Symphony Orchestra in concert as they performed the soundtrack to The Artist live as the film played in the background at the sumptuously-ornate institution of the Royal Albert Hall. Oh the things I get to do for free…. That crossed off three things on my bucket list: seeing the LSO in concert, attending a performance at the RAH, and doing something spectacular in London for New Years! Read my blog post about that incomparable experience here.

#5 Participating in the Inside/Out Project at Somerset House, and meeting street-art-superstar JR!

As you all know by now, street art is MY JAM. I love that shit. I eat that shit up. And I’ve been photographing the work of French artist-superstar JR for years around the world with his Inside-Out Project. So when I heard it was coming to Somerset House, I had to take part! I stood in line for 2 hours to get my photo taken, and it was then pasted down on the Somerset House grounds. When I noticed JR just chilling nearby, I went over, and we had a lovely chat. He was totally humble and cool!

Read my blog post about that experience here!

#6 Dining at the super-secret Gingerline nomadic restaurant!

Here’s something I haven’t talked about at all on here, because Gingerline is SO SUPER SECRETIVE that they ban you from talking about it on social media for at least a month after you have attended the experience. Well, I attended the Gingerline in February, so I think I’m good to go now.

So, last year I read on Londonist.com about the Gingerline, a dining experience that is so secretive, you don’t even really know what you get for the ticket price. All I knew was that they were fully booked for months, so I bought my ticket FIVE MONTHS in advance!

Here’s how it works: You buy a ticket, not knowing where the restaurant is or what you will experience when you get there. On the night of the event around 6pm, you have to make sure you are at one of the stations on the London Overground line (the name “Gingerline” refers to the Overground, as it is coloured ginger on the tube map). At 6pm, and not a minute before, they text you the location of the event. You have exactly one hour to hop on the Overground and get to the location, as they lock the doors at 7pm!

I got there on time, and this is what I walked in to…


This basement in a non-descript empty building in the Haggerston area had been transformed into a spaceship with super-sexy-1960s flight attendants with ginger hair from the planet Gingerline!

ZOMG BRAIN-SPLOSION.

There was a huge piece of ginger root in that centre display there. APROPOS.


My table looked like a Star Trek console!


Torture chamber?


Nah, it’s where the flight attendants would inject you with ALCOHOL.


TV panels advised us of our “flight status” and ‘takeoff’ and “landing” hahahah.


They handed us our meals through the port-holes above our heads!


Here was the awesome menu!


And of course, the whole experience had to be seen through 3D glasses.


I met some awesome people there too!


This was their take on the in-flight safety manual!

LOL at “interphalangial.”


Of course we started a conga-line… which involved a lot of “slut-dropping.” If you don’t know what a “slut-drop” is … just … never you mind.


You go girl.


The artificial gravity unit was operational for me, thank fuck.


Yes, Intergalactic Ginger Mom.

Anyway, it was a great experience, and even though the tickets were £50, which is really too rich for my blood (and out of my budget, ahh!), I decided that even poor lasses like me deserve some kind of quality of life. So this was my one and only splurge for February. I can live with that, and I feel like I got my money’s worth! Highly-recommended if you love the thrill of a surprise!

So there you have it, munchkins! My wonderful life in London is coming to a close, but I know that my adventures in Copenhagen and Berlin will be just as wonderful and splendid and exciting. Because life is unpredictable . . . and I wouldn’t have it any other way. There are so many reasons to love London, but life is too short to spend it all in one place.

As one last parting glance at my London home, here is a short film that I made about London’s thrilling street art and graffiti scene.

Onward ho!

Goodbye London.

I hope I never fucking see you again.


#FirstDates: That’s a wrap!


As I previously blogged, the second season of First Dates has come to an end, and the entire cast was on hand this past weekend to celebrate it in full-London style at Café de Paris in the heart of Piccadilly Circus. It was such a trip to have been cast in this television show. I found out recently that over 14,000 people applied to be on the show this year, and I was one of 50-some-odd people to make the final cast. That really is humbling. And also, a small source of pride:)

Here are some photos of me bonding with the rest of the cast from the omni-shambolic clusterfuck that was the all-night Wrap Party! In the above photo, it’s me and my harem of bearded men. Jonathan, Ralph, my date Paul, and Steve. I’m sure all of you have already seen my episode (the premiere episode, of course!), but if you want to see the rest of the series starring these lovely lads, be sure to watch them on 4oD!

Me and date Paul. You see, people? Despite what some audiences thought when they watched our date, Paul and I actually got on like gang-busters. We are great mates and we have nothing but love and high-fives for each other. I’m not gonna lie, throughout the wrap party, there may or may not have been some crotch-grabbing on our parts. YOU HEARD ME.

Of course, it wouldn’t have been a party unless Paul and Steve rubbed their beards ALL UP IN MY GRILL.

Here’s Mo (who was also in the premiere episode with me) and Corinne, who was featured in 3 episodes and, memorably, was reduced to tears by the infamous Rajan. Mo is such a great guy, we had such a great time getting to know each other at the party. We’re both Middle Eastern so having this experience was important to us, to show that not all Arabs are terrorists! We can be LUVAS too, ya know. As for Corinne, there was a bit of drama at the party, which I won’t get into here, so that’s probably why in this and the below photo, she’s pulling quite odd and awkward faces.

Uh…. yeah.


Back to the party! There’s Chloe, who also was featured in the premiere episode with me. Remember her dog Bentley? Aw bless. The doggie stole the show.


And there’s Saniya. Who could ever forget her hilarious comment about Mo and, uh, spaghetti. I’m still not sure I understand it.

SNOGGING STEVE. My life is complete.

Sarah Jayne, as you’ll remember from the First Dates commercial, was looking for her Prince Charming. Jonathan, the Alan Carr doppleganger, was on the hunt for a more ‘seasoned’ lady. They were such fun at the party 🙂

And that’s a wrap, people! Thank you for watching and for your support! It was quite  an unforgettable experience, and it reminded me that life is always full of surprises, as long as you keep allowing them in. There is never, ever, any excuse in this life to be bored. This chapter is closed. Onto the next!

And let me tell you, from what I’ve got planned, the next chapter in my life is going to be something else.

Just you wait.


BIG NEWS: Watch me in an episode of Channel 4’s #FirstDates !

I’ve been sitting on this news since OCTOBER you guys. I’ve hinted at it in the past, but couldn’t say a word until now. I was selected to appear in an episode of Channel 4’s documentary series First Dates, a fly-on-the-wall documentary show about singletons going on first dates in London. They’ve featured me in the commercial advertising the show, which you can watch above.

My episode, where I went on a lovely date with Paul, will air this Wednesday, February 12th at 10pm on Channel 4 in the UK and Ireland. After, it will be available to watch online on 4oD. I’m afraid it won’t be broadcast internationally, nor is 4oD available internationally, so unless someone uploads a torrent of this, you won’t be able to watch it unless you live in the UK or Ireland. But hopefully a bunch of my British munchkins will watch and enjoy and share!

EDIT: They’ve also uploaded my “dating profile” to the First Dates website, check me out here!

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Since the commercial started airing, I’ve been inundated with messages from people asking, “Did I just see you in a commercial for First Dates on Channel 4?!”

Haha! It’s nice to know that even though I have 2 seconds of air-time in this commercial, I’m instantly recognizable . . . The Canadian accent must be the give-away.

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I’m really excited about this because I feel like I’m starting 2014 off right. First, I am invited to lecture at an academic conference, then I am invited to do a spoken word performance at Spark London (which you can listen to here on their podcast, I’m the first performer on it!) and now I’m featured on a brilliant documentary series about love.

That’s what I love about life: it is always exquisitely unpredictable, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

There are no rules to this thing, go out there and live your life, make it your own, fill it with adventure and extraordinary experiences until it’s bursting at the seams, and never look back.

Onward and upward!


a massive erection


golden globes, sag awards, oscars… it will never end. if celebrities stop publicly congratulating each other, then the earth wins.

now let’s take a solemn moment to remember some of the stars of showbiz who sadly ARE STILL WITH US.

… and the award for special effects goes to the team behind Stephen Harper’s smile.


talk qwerty to me

welcome! i have found another way to waste time. huzzah!

now i’m the most wordpressiest wordpresser who ever wordpressed.

i use wordpress at work all day long, so there are many features i’m already acquainted with, but for the most part, i’m confused by it. Blogger is more user-friendly….in that, it’s idiot-proof. works well for a nOOb like me.

i will keep my old blogger up, so that people who have outdated links will find their way here. also, even though i imported all of my archives to wordpress, the import has caused them to double up (raymi has the same issue with her archives), so it’s a bit messy, with wonky formatting.

i used to redesign my blog once a year, but my previous purple design has been up since 2008. so i was overdue for a change. i have pretty much all of my old features up here. if you’re looking for the blogroll, it’s located in the links tab up above. my bio, my writing portfolio, my media coverage, it’s all pretty much here….just needs a bit of a clean up.

i don’t like the photo uploader wordpress has. i can upload several photos at once, no problem, BUT for whatever reason, i can only embed them in the post ONE AT A TIME. zomg pain in the ass, way to kibosh my wordpress-buzz.

so until someone tells me how to get around that, i’m going to continue to upload photos to picasa and just embed the links here.

thoughts, comments, and tips for improvement are all very welcome, as everything you see on this site at present was designed solely by me, and i barely know what i’m doing.

also, i’ve activated my domain email address -> christine@christineestima.com

dunno why i never activated it before, it came with the domain i bought.

prince wills and kate were hanging around “queen” and spadina (how apropos).

back off bitch, he’s mine.

what a similar photo. reg can be my kate middleton.

this was taken at Foursquare Day festivities . . . some sweet gifts were handed out, one being a hot red protective holder for my blackberry, it was pretty sweet, seeing as how i need one and didn’t even hafta pay for it. then later, i won a gift certificate to the sewing studio, which i’d never heard of before, but hey, i have some skirts that need hemming, might be fun to try it out. i’m holding up my winnings above with zach, reg, tony, sacha, john, and lauren‘s boyfriend whats-his-name.

 

oh good gawd. when horses are this lame, they shoot ’em.

i’m a chris,  he’s a chris . . . it’s chris squared.

brennan is the king of cool

i was trynna pull a geordie laforge here, i don’t think it quite worked

like glamour shots

was interviewed about my foursquare activities for a yet-to-be-seen vid. i look like a snobby venomous cunt in this shot, but trust me, i was adorable in the video.

i voted today at an advance polling station. since today is a holiday, i knew i’d have the time. may 2nd is a work day and i’ll probably be too whipped to make it out to the polling station. i arrived at the voting booth located in a catholic school, only to realize i wasn’t wearing a bra.

see! voting is sexy.

most torontonians are hearing about bullet for adolf now, a new play written and directed by woody harrelson that he’s premiering exclusively here, and not at some big monster theatre either, but at unassuming hart house. i knew about it way back in january when they announced that they were only casting non-union non-equity actors. i figured i might as well submit, didn’t get asked in for an audition, but considering the way i look and what they were looking for, i kinda understand why.

it’s produced by a couple friends of mine, and the entire cast is on my facebook. in addition, i attended this is our youth a bajillion years ago when woody harrelson directed it at canstage. i knew he was a great director, but i didn’t know what his writing skills were like….all of this compounded in my absolute NEED to see this play.

i bought my ticket well over a month ago, way before all these chumps now clamouring for tickets. i paid full price, and of course now, all the discounts for arts workers (me), tweeple (me), facebook friends (me) are coming out. pfft. whatever. i’m over it. booking so far in advance scored a wicked seat. row A seat 13..AKA FRONT ROW CENTRE. lots of leg room, no one’s head in my way, unobstructed view, felt like i was in the action.

i put a stupid little copyright on these photos, just in case anyone felt like stealing. anyway, the play was really funny! i was surprised, it was really well written, go harrelson. although it’s not the greatest piece of comedic theatre i’ve ever seen, i was humbly impressed, and i was actually expecting the worst. i think what made this play was the performances. specifically, i was blown away by david coomber as “clint” and billy petrovski as “dago czech.” brandon coffey was also note-perfect as woody’s alter ego “zack.” but specifically david coomber was a talent that i was not expecting. he was absolutely flawless, impeccable comic timing, acting chops like i’ve never seen. mark my words people, that dude is going places.

during intermission, an equity actress made a flippant remark about non-union talent that was so typical of the industry. she said that essentially she was shocked non-union actors were so good. stupid thing to say. you can’t measure talent like that. besides, paris hilton is a union actress .  . . remember that next time, will ya, when ya wanna shoot your mouth off.

the play started with woody harrelson popping up over the speaker and telling us to turn off our cells. cute. and away we go. the play weaves theatre with film sequences and 1980s nostalgia. it’s essentially a retelling (with bits embellished here and there) of woody’s time in texas working construction, the friends he made, the racial binds that gripped the time, and a really cool old german guy with a gun.

some of the best lines were about child molestation (‘sexy kids’) and about abstract art (“it’s someone’s lack of imagination asking you to apply your own.”)

it’s about love, it’s about life lessons, it’s about friendship, and it’s just a hella-funny story.

there was a talkback after the show, where woody and the cast answered questions from the audience. here woody is saying “thanks fer comin’, tell yurr friends!” in his thick southern drawl. woody loves toronto, he’s here all the fricken time, so i don’t think torontonians are particularly starstruck by the sight of him anymore. he does yoga shows here, he does vegan events, pot events, and like i said before, plays. toronto is the kind of place where celebs come because they don’t really get hassled here. we’re too polite to try to chat up a movie god. either that, or we just don’t care.

anyway, you should go see this play!

there were lots of celebs and media and notables in the industry the night i went, so surely it will be like that all through the run.

layne’s in town for a month. we’ve managed to hang out twice so far, and it’s always like we pick up where we left off. we try to stay in pretty constant contact over email anyway, so it’s easy to always launch right back into things. but it’s hard having a best friend live on the other side of the country. hell, i moved to london, then he moved to the land that time forgot (aka sasquatchenon aka saskatchewan). long distance friendships take effort, and we do our best. last night we had dinner at queen mother, then walked over to canstage to see the cosmonauts last message to the woman he once loved in the former soviet union (fanks ashley for tickets!)

that title is asking a lot from an audience, i think.

anyway, some of the cast members are my friends, so i was excited to see it. layne had sat in on the auditions last year and had read with the actors, so he sorta knew what the play was about.

it was . . . interesting.

how to sugar coat this?

it touched on some interesting notions of longing and technology and relationships . . . at least, i think.

sigh. it was bad. it was just bad. the first act was like watching paint dry, the second act picked up a bit in steam, but it was terribly flat like gwyneth paltrow’s singing voice.

i mean, raoul was great, but raoul’s always great. he’s an actor you can bank on. it was just surprising, seeing as how canstage’s season this year has been STELLAR. from fernando krapp, to the andersen project, to studies in motion, to the middle place, i have been consistently impressed with matthew jocelyn‘s choices.

now, not so much.

i hate saying this cuz i’m always encouraging people to see more theatre. but i suppose in order to know what good theatre is, you have to see a lot of bad theatre.


this was written on the wall at work. it accurately describes the content that i’m writing, the audience who reads it, and basically, myself. totally femmebitious fembot….i’m eFEMMEral (see what i did there?)

i’m so femmebitious that i’m the last one to leave the office every night. once i locked up at 9:30pm. i’ve only been there two weeks, but i’m really busting my hump, i want to learn everything, and i feel like my perfectionism is holding me back. i need to write more content in a day, but i keep lingering over phrases and words and sentence structure, i can’t just let things go.

the office already presented me with my business cards, which was pretty nifty. i’ve been to a couple events already, representing the publication, handing out my card, networking, trying to find story ideas. everyone so far has commented how cool my card is. #win.

speaking of work, i was sent by them this week to get a reiki treatment, and then write about it. and write i did.  my editors told me they thought it was a great article, but i think i came across a tad bitchy.

either way, it’s a funny piece about reiki and how, even though i’m all about alternative therapies, this was just a hill of beans.

read it and enjoy!

first wordpress blogpost done….only took me 12 hours.

hashtag fail.


i’m moving to new york cause i got problems with my sleep

yes i CAN wiggle my ears! suck it, haterrrrzzzz!

more of my articles have gone live up on BlissTree. I’ve been writing my fingers off, and it’s kinda great to feel carpal tunnel whilst simultaneously delivering so much content on a daily basis, gets me motivated to do so much more writing. i have so many ideas! i’m oh so hire-able! this article I wrote called Eat Pray Burn was a lot of fun actually, it’s about how wealthy white women are more prone to melanoma, according to a new study!


this article was also rather fun because i was scoffing at all these news studies that essentially tell people good news about their bad habits. in Scare Tactics i poke fun at an article that says old people will die if they try to workout or have sex!

this article i wrote on Potassium Iodide is more of a news-y article, documenting the recent radiation scare from Japan and how Canadians are buying up all the Potassium Iodide pills from the shops out west

i also wrote a really cool essay about last week when i was sick and a Drug-Free Experiment i did….basically, instead of relying on over-the-counter cold meds to get through the cold, i took nothing but natural supplements, and had some interesting results. read on, pilgrims.

 i leave for New York Cittttt-Aaaaay on sunday, i’ll be staying at the Coward Johnson’s (aka friend’s couches) and i’m so superfunhappyballs about it that i’m bursting with fruit flavour (taste the flavour).  i’ve done almost next to no planning for it either. all i know is i have a ticket to see The Daily Show with Jon Stewart one day, a few off-off-off-broadway shows i kinda wanna see another day, and some graffiti-artist-street-art-areas i deffo wanna scope out for a scoop…

….other than that, i am at liberty.

 i am going to write and wander and be a flanneur and be the most anonymous ghost in the city where everyone walks and everyone talks.
astoria, brooklyn, and williamsburg, you are about to get the Estima-Bump.
or as nus likes to call it, “Incestima’d.”

that being said, i dunno if i’ll have the time to blog before i leave.
so this friday, i want you all to show up at 7pm at the Tarragon Theatre to see me in a musical! it’s part of the paprika festival, it’s called Alligator Tears, and i play the town gossip (how apropos). I sing A LOT with a few solos (kill me now), and tickets are only $10.

 all the info you’ll need is here 

 photo by rob kempson, during rehearsal for Alligator Tears, you can see my un-make-up’d mug in the background
also, i’m not gonna talk too much about this because i don’t want to jinx it, but last week i was telling a friend about a big audition i heard about that’s happening this saturday in toronto. now i’m not an actor by trade (although all evidence to contrary, lately), but i do enjoy being in a play or musical every now and then. i do about one a year (and believe me, that’s plenty). anyway, it struck me as i was trying to encourage my friend to go the audition (he refused), that i should be saying this to myself.  i thought, “why don’t i go? i’ve got stuff prepared… might as well give it a go. will brush up on my audition-skills. have a giggle.”
considering this big audition is probably gonna cause huge line-ups and half of toronto’s hopefuls will be there, i am under no delusions that i have shot in hell, especially since i’m leaving for NEW YORK CITTTT-AAAYYY the next day, but hey, even gretzsky said “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” so yes,  i’ll be there early in the morning, freezing my vocal chords in the unseasonable march-sadness weather, but imma be there nonetheless.
wish me luck! (don’t say macbeth)

RIP 





your heroine went to three amazing press screenings last week for upcoming films. these are serious givin’r movies, mark my words. i was really impressed, because lately the only things i’ve been invited to are bullshit hollywood wank-fests.

the first was west is west, which is the long-awaited sequel to brit classic east is east.

then there was the LUMINOUS certified copy, which earned juliette binoche (love her) a best actress award at Cannes

finally it was family-friendly heartwarming drama win win starring montreal-hard-on-boy paul giamatti

you will have a hard time finding flaws with these three vastly differing but immensely rich films. go see them when they open. YOU’RE WELCOME.
also, another thing imma remain tight-lipped about (but am very optimistic about my chances) is an opportunity that has just arisen for me to stay in the south of france this upcoming fall at a chateau and blog for them with some funding. if i can organize inexpensive enough travel there (and secure the grant-attached writing gig i’m applying for in conjunction with this opportunity), this could really be something.
wish me luck! (don’t say tartuffe)
et c’est parti. 
on y va à new york 
à la prochaine, toronto!

>i’m moving to new york cause i got problems with my sleep

>

yes i CAN wiggle my ears! suck it, haterrrrzzzz!

more of my articles have gone live up on BlissTree. I’ve been writing my fingers off, and it’s kinda great to feel carpal tunnel whilst simultaneously delivering so much content on a daily basis, gets me motivated to do so much more writing. i have so many ideas! i’m oh so hire-able! this article I wrote called Eat Pray Burn was a lot of fun actually, it’s about how wealthy white women are more prone to melanoma, according to a new study!


this article was also rather fun because i was scoffing at all these news studies that essentially tell people good news about their bad habits. in Scare Tactics i poke fun at an article that says old people will die if they try to workout or have sex!

this article i wrote on Potassium Iodide is more of a news-y article, documenting the recent radiation scare from Japan and how Canadians are buying up all the Potassium Iodide pills from the shops out west

i also wrote a really cool essay about last week when i was sick and a Drug-Free Experiment i did….basically, instead of relying on over-the-counter cold meds to get through the cold, i took nothing but natural supplements, and had some interesting results. read on, pilgrims.

 i leave for New York Cittttt-Aaaaay on sunday, i’ll be staying at the Coward Johnson’s (aka friend’s couches) and i’m so superfunhappyballs about it that i’m bursting with fruit flavour (taste the flavour).  i’ve done almost next to no planning for it either. all i know is i have a ticket to see The Daily Show with Jon Stewart one day, a few off-off-off-broadway shows i kinda wanna see another day, and some graffiti-artist-street-art-areas i deffo wanna scope out for a scoop…

….other than that, i am at liberty.

 i am going to write and wander and be a flanneur and be the most anonymous ghost in the city where everyone walks and everyone talks.
astoria, brooklyn, and williamsburg, you are about to get the Estima-Bump.
or as nus likes to call it, “Incestima’d.”

that being said, i dunno if i’ll have the time to blog before i leave.
so this friday, i want you all to show up at 7pm at the Tarragon Theatre to see me in a musical! it’s part of the paprika festival, it’s called Alligator Tears, and i play the town gossip (how apropos). I sing A LOT with a few solos (kill me now), and tickets are only $10.

 all the info you’ll need is here 

 photo by rob kempson, during rehearsal for Alligator Tears, you can see my un-make-up’d mug in the background
also, i’m not gonna talk too much about this because i don’t want to jinx it, but last week i was telling a friend about a big audition i heard about that’s happening this saturday in toronto. now i’m not an actor by trade (although all evidence to contrary, lately), but i do enjoy being in a play or musical every now and then. i do about one a year (and believe me, that’s plenty). anyway, it struck me as i was trying to encourage my friend to go the audition (he refused), that i should be saying this to myself.  i thought, “why don’t i go? i’ve got stuff prepared… might as well give it a go. will brush up on my audition-skills. have a giggle.”
considering this big audition is probably gonna cause huge line-ups and half of toronto’s hopefuls will be there, i am under no delusions that i have shot in hell, especially since i’m leaving for NEW YORK CITTTT-AAAYYY the next day, but hey, even gretzsky said “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” so yes,  i’ll be there early in the morning, freezing my vocal chords in the unseasonable march-sadness weather, but imma be there nonetheless.
wish me luck! (don’t say macbeth)

RIP 





your heroine went to three amazing press screenings last week for upcoming films. these are serious givin’r movies, mark my words. i was really impressed, because lately the only things i’ve been invited to are bullshit hollywood wank-fests.

the first was west is west, which is the long-awaited sequel to brit classic east is east.

then there was the LUMINOUS certified copy, which earned juliette binoche (love her) a best actress award at Cannes

finally it was family-friendly heartwarming drama win win starring montreal-hard-on-boy paul giamatti

you will have a hard time finding flaws with these three vastly differing but immensely rich films. go see them when they open. YOU’RE WELCOME.
also, another thing imma remain tight-lipped about (but am very optimistic about my chances) is an opportunity that has just arisen for me to stay in the south of france this upcoming fall at a chateau and blog for them with some funding. if i can organize inexpensive enough travel there (and secure the grant-attached writing gig i’m applying for in conjunction with this opportunity), this could really be something.
wish me luck! (don’t say tartuffe)
et c’est parti. 
on y va à new york 
à la prochaine, toronto!

i’m a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower. ooh! i’m making six bucks an hour!

i have been working on so many freelance writing assignments lately. so much so that my Online Writing Portfolio required a massive overhaul!

i think my fingers have lost all feeling. pencils worn down to angry inches. laptop keyboard letters rubbed off in frenzied fury. deadlines deadlines deadlines! the life of a writer is never easy but it can be exciting….exclamation point.

check out my film review of the latest adaptation of Jane Eyre, starring smoking hot Michael Fassbender and Jamie Bell. my two wet dreams packed into one cinematic nocturnal emission.

also check out my film review of When We Leave, a german-turkish film that stars former porn star Sibel Kekilli, of Head-On fame (gegen die wand!)

i also wrote a DVD review of Room In Rome . . . two lezzers + one boiled cucumber= bullshit drama. shame on you Julio Medem!

i’ve started freelancing for BlissTree, a health-related blog for women over 30. nothing cutesy and sparse use of exclamation points. i’m not 100% sure if this freelance gig is locked-down, i think there’s still some negotiations to be had, but they’ve published three of my articles already, so i’m hoping more assignments are around the corner….

 my first blog for them is Exercise in Bed: Sex is Good for You! WARNING: MAY CONTAIN A DILDO-BOMB AND A STRAP-ON ASIDE…..NSFW. or is it??? hmmmmm.
secondly, i wrote a blog called Is This An Eating Disorder? which explores how far women will take their portion control and meal plans in the quest for perfection….and on the flip side, how forgetting these rules can damage your health. if you’re skinny or if you’re fat (which applies to everyone, i think), please read and comment!
finally, this blog is a bit more of a personal essay, i wrote The Vegetarian High Protein Low Carb Experiment: A Cautionary Tale. it explores where vegetarians get their protein, and also how the low-carb thing is a bunch of shit.
i don’t just write, fyi…. 
i sing! i act! i kibosh everyone who dares step into my spotlight!
 i’m like lana turner, but with talent.
boo-yah.
case in point:
i’m in a staged reading of a musical called Alligator Tears, which is part of this year’s Paprika Fest. today’s performance at 1pm  is free, and on the 25th the performance at 7pm is only $10 (it’s a benefit for the fest) so if you miss todays, please come to the benefit. I play Jeanette the town gossip, and I sing A LOT in this and have a few solos, so come check me out. The show is at the Tarragon Theatre, and if you click on all of those fricken links I just embedded you’ll find all the info you need. Hope to see you at the theatre!

allegra and I, going all lezzer at #loserkaraoke on St Patrick’s Day. Mild concern? Humbug.

i love cracking masculine codes.

i’d like to hang out more” means “i want to have sex with you.”

come over and we’ll watch a DVD” means “we’re having sex.”

…and, of course…

i don’t have the time to give you the attention you deserve” means “a relationship with you? dream on.”

just call a spade a spade.


>i’m a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower. ooh! i’m making six bucks an hour!

>

i have been working on so many freelance writing assignments lately. so much so that my Online Writing Portfolio required a massive overhaul!

i think my fingers have lost all feeling. pencils worn down to angry inches. laptop keyboard letters rubbed off in frenzied fury. deadlines deadlines deadlines! the life of a writer is never easy but it can be exciting….exclamation point.

check out my film review of the latest adaptation of Jane Eyre, starring smoking hot Michael Fassbender and Jamie Bell. my two wet dreams packed into one cinematic nocturnal emission.

also check out my film review of When We Leave, a german-turkish film that stars former porn star Sibel Kekilli, of Head-On fame (gegen die wand!)

i also wrote a DVD review of Room In Rome . . . two lezzers + one boiled cucumber= bullshit drama. shame on you Julio Medem!

i’ve started freelancing for BlissTree, a health-related blog for women over 30. nothing cutesy and sparse use of exclamation points. i’m not 100% sure if this freelance gig is locked-down, i think there’s still some negotiations to be had, but they’ve published three of my articles already, so i’m hoping more assignments are around the corner….

 my first blog for them is Exercise in Bed: Sex is Good for You! WARNING: MAY CONTAIN A DILDO-BOMB AND A STRAP-ON ASIDE…..NSFW. or is it??? hmmmmm.
secondly, i wrote a blog called Is This An Eating Disorder? which explores how far women will take their portion control and meal plans in the quest for perfection….and on the flip side, how forgetting these rules can damage your health. if you’re skinny or if you’re fat (which applies to everyone, i think), please read and comment!
finally, this blog is a bit more of a personal essay, i wrote The Vegetarian High Protein Low Carb Experiment: A Cautionary Tale. it explores where vegetarians get their protein, and also how the low-carb thing is a bunch of shit.
i don’t just write, fyi…. 
i sing! i act! i kibosh everyone who dares step into my spotlight!
 i’m like lana turner, but with talent.
boo-yah.
case in point:
i’m in a staged reading of a musical called Alligator Tears, which is part of this year’s Paprika Fest. today’s performance at 1pm  is free, and on the 25th the performance at 7pm is only $10 (it’s a benefit for the fest) so if you miss todays, please come to the benefit. I play Jeanette the town gossip, and I sing A LOT in this and have a few solos, so come check me out. The show is at the Tarragon Theatre, and if you click on all of those fricken links I just embedded you’ll find all the info you need. Hope to see you at the theatre!

allegra and I, going all lezzer at #loserkaraoke on St Patrick’s Day. Mild concern? Humbug.

i love cracking masculine codes.

i’d like to hang out more” means “i want to have sex with you.”

come over and we’ll watch a DVD” means “we’re having sex.”

…and, of course…

i don’t have the time to give you the attention you deserve” means “a relationship with you? dream on.”

just call a spade a spade.


we can remember swimming in December, heading for the city lights in 1975

check out my film review of Alamar, a film about the bond between father and son, that blurs the line between documentary and fiction. but, as they say on reading rainbow, don’t take my word for it……

speaking of reading rainbow, levar burton wished me a happy birfday
i love that man THIS much. dude is totally cool. 

just found out i was quoted in THE LONDON TELEGRAPH back in january and didn’t know it. my film reviews have global reach, bitches. 
also, i was interviewed/quoted in a nathaniel g moore article published in Open Book Toronto which you can read here about the state of the short story versus the novel. i love how mr moore calls me a “cultural persona” and “lass about town” (hit the nail on the head, ‘natch). it’s interesting reading what other people in canada’s literary scene (aka “Can.Lit”…..aka “CLit”) have to say about it. it’s great that we’re getting a discussion going about this because too much snobbery exists in both veins and it’s good to get this out. especially as a writer. if you’re attempting either of these forms of literature, this is a must read.

back in january, i was an invited panelist at York U on the subject of Writing/Creative Writing/Publishing and how to make a career out of it. now I’ve been invited back by the university newspaper Excalibur, which i used to write for waaaay back in the day, to speak to journalism students and current Excalibur writers on how to make a career out of journalism. if you’re a York U student interested in a career in journalism and want to hear how i became the UTTER SUCCESS (tumbleweed) that i am today, come out on monday, march 7th at 4:30pm in room 420 of the Student Centre on campus, and watch me yap yap yap about myself. best pastime ever.

i’ve been cast in a musical theatre production called Alligator Tears which will have a couple performances at this year’s Paprika Festival at the Tarragon Theatre. it won’t be a polished performance, we’ll all probably have script-in-hand, but it’s a hella-funny musical about rural Ontario in the 1950s. the musical is by Britta Johnson. i play a town gossip.
how apropos.
details here:
Performances of Alligator Tears:

Saturday March 19 @ 1 PM
Friday March 25 @ 8 PM

Tickets
Tickets are on sale now through the Tarragon Theatre box office!
Tickets to the Paprika Festival are FREE! With one exception. The Friday night performance of Alligator Tears is doubling as a fundraising performance for the festival. This means ticket to this performance will be $10 each. More details about the evening will follow shortly!


Regardless of whether the tickets are free or $10, we suggest that you reserve ahead of time We absolutely had shows sell out last year so make sure you reserve your tickets in advance if you really want to see something. The Tarragon box office phone number is 416.531.1827 or you can also reserve them online through their website at www.tarragontheatre.com/tickets. There will be a limit on how many tickets one person can reserve to this year’s Festival. We are limiting reservations to four tickets per show per person.
SEE YOU AT THE PLAYHOUSE, you theatre-junkies!

i went to the press screening of Source Code earlier in the week, starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Vera Farmiga, Jeffrey Wright, and Russell Peters (somebody gonna get a-hurt real bad). it’s like speculative fiction meets Run Lola Run  meets Groundhog Day meets Ghost. lots of improbable technobabble, overwrought histrionics, some pretty cool CGI, and a message about enjoying the gift of life, or whatever. i was kinda torn on whether the performances were sufficiently satisfying, but really, the only person who consistently never disappoints is Jeffrey Wright. the man is a fireball (and surely has fire-balls in a non-STD fashion). the film opens April 1st, and there’s lots of hype surrounding it, so it will surely do well at the box office. it’s definitely an interesting idea with some cool action sequences, but there’s a repetitiveness of it that isn’t compelling enough to keep predictability at bay. i’ve said too much already.

watch the trailer here:

a warning about Christine Estima:

i do not forgive the follies and vices of others, nor their offences against me. my good opinion, once lost, is lost forever.

 i have neither the time nor the inclination to indulge your need for redemption. your selfish disdain for my feelings was colossal. there is no road home.

as you were.


>we can remember swimming in December, heading for the city lights in 1975

>

check out my film review of Alamar, a film about the bond between father and son, that blurs the line between documentary and fiction. but, as they say on reading rainbow, don’t take my word for it……

speaking of reading rainbow, levar burton wished me a happy birfday
i love that man THIS much. dude is totally cool. 

just found out i was quoted in THE LONDON TELEGRAPH back in january and didn’t know it. my film reviews have global reach, bitches. 
also, i was interviewed/quoted in a nathaniel g moore article published in Open Book Toronto which you can read here about the state of the short story versus the novel. i love how mr moore calls me a “cultural persona” and “lass about town” (hit the nail on the head, ‘natch). it’s interesting reading what other people in canada’s literary scene (aka “Can.Lit”…..aka “CLit”) have to say about it. it’s great that we’re getting a discussion going about this because too much snobbery exists in both veins and it’s good to get this out. especially as a writer. if you’re attempting either of these forms of literature, this is a must read.

back in january, i was an invited panelist at York U on the subject of Writing/Creative Writing/Publishing and how to make a career out of it. now I’ve been invited back by the university newspaper Excalibur, which i used to write for waaaay back in the day, to speak to journalism students and current Excalibur writers on how to make a career out of journalism. if you’re a York U student interested in a career in journalism and want to hear how i became the UTTER SUCCESS (tumbleweed) that i am today, come out on monday, march 7th at 4:30pm in room 420 of the Student Centre on campus, and watch me yap yap yap about myself. best pastime ever.

i’ve been cast in a musical theatre production called Alligator Tears which will have a couple performances at this year’s Paprika Festival at the Tarragon Theatre. it won’t be a polished performance, we’ll all probably have script-in-hand, but it’s a hella-funny musical about rural Ontario in the 1950s. the musical is by Britta Johnson. i play a town gossip.
how apropos.
details here:
Performances of Alligator Tears:

Saturday March 19 @ 1 PM
Friday March 25 @ 8 PM

Tickets
Tickets are on sale now through the Tarragon Theatre box office!
Tickets to the Paprika Festival are FREE! With one exception. The Friday night performance of Alligator Tears is doubling as a fundraising performance for the festival. This means ticket to this performance will be $10 each. More details about the evening will follow shortly!


Regardless of whether the tickets are free or $10, we suggest that you reserve ahead of time We absolutely had shows sell out last year so make sure you reserve your tickets in advance if you really want to see something. The Tarragon box office phone number is 416.531.1827 or you can also reserve them online through their website at www.tarragontheatre.com/tickets. There will be a limit on how many tickets one person can reserve to this year’s Festival. We are limiting reservations to four tickets per show per person.
SEE YOU AT THE PLAYHOUSE, you theatre-junkies!

i went to the press screening of Source Code earlier in the week, starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Vera Farmiga, Jeffrey Wright, and Russell Peters (somebody gonna get a-hurt real bad). it’s like speculative fiction meets Run Lola Run  meets Groundhog Day meets Ghost. lots of improbable technobabble, overwrought histrionics, some pretty cool CGI, and a message about enjoying the gift of life, or whatever. i was kinda torn on whether the performances were sufficiently satisfying, but really, the only person who consistently never disappoints is Jeffrey Wright. the man is a fireball (and surely has fire-balls in a non-STD fashion). the film opens April 1st, and there’s lots of hype surrounding it, so it will surely do well at the box office. it’s definitely an interesting idea with some cool action sequences, but there’s a repetitiveness of it that isn’t compelling enough to keep predictability at bay. i’ve said too much already.

watch the trailer here:

a warning about Christine Estima:

i do not forgive the follies and vices of others, nor their offences against me. my good opinion, once lost, is lost forever.

 i have neither the time nor the inclination to indulge your need for redemption. your selfish disdain for my feelings was colossal. there is no road home.

as you were.


>tits out, pants down, overnight to london

>

i’m back, munchkins.

incredible experience.

and i legally can’t talk about it until it airs at some yet-to-be-determined date in the future (probably a few months). so don’t ask.

until that day dawns, i’ll just say that this was a great way to start off the new year, i’ve met some incredible people, had a truly emotional experience, learned so much about myself, and somehow came out shit-kicking on the other end. i hope to keep up the momentum this experience has built in my life, to dove-tail off whatever it brings, and to continue to live life like there’s a riot in my heart.

i’ve only been back for a few hours though, and people keep asking me about money. did you earn? did you win?

again, i can’t talk about that either. but that also seemed to be a recurrent theme of this experience.

so i’ll just say this:

money does not determine what you’re worth as a person. money only provides you with expensive enough clothes to cover up the fact that you’re in love with a lie.

and that’s probably the biggest lesson this project has taught me.

unless i’m needed for anything related to this show for the next few months until it airs, i think i’m going to disappear again for a while. eastern europe and then australia. i’ll let you know which part of the world pulls me in….

okay, i’ve been traveling for over 24 hours and my luggage is still hanging out in paris somewhere. more updates later.

p.s. I’M TANNED. YOU WILL BE JEALOUS.

p.p.s. happy valentines day bitches!


>ok, last quickie update, i swear…

>i just got a phone call from the people at Big Brother.

they wanted me to come in for a secret audition for the show to go on this summer. the guy on the phone really seemed adamant that i audition. but i’ll be filming this other show when the audition was scheduled for. so i can’t.

now i’m wondering….and second guessing….which show would i prefer to be on?

the one i’m one = progressive social experiment.
big brother = massive fame.
the one i’m one = being able to maintain my sense of self
big brother= ridiculous media attention, speculation, audience-approval, invasion of privacy, constantly in front of cameras 24/7 for 3 months, not being able to take a dump without it going out on the AP wire
the one i’m on= adhering to my feminist and social-revolutionary ideas
big brother=money money money money

fuck.

i know i made the right choice.

but still.

oh well, big brother will be on for years to come. i’ll do it another time. NEXT!

oh i forgot to mention: yesterday was the one year anniversary since i moved to london. all the canadian girls who came to london with me on this programme have since thrown in the towel and gone back home. i’ve fucking survived it, and am still ready for more.

yay me.

okay, for reals ya’ll.
i’m out of here, i swear.

love youuuuuuuuuuu


>quickie update

>

you wouldn’t believe all the things i’ve had to get done in this short period of time!

-signed contract after contract after contract, filled out countless forms
-endless talks and meetings with producers
-been fitted for certain costumes and outfits
-had a police background check done
-filled out psych tests and been interviewed by a psychologist
-been advised on the possible negative outcomes in relation to the media from appearing on a reality tv show
-provided references after references
-provided letters from previous employers confirming they know me
-informed my current boss who took the new quite jovially & will hold my position for me until i get back
-provided documentation proving i am who i say i am
-gotten immunized for a shitload of diseases (hepatitis A, typhoid, etc)
-started taking malaria pills
-paid my rent all in advance
-gone shopping for some exotic clothes to wear on the shoot
-haven’t even begun to pack

maybe it’s best that i was cast last…that i haven’t had much time to ruminate on what i’m about to undertake. i haven’t had the time to get excited or nervous. my plate is too full.

this will probably be my last blog update for a while. for 3 weeks to be exact. expect me back in the UK sometime around Feb.13th.

if you get restless for more chrissy, there’s always my archives, i guess….

anyway, they’re putting me up in a hotel near the airport the night before we fly out. a hotel room all to myself….and i need a good, healthy, boink-fest…any volunteers?

xxxxxxxxxx
ciao