"Blogging isn't journalism, it's graffiti with punctuation."

roa

New York Dolls

being a blogger has its perks. a bunch of lovely lady bloggers were invited to Miik clothing’s HQ to sample their fine dresses made of eco-friendly and sustainable bamboo (i know, braingasm!). head honcho Michael and co. were totally hospitable and fun, and let us gals run riots through their racks, trying on all the dresses we could squeeze our bodacious tatas into. 
(l-r) nat, moi, marie, simone, val, wendy, and natasa aka Toronto Blogatronics Femme Force. notice the absence of blondes? yeah, i was pretty chuffed about that.
this was my final choice dress, but as you can see below, we tried on so many different styles
face palm. look at my legs and toes. i was biking all day yesterday, and had my lululemons, leg warmers, and chuck taylors on! so not conducive to proper dress-fancy-photos.
do Chucks and leg warmers go with the dress?
this grey dress i tried on was more work-suitable than party-fun
great wears, eh?! Miik will be at  the green living show next weekend (Friday, Saturday and Sunday) at the Fashion Takes Action booth 129.

 also, you should visit and “LIKE” the Miik Facebook page for your chance to win a dress of your own! uber simple, just “like” the page and comment on one of the pics of us in the dresses (once they’re uploaded). 

you’re welcome, ladies. 

you can repay me in sexual favours.
wait, what? 
hahaha, totally kidding (not kidding). i’ve been totally lezzing it up lately. at this event, Val saw my pubes, Marie saw my bum-bum & everyone saw my boobs. although, after making out with Allegra a few weeks ago, i’ve decided i’d make a bad lezzer. women are competitive with each other (it sucks and i hate it, but it’s true) and if a gal and i were going to town on each other, i’d just keep thinking “shit, is she better at this than me? i hate her, the show-off!”
BRUNETTES HAVE MORE FUN
blondes have more fungus
back to our new york related programming:
i seriously cannot fathom the level of ingenious and clever street art that abounds in NYC. toronto has some amazing graffiti spots (queen/spadina alley for starters) but we really pale in comparison.
such great socially-conscious graffiti, this time from Williamsburg, pretty much on North 6th between Kent and Wythe
what colour does a smurf turn when you choke it?
this is not an indian
how incredible is this? it’s by brilliant street artist Roa
and it’s massive
public art is always the most democratic, untamed art. it’s livable.
guerilla knitting ninja‘s strike again under the brooklyn bridge!!
speaking of the Brooklyn Bridge, next time you walk across it, i want you to pay CLOSE attention to the bridge itself and not the view from it….
…i’ve walked/cycled across the bridge several times in life, and this time i noticed just how many padlocks had been attached to it. turns out New York’s young lovertines like to engrave their initials on the padlocks, attach them to the bridge, and then throw the keys into the river below.
the lovers of new york are forever commemorated on this epic bridge…
one day my true love and i will do this on some bridge somewhere in the world….but not today.
the plaques on the brooklyn bridge, which indicate what you’re looking at on the horizon, need to be updated….they’ve had 10 fucking years, come on NYC.
someone carved RIP over the WTC…but just looking at this was upsetting to me.

so okay, i’m back in Toronto after the worst clusterfuck bus ride back from Port Authority. I decided to take the midnight bus instead of taking the bus that left in the morning which would essentially rob me of an entire day. so i had dinner with Randeep at Ella Cafe in Williamsburg, packed my shit up quicker than a bread truck hauls mafia-hit-bodies across the FDR, then booked it to Port Authority.

of course, none of the screens at Port Authority (which in theory would tell travelers which gate they’re departing from) were functioning. also, all the information booths were completely un-manned. i don’t know who’s running Port Authority, but if this was Toronto, these people would be out of a job. what a shit hole.

after lining up at the wrong gate, i finally found my proper gate where a massive line-up for this bus awaited me. it was kinda stupid, everybody and their mother was on the toronto-bound greyhound that only holds 44 people. in addition, the bus was essentially a milk truck (read: it makes stops at every single shit hole hamlet along the way….like a milk truck woulda done back in the day) so people who were just going to fucking syracuse or some other town-that-time-forgot were also queuing up.

anyway, because of the massive line, they asked all us El-Toro’s and barfahole-ers to step aside and take another bus. essentially, this other bus that they lined up for us would head straight for barfahole-buffalo and then El-Toro-toronto, bypassing the other bus which was stopping everywhere, and arriving earlier than expected.

but waiting for this fucking second bus to arrive meant we only left Port Authority at 1:40am! and when we boarded it, we realized it was one of the older shit greyhound buses with no electrical outlets, no wifi, and no refuse bins.

we did arrive at Barfahole earlier than the other bus, about 90 minutes ahead of schedule. at which point we were told to get the fuck off the bus and wait 90 minutes for the first bus to arrive so we could board it. our bus was now decommissioned. fuck you greyhound.

finally got on the bus i was supposed to be on 9 hours earlier, where a man who smelled worse than the bus-loo’s had boarded it without a ticket, hoping to sneak across to Canada. the bus driver ejected him, and i watched from the bus as he wandered aimlessly around the barfahole bus terminal looking for another bus to stow-away on, presumably to run away from his sad life. he was either indigent, homeless, underemployed, or all of the above.

finally made it to toronto where the sun was shining and the customs officers didn’t give me a shit-kicking.

i start my new job this week. i am going to refrain from publicly naming them in any online forum, but as i’ve said in previous posts, i am employed as a staff writer by a woman-run, woman-directed publication and i’m very excited to be joining the team:)

OH AND I WON THIS CONTEST

WATCH OUT INCANS AND PERUVIANS ALIKE, I’M A-COMING!

i love how adventure-travel opportunities always find a way to factor into my life. i have been traveling since 2005 and not a year goes by that i don’t use my passport. it says in my little bio in the left margin that i’m an explorer, and that moniker encompasses everything i do in life….backpacking, writing, performing….everything. i love being able to exercise that title to its maximum effort, to keep trying new things, meeting new people, and experiencing all that it has to offer, disasters and triumphs alike. this planet is too incredible to stay in one place your entire life, and life is way too short.

life is either a great adventure…..or nothing at all.


new york city loves to mess around with the LA sound, the LA sound…

in NYC for almost a week and i haven’t blogged! this just won’t do, no no no.
customs were jerks, i slept the entire bus ride, arriving in a new place and hating the journey or barely registering it in your brain is typical with greyhound . passing through upstate new york is basically passing one giant junkyard.  as the new jersey turnpike came into view, i broke open the champagne bottle between my ears.
settling in astoria with Amber, i started immediately doing research on street culture, graffiti artists areas, and things i had to do in NYC that were un-tourist-y (seeing as how i’ve been here 3 times before and have done all that empire-rockefeller-times square-radio city-ellis island-wtc-5th ave-macys-brooklyn bridge bullshit) that gave me a sense of the subcultures, vibes, and shadows that only the locals know about. i could blend right in, disappear, become a ghost.
found out through so much digging that the following night pop-culture-icon Sasha Grey was having a book launch in Soho.
i jumped on that quicker than a bread truck hauling bodies
if you don’t know about Sasha Grey, she became a porn star at the age of 18, immediately became notorious in her first film for asking her scene partner to punch her in the stomach while he was going to town on her….then she did an interview on Tyra Banks which brought her into the mainstream consciousness. After years in the adult world, and doing lots of fashion spreads for Vice Magazine and interviews in hipster mags, Steven Soderbergh cast her in his 2009 film The Girlfriend Experience, which received mixed reviews veering mostly on the positive. Now she has a book out, fronts a band, and is trynna make it in mainstream films.
i haven’t decided how i feel about sasha grey. i will concede that she does occupy a place in the collective conscious, and has tapped into something that seems to hold people’s attention, mine included. but i’m not completely sold that what she does is “performance art.” she’s provocative and different and an incredibly saavy business woman, but i refuse at this junction to put her on the same level as Annie Sprinkle or Chris Burden.  she’s definitely multidisciplinary and draws attention to the work she does in a cerebral and thought-provoking way.
but reading some of the sections in her book Neu Sex, i was actually quite disappointed with the quality of writing and the themes and motifs therein. she’s not a particularly unique writer. in fact, it was quite derivative. she quotes a lot of great philosophers in her writing, so at least we know who she’s thinking with, but she doesn’t seem to engage the intellect of the reader in a way that portrays her opinion on different veins of thought in question.
to be brief, her book sucks . . .
 . . .   and then swallows…
..and then takes it up the ass.
she’s definitely a beaut. and dressed rather demurely. i ALMOST forgot that i’ve seen inside her lady bits.
aw. bless.
see the dude with the ‘fro? that’s Questlove from The Roots!!
Sasha (the picture of dorian)Grey has admirers in high places.
but let’s remember that i’m not in NYC to schmooze with the celebs and star fuckers, i’m here to do research for my novel.
time to beat the street.
originally my research told me to check out places like Chelsea and the East Village and Alphabet City and St Marks Place….but these areas, after much inspection, really were only great for street art in the 70, 80s and 90s and kinda lost their pulse on the street culture nation after people like Basquiat and Keith Haring died.
that’s not to say, as you can see from my pictures here, that there isn’t still remnants of those great days left behind in the areas. they’re just cleverly hidden.
the core of street culture in NYC has moved to Brooklyn, and each year moves further and further inland. so off to Bushwick i went to strike out for deep water.
i was specifically looking for this piece because in my research i had read that it had just gone up on this wall a few days before and was garnering a lot of buzz online. this piece is called Helping Hand and the artist’s name is No Touching Ground.
apparently No Touching Ground actually has that memo notepad tattoo’d on his wrist, and just fills it in with Things To Do in pen. so when he decided to turn his wrist into street art, he decided that reminding himself and others to donate to the Japan quake relief effort was something not to forget. art + philanthropy= win.
you can read all about the backstory and creation of this piece here.
walking around Bushwick, you come across some of the most innovative and beautiful murals one never finds in a 4-walled gallery.
yesterday was a total coup for me because i managed to score an impromptu interview with Jake Dobkin, co-founder of Gothamist and head honcho behind Streetsy.com, one of the best street art and culture websites out there. he was totally cool and chatted with me for an hour about his thoughts on the scene here and answered all of my questions and comments with such thoughtful and insightful responses. getting the backstory on the scene is invaluable info for my book, so it’s not like going to directly quote him or anything, but i will deffo give him a mega-fanks in my book when it’s published. jake dobkin, aka super awesome.
shit guy. totes. HI MUM!
street art is….what? what is it? TELL ME!!
I think i originally saw this piece online, generating some buzz, so when i found it, i got a bit giddy. fuck me if i remember who did it or what it symbolizes. i just think it’s fucking righteous.
aw. pookie.
this dude was skateboarding by as i was taking the shot, and i think he ducked down so he wouldn’t obstruct my view, but i actually wanted him in the frame and timed it perfectly, methinks. FANKS GUY.
the street art piece in the background is by Roa 
ha!
it’s actually called Bogart street, as you can see below, but some clever git bent the sign back so it reads as ART street….and really, that is way more apropos.
i spent a few hours in the Bushwick area at Swallow Cafe which seemed to be populated exclusively by street artists, purveyors, carpenters, people working in mixed disciplines, and hot hot hot hot men in chuck taylors.

i’ll be back to that cafe, fo’shizzle.

the actual area is called WYCKOFF but someone put an A over the Y.
shock me shock me shock me with that deeeeeviant behaviour.
call me crazy, but i look at this, and i see either a replica or an homage to Keith Haring’s work….am i right?
welcome to ChrisTopia. Population: dis gal.

yes yes, ya’ll. i reserved my ticket to the show a month ago, and STILL hadda wait outside in the fricken cold to get in cuz even with a reservation, entry was first-come first-serve basis and i was in the middle-to-back of the line. i eventually got in the studio, but many who reserved were left out in the cold. GET A BIGGER STUDIO, JON! (ps love you)
this is what it says over the door when you enter the building.
they were playing The Kooks on the speakers as i entered the studio. first the warm up guy Paul comes out and chats up the audience, gets us a bit giggly and stupid. when another person in the audience told him they were from Toronto, i screamed “yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” and Paul focuses on me and goes “well you’re much prettier than the last guy.” (true story) So Paul asks my name and what i do. when i tell him i’m a writer, and he asks what kind, i say “I just finished my first book” and the audience gave me a rousing ovation.

awww shucks.

so Paul asks what the title is.

having been in the audience for many a show where comedians rip audience members a new rectum, i said “errr, i don’t wanna tell you!”

cue audience laughter. others shouted “don’t tell him!” and here’s paul insisting “oh no, i wont’ make fun of it, i swear.”

yeah fucking right! so i said, “err…it’s called War and Peace, mkay?”

He got the hint. sorry paul.

so then Jon comes out and we all cheer like groupies. i’ve seen jon stewart live before, about 5 or 6 years ago he did a standup gig at Massey Hall, but for some reason, my memory of that event is rather hazy.
so jon asks if we have any questions for him, a kinda informal Q & A session, and my hand immediately shoots up. he calls upon me with a “yes madame!” yay, first person to ask a question=most memorable surely.
so i ask, “i was wondering if either you or Norm Macdonald (guest on show) have an opinion on the current heart-palpitating (sarcasm) Canadian election?”
and jon says with all the sardonic bite classic to his humour, “who DOESN’T have an opinion, there are too many opinions really…” audience laughs. “yeah your government collapsed, didn’t it” and this girl in the aud from vancouver says the government was “a sham!” to which jon goes “now now, we don’t want canadians fighting here! you do that often enough on the ice. your hockey games are brutal.”
a few more questions from the audience and the show starts. during the first two segments, it was kinda hard from where i was sitting to see jon as the cameras blocked much of his view, but i still could definitely see him.  Jon Oliver’s segment about “oilfrica” in libya made jon piss his pants with laughter when the cameras weren’t on him. during the commercial breaks, two guys with headsets kept talking to jon and saying what didn’t look like too important stuff to occupy his thoughts. i’ve been the audience for other talk shows before, and the hosts there liked to talk to the audience during commercial breaks…not jon. sadness:(

anyway, norm macdonald comes out as the guest (i had perfect view, cameras had shifted position) and jon uses my question from the Q & A earlier to talk to Canuck Norm about our election and our government! i felt pretty chuffed about that. i DIRECTLY AFFECTED The Daily Show. all hail me.

so if you missed the episode, you can watch it in full in canada here or in the usa here.

PAY ATTENTION when watching cuz you can totally hear my laughter standing out in the audience. especially if you know how i laugh, you’ll undoubtably hear me. also when norm comes out and canada is mentioned, you can hear me squeal-shout a bit.

my laugh is kinda stupid-redonkulous and hard to miss.

hahaha, even when in another country, i’m STILL winning like a fiend at Roll Up The Rim.
i saw this car in brooklyn yesterday and had a braingasm. The Big Bang Theory car that sheldon would approve of, surely.
it’s been hard this past week being in NYC as well. the last two times i was here, it was to visit someone that i have decided i should no longer contact. no bad words have been exchanged between us. in fact, the last time we chatted, it was rather pleasant. i just think any contact now would be somewhat inappropriate.
problem is, i’m trynna make new memories in NYC and it’s hard when i pass by Union Square or the cinema at 19th & Broadway, or go for a run along the Hudson river….even going into Bushwick was a bit of a mind-fuck. i didn’t think i felt this strongly about a person that i really didn’t have that much in common with.
in fact, i’m not even sure i liked this person that much. but refraining from contacting them by my own choice whilst here has been kind of painful. there are ghosts all over the city, and it’s made me rather sad when i stop to think about it.
one good thing about here to work and to write is that i’ve gotten a free 2 week membership at Paragraph, which is the NYC writers centre. I got it for free because i’m a member of the Toronto Writers Centre and they have a reciprocal agreement. the other night after The Daily Show, I was writing at the centre until about 1am. then i was gonna hop on the subway back to astoria….instead i walked up broadway for about 20 blocks in the middle of the night.
in the rain.
listening to misanthropic tunes.
i just  needed to walk and to think….
i still have another week loaded with subcultural adventures to be had.

all i hafta say is, when trying to understand the nature of a city’s stone, don’t stick to the comfortable thin skins of bus tours, museums, and flashy lights. bite down into the meaty layers underneath. become a local. see what isn’t seen from the safety of guidebooks.

no i will not visit the Magnolia bakery or Zabars.

fuck that.

enough blogging, the day is still sunny and adolescent-esque. and the city is awaiting this young canadian lass….