"Blogging isn't journalism, it's graffiti with punctuation."

theatre

Video: Watch me perform @RaconteursTO!

ranconteurs2016

Recently I performed at Raconteurs, a live storytelling event that happens monthly here in Toronto. I’ve performed at Raconteurs before, and as many of you know, lots of other Spoken Word events around the world like The Moth, Spark London, GRTTWaK, and Pressgang. I feel like these events bridge a nice gap between writing and performance. I don’t like to act much, I prefer to be vulnerable on the page, rather than on the stage, but Spoken Word and Live Storytelling are a nice way to meld the two.

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I told a story about trying to become the Canadian Amélie with a little help from the Bunz Trading Zone. It’s a crazy story of trying to connect with other people — complete strangers, really — and all the foibles and follies therein. You can watch it below! Enjoy!

In this new year, I have lots of things on my plate! So many upcoming publications, performances, and more! I can’t wait to share the news with you. Even though 2016 was a dumpster fire for everyone, I made some huge advances in my career and I’m so pleased with the direction in which everything is going. Small positive steps everyday lead to big things!

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Also, I have a new adventure on the horizon! On Valentine’s Day, I head to Helsingborg, Sweden for the first time! I’ve never been (even though I lived in Europe for years and years), so when a housesitting opportunity arose, so I had to take it. After Sweden, I’ll be swinging through London, Brussels, and Amsterdam to visit my friends (and celebrate my birfday! What a crazy 3 weeks this is going to be….), so if you’re in Helsingborg and want to show this wee Canadian lass around, hit me up!

As always, don’t forget to check out Christine Estima dot CALM (har har) to read all of my published articles, watch my performances, and check out my media coverage.

NewWEbSite!

 


don’t cry, ophelia

to me, this looks like the character Ophelia from Hamlet. She “supposedly” killed herself in the river after an altercation with Hamlet, but it was never really confirmed in the play. I think she was pushed. Anyway, this beautiful piece which I found at Welling Court in Astoria has a beautiful girl floating along with what look like skulls of her former self floating next to her, denoting death.

can you tell i was a theatre major?


all the girls standing in the line for the bathroom

that was the name of the first short story i ever had professionally published. I blogged about it when it happened way back in 2005… that paycheque paid rent that month. i took the above photo in october of last year during my war child challenge campaign, and this was an outtake that was never published, so i thought i’d have fun with it. the blending of two creative projects.

even though i miss house-sitting, i won’t miss that building being the only one in sight for miles in every direction.

found in the alleys behind the drake hotel. i thought Spud already was the mayor.

look closer.

the background of Ford’s stupid monkey face says “Spud 4 Mayor” over and over.

I love Spud’s work, he’s one of the greatest Toronto street artists who eludes everyone. Gregory Allan Elliot told me that some of the dudes in Kensington market know who he is and can put me in contact. His work is everywhere and has been around for years. His Ford-sperms and Ford-faces made it into my The Grid article that was published a few weeks ago. And he always seems to score the greatest walls and locations. The rooftops of Queen and Spadina have all been Spud bombed. One says “SpudR” not sure what the R is for, but hey, we know it’s him because of his style and imagery.

here are some old Spud photos that i’ve taken but have never published. this one above was found in the Ossington-Humbert alleyway (I spend most of my days in alleys, seriously). He took over an entire garage front, and even copyrighted it in the bottom right corner.

this is just a spudbomb sticker, but i love it.

when i grow up, i’m going to bovine university.

this is a moo point.

you know, it’s like a cow’s opinion. it doesn’t matter. it’s moo.

i published a photo of this exact same piece a few months ago, but it was someone else’s photo. thought i’d go back and take my own, for copyright/ownership purposes.

i have another photograph of a piece that was put up in graffiti alley, it’s the exact same rob ford face, but instead of “piss here” it just says “ass.”

hhaha! this is in the alley behind dovercourt and queen. the “work in progress” has always been there, but like the new writing to the left indicates, it has been a work in progress for EONS. C’mon son. GET IT TOGETHER.

do you see what i see?

so fucking cool. this was on abell street behind the wreckage of construction.

i love the unused/abandoned storefronts along queen west.

speaking of Gregory Allan Elliot….see what he did here? He took a black marker to the movie poster for Colombiana… so fucking clever, sir. Yes, I know it’s him because the gun is now shooting his “heart/love” symbol.

the night, with garin, outside the drake hotel, where the woman with the typewriter sat on the sidewalk and tapped poems for passers-by. it sounded like morse-code.

headlines the day after Canada went into a state of mourning…

i was walking along Bloor and this guy was just sitting there holding this while fondling his smartphone.

fanks for letting me take your picture, guy.

it’s the fat-lip twins!

my wifey is so nom-nom-nom.

as i spoke about before, Ford Canada is lending me a car for this Labour Day long weekend (Ford Canada recognizes exceptional awesomeness, clearly) , so I’m going on a roadtrip! I’m going back to the place of my birth, Montreal, to hang with my gay boyfriend, my old school mates, to practice mon français (maudit enfant chienne), and wander about to see what’s cool around the plateau since i left at the age of 12.

frankly, after all that i’ve been going through lately, this opportunity couldn’t have come at a better time.

hopefully i’ll find some amazing Montreal graffiti, and see some great Montreal theatre!

if you have any graffiti/theatre leads, please send them my way. or if you’re throwing a hipster douchebag party event clusterfuck that kyboshes other attempts, let a sistah know.

bloggin will resume next week.

à  la prochaine, mes ti-choufleurs!


we spies. we slow hands. killer for hire, you know not yourself

in the middle of the night, i am the girl biking in and out of toronto alleyways. my basket carries music, sending the raccoons scurrying behind wheelie bins and the cats under mufflers. the pavement echoes the grind of my chain and my voice, cooing. i look up to the sky, which is gauzed behind the strobe of tree tops and aching branches.

my thighs burn acid, and i need to go alkaline without the alchemy.

my body is in a constant state of  metallurgy.

since my above The Grid article came out, it’s been the top story on their website, see:


if you haven’t checked it out yet, do it now.

fitting that as soon as my Rob Ford graffiti photos are published, Deadboy comes out with a new batch of Ford pieces that are so brilliant, it’s as if stephen hawking, a messiah, and gandalf made a spawn.

Deadboy, you are made of perfect jesus wizard sauce.

seriously, he is making some of the most thought-provoking street art in toronto.

he let me know the locations of his new work: Rob Ford and Doug Ford aka Tweedledee & Tweedledum:

an alleyway near Ossington and Humbert.

Queen Street West and Claremont

“Graffiti isn’t the problem. It’s society not knowing what to do with artists . . . Oh look, there’s a rose. LET’S PAVE OVER IT.”

-Ron English

Chinatown/Kensington Market

i have some exciting news to announce (and more which i cannot announce just yet, as it’s still in the works… suffice it to say, September is going to be an exciting month).

the first is that Ford Canada is lending me car for labour day weekend.

yes, you read that right.

sometimes having a social media presence has untold perks, which has slowly begun to reveal itself to me.

they approached me with the offer, and we’ve been ironing out the details for a while. so what am i going to do with a luxurious hybrid from september 1-6th?

i’m driving to montreal.

i haven’t been back to la belle province, the place of my birth, since 2005, so i am long overdue.

and you will witness the rediscovery of my hometown, as i will be blogging, vlogging, and tweeting the snot outta this trip!

thanks Ford Canada and the good peeps at National (hi matt!). we fit together like the ignition and the key.

vroom vroom.

i always thought “Adam’s Apple” was a strange name.

eve gave adam a forbidden fruit, he swallowed it, and desire caused their expulsion.

now, men must forever carry lust in their throats.

and isn’t it just so apropos that women, naturally, are rather good at bobbing for apples.


a conversation i overheard this week:

Gal #1: “I’m from the south, flirting is part of my heritage!”

Gal #2: “What does that mean?”

Gal #3: “It means her mother was a slut too.”

my past few posts have detailed the good bike project here in toronto, and here are more finds to add to the growing list of fluorescent cycles peppering the city, adding flavour.

this albany find was particularly important to me.

if you don’t know, jane jacobs was a local activist & urban planner who singlehandedly prevented the spadina expressway from ruining toronto-the-good. without her intervention, the city would have erected that gaudy monstrosity, destroying homes, communities, urban flow, cultural contentment….and even this blog.

odd that the albany-jane-jacobs bike wasn’t placed on spadina….

i see this “TOKYO!” tag all over the city, although many of their occurrences have been painted over or blasted off since the spring.

as Rob and i spent a night pushing our dead-body bikes across Bloor street, we came across this virtually untouched tag.

i cannot pass this tag without humming this chorus. it’s like a tick.

…where the demons from my past leave me in peace.

this is better than “stop, hammertime.”

the first photo at the very top of this post was an outtake.  i’d heard a beautiful mural of a couple kissing was going up near Bloor and Bathurst, and snuck around the area at night to photograph it. My camera kept going out of focus right when the shutter clicked.

so i decided to make something out of the outtakes (creativity always affects something previously thought unusable. there are no lost causes).

hence, the photo at the very top.

and this one below.

can’t you see what you’ve done to my heart and soul? this is a wasteland now.


black pearl athena

last week, i was flattered with tickets to see Spent at the Young Centre for Performing Arts in the distillery district. many of you know i am a huge theatre fag and try to see as many plays as possible, and i’m always willing to blog and tweet about the gems.

Spent, written and performed by Adam Paolozza and Ravi Jain, is a lampoon of the 2008 economic crisis, told through physical comedy (basically the style is clown, without the red noses or stupid Bozo facepaint). it was a ravishing, funny,vibrant, joyous romp through what many considered a polyp on the colon of ecoomics and finance. Paolozza ad Jain have created a rock ’em sock ’em satire of the discourse we use when dealing with money, making several analogies to religion, and how dollar signs can be confused with crucifixes. they do all that in a mere 80 minutes, with energy to spare.

it’s the coolest fricken play you’ll see this summer in toronto before it hits the edinburgh fringe fest. all the details you need is here (and tickets are cheap, people). get thee to a playhouse.

(#Tweetgasm photos courtesy of Photojunkie.ca)

i actually didn’t notice Reg was copping a feel here. i thought we were just squishing our puppies together.

woah. her face = sex.

was shocked to see paul. i’ve only ever seen him out once before, way back in february for GenYTO during social media week. i’m walking up to the gladstone, then outta nowhere, i see him on the sidewalk, and i’m like, “wait, what?” took me a moment to actually process it. i would have walked right by him if he hadn’t turned at the sound of my heels clicking along the pavement. paul’s twitter bio says that he “believes shoes tell everything about a woman.”

“so what do my heels tell you about me?” i asked.

paul opened his mouth to answer, but i cut him off:

“on second thought, don’t tell me.”

that’s probably for the best.

yaw took these iPhone shots of me. here i’m wearing dave‘s specs, looking like an angry librarian.

this caption should be “I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO WORK IN A LIBRARY!! IF ONLY I COULD READ!!!!!”

now i’m wearing Yaw’s top gun aviators, pulling a duckface, adored by myspace-alien-face-peace-sign-model-mayhems everywhere.

jessica‘s housewarming party. sweaty and rained on, but…..

…i still managed to finger-dance and pull a bride of chucky mug.

testing testing is this thing on?

i was stopped at a red light near college and lansdowne, looked in my side mirror, and nearly lost my heart in the rails and moving blues.

went to Rule Britannia at Clinton’s with andrew, which was rather disappointing. kept playing stupid top 40 british hits from the 80s that are overplayed and not really crowd pleasers. i only heard one Arctic Monkeys song and one Klaxons song, the rest were fucking come-on-eileen, twist-and-shout, i’m-feeling-supersonic-give-me-gin-and-tonic, rio-grande BOLLOCKS. yawn.

this was the night before amy winehouse died. they didn’t play a single one of her tunes.

i remember the first time i heard of the Forever 27 club. it was actually a decade ago now, the summer of 2001, when i was working at the CN Tower. i was one of the bitches operating the elevators. “and now we’re moving at 15 miles per hour, this is the tallest free standing tower in the world, it takes 58 seconds to get to the top, blah blah fucking blah.” this dude that i worked with at the towering inferno was having a houseparty, i think his name was michael, but it could have been colin or william (i’m showing my age here, aren’t i?). on the wall of his sherbourne apartment was this poster that said Forever 27 and it had the usual suspects on it. i didn’t get what it meant until i asked, but for some reason, the image of the poster burned into my brain.  i had the biggest crush on that michael-colin-william dude too. i had held a houseparty earlier in the year, which he attended, and this was back when i had no reservations about drinking, so i shitfacedly swung my legs onto his lap, and basically made a plastered fool of myself, which he seemed to like, because he came back the next day to hang with me, using the pithy excuse of “i left something at yours” which he totally didn’t, he just wanted to do what Reg was doing in the above photo. i didn’t let him.

suffice it to say, when i quit that shit McJob, i never heard or saw him again.

after a 50 kilometre bike ride to the downtown core (good god i love biking and my bike, i’m such a shitkicker), i met up with nate and we basically spent sunday together. iced coffees at Crafted, dinner at Lakeview, drinks at Sweaty Betty’s.

he pointed out the above Devil Rob Ford street art to me, which i may have just walked by if he hadn’t pointed it out. it looks like the same style as these rob-ford-spermatozoa‘s i found a little while back. Who is behind this wheatpaste? it’s on the corner of ossington and humbert. if you know, please tell me!

“my soul is a death rattle,” i recently told nate.

tie a noose around my neck and pull, and pull, and pull.

the Nus doth protest too much.

why we should lose our virginity, from Submarine.

i’ll never tell which reason i chose.

i keep having these ferbile dreams. i wake up disoriented, and the feeling lingers all day, agate colours punctuating my eyes, splitting them from my brain.  i had to walk through the city under a baseball cap and huge sunglasses, head down like i’d lost my dog, hiding the face, for fear that someone would recognize me from the dream, as if the players were about, dreaming the same things, our subconscious minds linked in perfumes.

chasing her around the table, in a movie. wearing a t-shirt and jeans, and the credits roll.


my soul is a death rattle.


Schadenfreudegasm


Lindsey Kelk‘s book launch last week (fanks Harper Collins Canada for invite!) was a blast, and the Globe and Mail took our photos to prove it. i hope this doesn’t make me a socialite now. i’m a writer sweating through pepto-bismal nights and entire unusable chapters. verging on something brilliant, brewing in the head.

katie and i had brunch on the Drake Hotel patio and were sweating out stories and sunlight. our pores unclogging fluids, florid tales, and emotional refugees. at the next table, a couple had a huge fight, and we all pretended not to hear as the woman got up and walked away. at first it seemed that the man might be left with the bill, but the woman returned, paid the entire bill, scooped up her uneaten plate and stuffed it in a doggie bag, finished off her cocktail in one stinging gulp, and walked away.

sometimes i am a dead girl.

katie then took me to a hipster house party where everyone wore vintage heels and dresses of polyester. the men were awkwardly handsome and the food reminded me of literature. like we were eating plates torn from the pages of Neruda and Marquez. i took this above photo, the saying was mounted on the flue mantle, hidden behind other ornamentals, almost missing my attention.

if i were to fill in this blank, i would put, “…like a blind woman, bathing.”

i’m used to spending time alone. i wander the streets of the city, biking with no where specific to go, wrapped up in my own thoughts. i never bother inviting my friends to come out with me, it never occurs to me until later when i’m sitting on a bench outside a falafel joint, watching heat rise from the pavement, and couples with awkward body language teeter-totter past me, that i think “i wish i could elbow-rib-cage my girls about this.”

flexing chimp stencil in an alleyway off dundas west. in my head, this is my mirror image. i am always internally surprised when someone recognizes me, or knows my name. i don’t know why, maybe it’s the idea of owning real estate in someone’s consciousness, and not being able to see how they’ve maintained the weeds, that’s the mind-fuck. perhaps this stems from years of …. actually i don’t want to talk about that. too lazy to delete.


“We’ve never met b4 but I think I just saw u riding ur bike on the esplanade. I am not a stalker!
U rang ur bike bell at a few guys who were walking in the middle of the street…one jumped! LOL! it was pretty effing funny!”-LG

yup, twas me, fanks for message guy. i like bombing along the street and scaring the shitfuck out of chumps who are doefully expecting lady cyclists to be in floral dresses and wedge heels. fuck that noise.

although i prefer the aesthetics of the city bikes with the slim tires and really high handlebars, i just would never be satisfied riding them. those hipster rustbuckets have NO gears and you feel each bump like a crack in the coccyx. i’m not riding these streets to look like a daisy, i like my shit-kicker bikes that have been slammed around. i want to go uphill fast, downhill faster, spinning over loose gravel, wiping out, and standing on the pedals the entire way.

last week, i was T-boned by another cyclist who was making a turn too fast without using her breaks on the wrong side of the bike path. shitface clearly didn’t know what the hell she was doing. my bike flipped and yet i somehow jumped off the bike, landing on my feet, not a scratch on me. my bike’s rear, however, was totaled. i tore her a new asshole when she dared to say that i was going too fast. YOU WERE TURNING INTO MY LANE AND YOU HIT ME, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. CHRISSY MAD. CHRISSY SMASH. i hope she gets gonorrhea and her face turns into a scrotum. suffice it to say, i had to buy a new bike – a 21 speed schwinn mountain bike with shocks.

when i cycle around the city, my sweat is 50% lube.

one of the best graffiti finds yet, near bathurst and dupont.

i definitely prefer stencil graffiti (and wheatpaste street art) over pure spray-paint writing.

the street lamp reminds me of Spitalfields and Brick Lane in London, haunted with jack the ripper and sherlocke holmes. i miss living in London most days when my ligaments tense up.

dark horse

Dark Horse on spadina.

the Fringe Theatre Festival is still going on, i’ve seen some amazing plays in the past week. one of my besties, Luis, wrote and stars in P-Dale, a sketch comedy piece about convenience-store-heist-ers who do everything wrong. there’s rapping, there’s dildo-masks, there’s ironic hipsters, and there’s a hand that gets blown off. it’s fricken brilliant. go see it!

another favourite was Swoon, which is essentially staged like a collective creation, cataloguing sweet and bittersweet moments that occur at the beginning and end of relationships. if the writing were an abode, it would be a shining castle.

when dusk hits the Fringe Tent, you’ll see me in flip flops and a dress that blows up every so often so i can see my feet, heading to the theatre to find something not yet written on my body.


if i was scared, i would, if i was bored, you know i would, if i was yours, but i’m not.


talk qwerty to me

welcome! i have found another way to waste time. huzzah!

now i’m the most wordpressiest wordpresser who ever wordpressed.

i use wordpress at work all day long, so there are many features i’m already acquainted with, but for the most part, i’m confused by it. Blogger is more user-friendly….in that, it’s idiot-proof. works well for a nOOb like me.

i will keep my old blogger up, so that people who have outdated links will find their way here. also, even though i imported all of my archives to wordpress, the import has caused them to double up (raymi has the same issue with her archives), so it’s a bit messy, with wonky formatting.

i used to redesign my blog once a year, but my previous purple design has been up since 2008. so i was overdue for a change. i have pretty much all of my old features up here. if you’re looking for the blogroll, it’s located in the links tab up above. my bio, my writing portfolio, my media coverage, it’s all pretty much here….just needs a bit of a clean up.

i don’t like the photo uploader wordpress has. i can upload several photos at once, no problem, BUT for whatever reason, i can only embed them in the post ONE AT A TIME. zomg pain in the ass, way to kibosh my wordpress-buzz.

so until someone tells me how to get around that, i’m going to continue to upload photos to picasa and just embed the links here.

thoughts, comments, and tips for improvement are all very welcome, as everything you see on this site at present was designed solely by me, and i barely know what i’m doing.

also, i’ve activated my domain email address -> christine@christineestima.com

dunno why i never activated it before, it came with the domain i bought.

prince wills and kate were hanging around “queen” and spadina (how apropos).

back off bitch, he’s mine.

what a similar photo. reg can be my kate middleton.

this was taken at Foursquare Day festivities . . . some sweet gifts were handed out, one being a hot red protective holder for my blackberry, it was pretty sweet, seeing as how i need one and didn’t even hafta pay for it. then later, i won a gift certificate to the sewing studio, which i’d never heard of before, but hey, i have some skirts that need hemming, might be fun to try it out. i’m holding up my winnings above with zach, reg, tony, sacha, john, and lauren‘s boyfriend whats-his-name.

 

oh good gawd. when horses are this lame, they shoot ’em.

i’m a chris,  he’s a chris . . . it’s chris squared.

brennan is the king of cool

i was trynna pull a geordie laforge here, i don’t think it quite worked

like glamour shots

was interviewed about my foursquare activities for a yet-to-be-seen vid. i look like a snobby venomous cunt in this shot, but trust me, i was adorable in the video.

i voted today at an advance polling station. since today is a holiday, i knew i’d have the time. may 2nd is a work day and i’ll probably be too whipped to make it out to the polling station. i arrived at the voting booth located in a catholic school, only to realize i wasn’t wearing a bra.

see! voting is sexy.

most torontonians are hearing about bullet for adolf now, a new play written and directed by woody harrelson that he’s premiering exclusively here, and not at some big monster theatre either, but at unassuming hart house. i knew about it way back in january when they announced that they were only casting non-union non-equity actors. i figured i might as well submit, didn’t get asked in for an audition, but considering the way i look and what they were looking for, i kinda understand why.

it’s produced by a couple friends of mine, and the entire cast is on my facebook. in addition, i attended this is our youth a bajillion years ago when woody harrelson directed it at canstage. i knew he was a great director, but i didn’t know what his writing skills were like….all of this compounded in my absolute NEED to see this play.

i bought my ticket well over a month ago, way before all these chumps now clamouring for tickets. i paid full price, and of course now, all the discounts for arts workers (me), tweeple (me), facebook friends (me) are coming out. pfft. whatever. i’m over it. booking so far in advance scored a wicked seat. row A seat 13..AKA FRONT ROW CENTRE. lots of leg room, no one’s head in my way, unobstructed view, felt like i was in the action.

i put a stupid little copyright on these photos, just in case anyone felt like stealing. anyway, the play was really funny! i was surprised, it was really well written, go harrelson. although it’s not the greatest piece of comedic theatre i’ve ever seen, i was humbly impressed, and i was actually expecting the worst. i think what made this play was the performances. specifically, i was blown away by david coomber as “clint” and billy petrovski as “dago czech.” brandon coffey was also note-perfect as woody’s alter ego “zack.” but specifically david coomber was a talent that i was not expecting. he was absolutely flawless, impeccable comic timing, acting chops like i’ve never seen. mark my words people, that dude is going places.

during intermission, an equity actress made a flippant remark about non-union talent that was so typical of the industry. she said that essentially she was shocked non-union actors were so good. stupid thing to say. you can’t measure talent like that. besides, paris hilton is a union actress .  . . remember that next time, will ya, when ya wanna shoot your mouth off.

the play started with woody harrelson popping up over the speaker and telling us to turn off our cells. cute. and away we go. the play weaves theatre with film sequences and 1980s nostalgia. it’s essentially a retelling (with bits embellished here and there) of woody’s time in texas working construction, the friends he made, the racial binds that gripped the time, and a really cool old german guy with a gun.

some of the best lines were about child molestation (‘sexy kids’) and about abstract art (“it’s someone’s lack of imagination asking you to apply your own.”)

it’s about love, it’s about life lessons, it’s about friendship, and it’s just a hella-funny story.

there was a talkback after the show, where woody and the cast answered questions from the audience. here woody is saying “thanks fer comin’, tell yurr friends!” in his thick southern drawl. woody loves toronto, he’s here all the fricken time, so i don’t think torontonians are particularly starstruck by the sight of him anymore. he does yoga shows here, he does vegan events, pot events, and like i said before, plays. toronto is the kind of place where celebs come because they don’t really get hassled here. we’re too polite to try to chat up a movie god. either that, or we just don’t care.

anyway, you should go see this play!

there were lots of celebs and media and notables in the industry the night i went, so surely it will be like that all through the run.

layne’s in town for a month. we’ve managed to hang out twice so far, and it’s always like we pick up where we left off. we try to stay in pretty constant contact over email anyway, so it’s easy to always launch right back into things. but it’s hard having a best friend live on the other side of the country. hell, i moved to london, then he moved to the land that time forgot (aka sasquatchenon aka saskatchewan). long distance friendships take effort, and we do our best. last night we had dinner at queen mother, then walked over to canstage to see the cosmonauts last message to the woman he once loved in the former soviet union (fanks ashley for tickets!)

that title is asking a lot from an audience, i think.

anyway, some of the cast members are my friends, so i was excited to see it. layne had sat in on the auditions last year and had read with the actors, so he sorta knew what the play was about.

it was . . . interesting.

how to sugar coat this?

it touched on some interesting notions of longing and technology and relationships . . . at least, i think.

sigh. it was bad. it was just bad. the first act was like watching paint dry, the second act picked up a bit in steam, but it was terribly flat like gwyneth paltrow’s singing voice.

i mean, raoul was great, but raoul’s always great. he’s an actor you can bank on. it was just surprising, seeing as how canstage’s season this year has been STELLAR. from fernando krapp, to the andersen project, to studies in motion, to the middle place, i have been consistently impressed with matthew jocelyn‘s choices.

now, not so much.

i hate saying this cuz i’m always encouraging people to see more theatre. but i suppose in order to know what good theatre is, you have to see a lot of bad theatre.


this was written on the wall at work. it accurately describes the content that i’m writing, the audience who reads it, and basically, myself. totally femmebitious fembot….i’m eFEMMEral (see what i did there?)

i’m so femmebitious that i’m the last one to leave the office every night. once i locked up at 9:30pm. i’ve only been there two weeks, but i’m really busting my hump, i want to learn everything, and i feel like my perfectionism is holding me back. i need to write more content in a day, but i keep lingering over phrases and words and sentence structure, i can’t just let things go.

the office already presented me with my business cards, which was pretty nifty. i’ve been to a couple events already, representing the publication, handing out my card, networking, trying to find story ideas. everyone so far has commented how cool my card is. #win.

speaking of work, i was sent by them this week to get a reiki treatment, and then write about it. and write i did.  my editors told me they thought it was a great article, but i think i came across a tad bitchy.

either way, it’s a funny piece about reiki and how, even though i’m all about alternative therapies, this was just a hill of beans.

read it and enjoy!

first wordpress blogpost done….only took me 12 hours.

hashtag fail.


take me to new york, i’d love to see LA, i really want to come kick it with you, you’ll be my american boy, american boy….

April 5th was officially 
the SIX YEAR anniversary for The Spadina Monologues!
i am a powerhouse. that’s dedication. seriously, i hope half you bloggers out there have the stamina and staying power that i’m displaying up in hurrr because it’s hard out here for a blog-pimp (“blimp?”)
 over the past 6 years, there’s been travelling, there’s been love affairs, there’s been heart-break, there’s been moving-to-the-other-side-of-the-planet, there’s been reality TV shows, there’s been hollywood movies, there’s been starfucking, there’s been global notoriety, there’s been more love affairs, more backpacking, more heart breaks….there’s been money and theatre and writing and successes….there’s been disasters, epic failures, major embarrassments, and friends-turned-to-foes….and it’s all here documented.
i live in public.
you’re welcome.
here’s to another six years! and to kiboshing all the competition.
i’m still in New York City and it’s like i’m doing a graffiti tour of this amazing city. my eye is trained now to find what everyone else just walks past and ignores. it’s even on the subway, and damn is it good.
this moustache guy is everywhere.
i found out the other day that my Masters Thesis has been put online by either York University, the National Library of Canada, or Google Books (no clue which one of these hosers actually took to the time to scan all 300 pages of this bitch). i wrote this monstrosity in 2006, and at the time, the university said i was on the cutting edge of this type of research in Canada and thusly nominated me for a university-wide graduate thesis award …
i’ve got intelligencia coming outta my academic-tuckus. i double dare you to read it. I TRIPLE DARE YOU.
while i was still in toronto a couple weeks ago, i did a whole bunch of test blogging for a health and wellness publication (you can read some of the articles i wrote in my online writing portfolio), and then they invited me in for an interview where i met the CEO. this particular publication is a female-run & female-targeted with offices both in Toronto and NYC. so when i told them during the interview that i was headed to NYC for a couple weeks, they suggested i meet up with the editors based there as well. so last week, a few days after arriving, i headed to their Broadway offices and met with the editors. we had a lovely chat about the trajectory of the company and other publications they have on the horizon and what not.
the next day, they called me and offered me a full-time staff writer position. if i accepted, i’d be based out of toronto, but there were a few hints here and there that after a year of employment, there would be the option to transfer me to NYC.
i asked them to send me the contract so i could give it a once over and ask some questions….and then thought about it over the weekend.
then promptly accepted the position early monday morning.
HUZZAH!
it’s so funny because as early as february, i was lamenting (read: bitching) to a colleague of mine how poorly freelance writers are treated and that staff writers usually get all the garlands. while i LOVE freelancing, don’t get me wrong, and will continue to freelance whilst in this company, it’s great to be STAFF.
plus, as you all know, i’m all about fostering women’s voices and stories, so to be with a by-women-for-women company is the epitome of awesomesauce.
this opportunity also just kinda fell into my lap. a guy that i had a fickle fling with last year knows the CEO and knew they were looking for writers, so he thought of me and sent me a message letting me know about it.
which was nice of him, considering the last time he was in toronto in january, he caused a shit-storm (you all remember that blog post). he has since atoned for his bad behaviour several times over, so i can’t hold anything against him. i’ll forever think of him fondly as a top lad.
FANKS HOMBRE!
speaking of fickle flings of the past, it would now appear that every single one of my ex’s has a girlfriend. all of ’em! from the helper-monkey i mentioned above, to the butt-munch who broke my heart over the holidays, to my old london and NYC ex’s, to even the dudes i just casually see… fucking hell, when did everyone start pairing off?
at present, i don’t have a love life to speak of.
none whatsoever.
not even a crush!
i ain’t complainin’ mind you. it’s kind of nice to be man-free. who needs a man when you have a life?
IF YOU HAVIN’ BOY PROBLEMS, I FEEL BAD FOR YA HUN
I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A DICK AIN’T ONE
(hit me)
over the weekend i went to go see a staged reading of the canadian play SIA, produced by Bridge Theatre Company, which was brought to my attention by fellow film critic Glenn Sumi who suggested i attend. i had heard about this play last summer when it went up at the Toronto Fringe, but i didn’t expect to see it in NYC! i was pretty excited to have a slice of home right in the heart of Broadway (well, 54th and 8th, more like)
Sia tells the story of a liberian brother and sister struggling to stay together before the war broke out, whilst simultaneously telling the story of a canadian traveler kidnapped during the war, and how both narratives intersect and affect one another.
and lemme tell ya, all my fellow theatre-addicts, this play, albeit brief (60 minutes? damn you fringe time restraints!), was THE BEST 60 MINUTES OF MY LIFE.

twas LOADED WITH BRILIANCE!
 it was relevant, timely, moving, poignant, heartbreaking, funny, clever, and for a mere staged reading, it was superbly acted by the performers.
also, layne’s daughter charlotte was reading the stage directions! i hadda email him and scold him for not telling me she was in NYC at the same time! also, i found out from running into her that he’s coming back to toronto next week. WAIT, WHAT? layne’s like one of my best friends ever, and he didn’t tell me!
he received a double scolding for that.
but hey, i get to see layne again next week!
last name WIN, first name EPIC.
huge crowd at the reception
the theatre was on the 13th floor of an old art-deco manhattan building, classic new york. the space was a large studio with floor-to-ceiling windows, so it kinda felt like we were experiencing theatre in the clouds. such a great atmosphere!
amber stop being so gorgeous, dammit.
there was a great talkback after the performance, and everyone from the performers, director, playwright, producers, and the audience had brilliant insights for the play and where it should go. i really hope this gets remounted soon because i would maim and mangle my own sister to see a full production of this play.
and you would too. trust me. you so would.
back to graffiti talk! this is why i’m in NYC to begin with, to research and explore street culture and graffiti art, and in my research i had stumbled across details and stories about an entire warehouse building in Queens called 5Pointz, so i knew i hadda check it out, and this was probably one of the single greatest discoveries of my time here. it’s one huge massive converted school (i think) that INVITES popular street artists to come and decorate their exteriors (and interiors). it’s almost like curated graffiti. and some of the stuff is so lovely and vibrant, that while i was there, wedding photos were being taken next to music videos that were being shot.
i was so giddy being here, look at this photojaculation!
awed at street level
it just goes on and on
it don’t matter where ya from!
hahaha rules were made to be broken
i read online that 5Pointz has been sold and will soon be turned into….wait for it….gentrified CONDOS!
ew.
people, if you’re in Queens in the near future, get yo’posterior to 5 Pointz before it’s gone!
i don’t know what ASVP is but dude’s stickers and posters are EVERYWHERE in new york! i can’t turn a corner without seeing a trace of him somewhere!
you KNOW i hadda get myself in on the action
i didn’t drink those brewsky’s on the steps but they sure add to the ‘tude i’m displaying in the photo
if my hip-hop album debut were about to drop, this would be the album cover, surely
blurred for her pleasure
what the hell was i doing here, sniffing the wall?
no no no, i retract that earlier statement…THIS would be my hip-hop album cover. nicely done, estima
aww bless.
wind blown
seriously, let me help you with that.
i mentioned in my last blog post that Jake Dobkin graciously let me interview him for research purposes. a few days later i found out that he was a panelist on the discussion of NYC street photography over at Union Docs in Williamsburg, so i headed over there to their cramped and over-heated space to attend the hotly-debated panel.
 it was actually fricken brilliant. three vastly different modes and approaches to street photography were explored and discussed and debated, but I think i preferred Jake’s approach because he was asking questions about systemic problems with street photography, rather than making hard and fast rules about what he thinks it should be.
there’s jake with his powerpoint presentation, well thought out.
… and ethnicities and the poor and the elderly and the disabled…and it goes for the cheap visual joke that isn’t always that funny…..
i took pages of detailed notes and thoughts during this talk that ended up lasting over two hours. i love how i’ve just really thrown myself into the scene here in NYC, you really gotta get your hands dirty if you’re going to discover anything about a counter-culture or sub-culture. you have to climb up a long ladder on your knees. you have to strike out for deep waters without drowning.
as i was leaving Union Docs, i walked past this amazing new piece that i didn’t see at first. it’s so powerful, and really draws your thoughts toward the socio-economic politics it’s portraying. it’s by street artist DOLK
and whoever added this dog with the shotgun is everywhere as well, cuz i’ve seen this exact same piece in soho!
speaking of soho….when you’re walking through soho…or along houston….or through alphabet city…or the east village….remember to keep your eyes averted to the north. specifically, don’t walk by any lamp post or sign pole without inspecting it….what’s so great about this one, you ask? look closer..
IT HAS A FRICKEN SHEPARD FAIREY “andre the giant obey” STICKER ON IT!!!
these posters and stickers are SO hard to find now because most of them have been taken down….street art in general has such a short shelf life, so finding something like this is a real find. a coup, if you will. if you don’t know the infamous Shepard Fairey by name, you definitely know his work. remember this poster? of course you do. well, guess who was behind it!
omfguy no way, there’s TWO stickers on this pole. BRAINGASM.
you shoulda seen me when i found these stickers. i literally squealed out loud, rushed to find my camera, and started jumping up and down giggling like a school girl as i got happy-snappy with the point-and-shoot. you’d think i’d just won the lottery or something.
speaking of winning the lottery, as i walked through alphabet city, i looked up to see ANOTHER rare rare rare find on the wall. see it?
IT’S A SPACE INVADER!! again, most of space invader’s work has been taken down or has disappeared, so finding one still lurking about is a real treat!!
GIDDY, I TELLS YA!! i actually didn’t want to walk away from it, i just wanted to stay next to it like i was in an afterglow
haw haw haw!! get it??
alphabet city and the east village have all kinds of these hidden gardens (open to the public) where former occupied space is turned into reclaimed nature.
i’m cute as a bug.
but street artists have cleverly melded some messages even in the gardens. LOVES IT.
i should  put this sticker on every bad boyfriend i’ve ever had
hoot.
yo i’ll put it blunt if that’s what you want, yo i am a cunt and that’s what you want, you take afront, just shake ya butt, just shake ya butt New York City!! WHAT?
why did i take a photo of this comic book store? remember this episode? it’s kinda my favourite episode of the series…of all time.
katsu‘s been getting a lot of press lately….but his stuff is taken down before i get a chance to see it!
this was a massively HUUUUGE mural off of Bowery….i know i’ve seen this artist before, can someone fill a sister in?
this piece off of Bowery as well was fresh, done in the past few weeks, i reckon. it was on the wall of hotel, so surely they’ll remove it soon. but it’s so lovely….same artist as above i think
seriously, who did this? I LOVE IT.
how embarrassing it would be if you knew what i was thinking of.
found this buried in a deep dark alleyway off of bleeker.
i love you too, random small sticker on a lamp post!
so amber is taking guitar lessons, and her dorky-hot guitar teacher was playing in a live jazz band at 55 Bar in Greenwich Village, so we went to check him out…..is listening to jazz in a musky bar in the village just a little too precious? yes.
was it awesome? also yes.
we’re so smiley cute.
now we’re sexy
now we’re cute again!!
i had just gone for a run in the Cobble Hill area of brooklyn earlier in the day, so i couldn’t stay too long in the night (was exhausted from all the beauty in Cobble Hill more than the run!), but i’m glad i checked out the gaybourhood jazz of greenwich at least!
i’m now crashing on a friend’s couch in williamsburg, and since i’ve been there, i’ve already bought myself a great pair of cheap second hand Chuck Taylors (fuck you The Public Butter!! trynna charge $20 for beat-up Chucks? kiss my ass!)  AND i’ve gone for a run through the area which is populated mostly by hasidic jews….
hasidic jews are a weird bunch. technically they’re not allowed to touch women, but they wouldn’t get out of my way as i was barreling toward them in my running shoes and sweat shirt. seriously, the street was LOADED  with them, i felt like i was in 1930s Poland…or a Russian shtetl….except they were on cell phones….or behind the wheel of their SUVs.
i think the hasids were staring at me because i was wearing tights and running which i guess could be considered unladylike to them. whatever, it’s a free country (wait…is it?). just cuz hasidic jews occupy the area doesn’t mean i can’t jog through it.
although i had to suppress the urge to slap one of them on the ass as i sprinted by. that woulda been hella-funny and loaded with WIN. i didn’t though, sorry raibbis!
why yes. yes you do.
look at the size of an extra large Timmy’s here!! no wonder americans are so fat, it’s like a litre of coffee!! what is this, a Big Gulp?
it’s bigger than four hands!
today is my last full day in NYC, tomorrow i return to Toronto.
being in NYC these past two weeks really has been something. I have done so much, seen so much, met some really cool people, and i feel like i’ve achieved something. a working holiday in the true sense of the word, my writing has definitely been given a shot in the arm. i am so inspired. in fact, i kinda already feel like a new yorker. i know my way around, i know where everything is, and i’m rejecting all the tourist-y bullshit-y things that people generally do in NYC in favour of a more local experience.
i could live here.
wait, let me retype that.
I (could) live here.
I live here.

>take me to new york, i’d love to see LA, i really want to come kick it with you, you’ll be my american boy, american boy….

>

April 5th was officially 
the SIX YEAR anniversary for The Spadina Monologues! 
i am a powerhouse. that’s dedication. seriously, i hope half you bloggers out there have the stamina and staying power that i’m displaying up in hurrr because it’s hard out here for a blog-pimp (“blimp?”)
 over the past 6 years, there’s been travelling, there’s been love affairs, there’s been heart-break, there’s been moving-to-the-other-side-of-the-planet, there’s been reality TV shows, there’s been hollywood movies, there’s been starfucking, there’s been global notoriety, there’s been more love affairs, more backpacking, more heart breaks….there’s been money and theatre and writing and successes….there’s been disasters, epic failures, major embarrassments, and friends-turned-to-foes….and it’s all here documented. 
i live in public.
you’re welcome.
here’s to another six years! and to kiboshing all the competition.

i’m still in New York City and it’s like i’m doing a graffiti tour of this amazing city. my eye is trained now to find what everyone else just walks past and ignores. it’s even on the subway, and damn is it good.

this moustache guy is everywhere.

i found out the other day that my Masters Thesis has been put online by either York University, the National Library of Canada, or Google Books (no clue which one of these hosers actually took to the time to scan all 300 pages of this bitch). i wrote this monstrosity in 2006, and at the time, the university said i was on the cutting edge of this type of research in Canada and thusly nominated me for a university-wide graduate thesis award …
i’ve got intelligencia coming outta my academic-tuckus. i double dare you to read it. I TRIPLE DARE YOU.

while i was still in toronto a couple weeks ago, i did a whole bunch of test blogging for a health and wellness publication (you can read some of the articles i wrote in my online writing portfolio), and then they invited me in for an interview where i met the CEO. this particular publication is a female-run & female-targeted with offices both in Toronto and NYC. so when i told them during the interview that i was headed to NYC for a couple weeks, they suggested i meet up with the editors based there as well. so last week, a few days after arriving, i headed to their Broadway offices and met with the editors. we had a lovely chat about the trajectory of the company and other publications they have on the horizon and what not.
the next day, they called me and offered me a full-time staff writer position. if i accepted, i’d be based out of toronto, but there were a few hints here and there that after a year of employment, there would be the option to transfer me to NYC.
i asked them to send me the contract so i could give it a once over and ask some questions….and then thought about it over the weekend.
then promptly accepted the position early monday morning.
HUZZAH!

it’s so funny because as early as february, i was lamenting (read: bitching) to a colleague of mine how poorly freelance writers are treated and that staff writers usually get all the garlands. while i LOVE freelancing, don’t get me wrong, and will continue to freelance whilst in this company, it’s great to be STAFF.
plus, as you all know, i’m all about fostering women’s voices and stories, so to be with a by-women-for-women company is the epitome of awesomesauce.
this opportunity also just kinda fell into my lap. a guy that i had a fickle fling with last year knows the CEO and knew they were looking for writers, so he thought of me and sent me a message letting me know about it.
which was nice of him, considering the last time he was in toronto in january, he caused a shit-storm (you all remember that blog post). he has since atoned for his bad behaviour several times over, so i can’t hold anything against him. i’ll forever think of him fondly as a top lad.

FANKS HOMBRE!

speaking of fickle flings of the past, it would now appear that every single one of my ex’s has a girlfriend. all of ’em! from the helper-monkey i mentioned above, to the butt-munch who broke my heart over the holidays, to my old london and NYC ex’s, to even the dudes i just casually see… fucking hell, when did everyone start pairing off?
at present, i don’t have a love life to speak of.
none whatsoever.
not even a crush!
i ain’t complainin’ mind you. it’s kind of nice to be man-free. who needs a man when you have a life?
IF YOU HAVIN’ BOY PROBLEMS, I FEEL BAD FOR YA HUN
I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A DICK AIN’T ONE
(hit me)

over the weekend i went to go see a staged reading of the canadian play SIA, produced by Bridge Theatre Company, which was brought to my attention by fellow film critic Glenn Sumi who suggested i attend. i had heard about this play last summer when it went up at the Toronto Fringe, but i didn’t expect to see it in NYC! i was pretty excited to have a slice of home right in the heart of Broadway (well, 54th and 8th, more like)

Sia tells the story of a liberian brother and sister struggling to stay together before the war broke out, whilst simultaneously telling the story of a canadian traveler kidnapped during the war, and how both narratives intersect and affect one another.
and lemme tell ya, all my fellow theatre-addicts, this play, albeit brief (60 minutes? damn you fringe time restraints!), was THE BEST 60 MINUTES OF MY LIFE.

twas LOADED WITH BRILIANCE!
 it was relevant, timely, moving, poignant, heartbreaking, funny, clever, and for a mere staged reading, it was superbly acted by the performers.
also, layne’s daughter charlotte was reading the stage directions! i hadda email him and scold him for not telling me she was in NYC at the same time! also, i found out from running into her that he’s coming back to toronto next week. WAIT, WHAT? layne’s like one of my best friends ever, and he didn’t tell me!
he received a double scolding for that.
but hey, i get to see layne again next week!
last name WIN, first name EPIC.

huge crowd at the reception
the theatre was on the 13th floor of an old art-deco manhattan building, classic new york. the space was a large studio with floor-to-ceiling windows, so it kinda felt like we were experiencing theatre in the clouds. such a great atmosphere!

amber stop being so gorgeous, dammit.
there was a great talkback after the performance, and everyone from the performers, director, playwright, producers, and the audience had brilliant insights for the play and where it should go. i really hope this gets remounted soon because i would maim and mangle my own sister to see a full production of this play.
and you would too. trust me. you so would.
back to graffiti talk! this is why i’m in NYC to begin with, to research and explore street culture and graffiti art, and in my research i had stumbled across details and stories about an entire warehouse building in Queens called 5Pointz, so i knew i hadda check it out, and this was probably one of the single greatest discoveries of my time here. it’s one huge massive converted school (i think) that INVITES popular street artists to come and decorate their exteriors (and interiors). it’s almost like curated graffiti. and some of the stuff is so lovely and vibrant, that while i was there, wedding photos were being taken next to music videos that were being shot. 
i was so giddy being here, look at this photojaculation!

awed at street level

it just goes on and on
it don’t matter where ya from!
hahaha rules were made to be broken

i read online that 5Pointz has been sold and will soon be turned into….wait for it….gentrified CONDOS!
ew.
people, if you’re in Queens in the near future, get yo’posterior to 5 Pointz before it’s gone!

i don’t know what ASVP is but dude’s stickers and posters are EVERYWHERE in new york! i can’t turn a corner without seeing a trace of him somewhere!

you KNOW i hadda get myself in on the action
i didn’t drink those brewsky’s on the steps but they sure add to the ‘tude i’m displaying in the photo

if my hip-hop album debut were about to drop, this would be the album cover, surely
blurred for her pleasure

what the hell was i doing here, sniffing the wall?
no no no, i retract that earlier statement…THIS would be my hip-hop album cover. nicely done, estima
aww bless.
wind blown
seriously, let me help you with that.

i mentioned in my last blog post that Jake Dobkin graciously let me interview him for research purposes. a few days later i found out that he was a panelist on the discussion of NYC street photography over at Union Docs in Williamsburg, so i headed over there to their cramped and over-heated space to attend the hotly-debated panel.
 it was actually fricken brilliant. three vastly different modes and approaches to street photography were explored and discussed and debated, but I think i preferred Jake’s approach because he was asking questions about systemic problems with street photography, rather than making hard and fast rules about what he thinks it should be.

there’s jake with his powerpoint presentation, well thought out.
… and ethnicities and the poor and the elderly and the disabled…and it goes for the cheap visual joke that isn’t always that funny…..
i took pages of detailed notes and thoughts during this talk that ended up lasting over two hours. i love how i’ve just really thrown myself into the scene here in NYC, you really gotta get your hands dirty if you’re going to discover anything about a counter-culture or sub-culture. you have to climb up a long ladder on your knees. you have to strike out for deep waters without drowning.

as i was leaving Union Docs, i walked past this amazing new piece that i didn’t see at first. it’s so powerful, and really draws your thoughts toward the socio-economic politics it’s portraying.
and whoever added this dog with the shotgun is everywhere as well, cuz i’ve seen this exact same piece in soho!
speaking of soho….when you’re walking through soho…or along houston….or through alphabet city…or the east village….remember to keep your eyes averted to the north. specifically, don’t walk by any lamp post or sign pole without inspecting it….what’s so great about this one, you ask? look closer..
IT HAS A FRICKEN SHEPARD FAIREY “andre the giant obey” STICKER ON IT!!!
these posters and stickers are SO hard to find now because most of them have been taken down….street art in general has such a short shelf life, so finding something like this is a real find. a coup, if you will. if you don’t know the infamous Shepard Fairey by name, you definitely know his work. remember this poster? of course you do. well, guess who was behind it!
omfguy no way, there’s TWO stickers on this pole. BRAINGASM.
you shoulda seen me when i found these stickers. i literally squealed out loud, rushed to find my camera, and started jumping up and down giggling like a school girl as i got happy-snappy with the point-and-shoot. you’d think i’d just won the lottery or something.
speaking of winning the lottery, as i walked through alphabet city, i looked up to see ANOTHER rare rare rare find on the wall. see it?
IT’S A SPACE INVADER!! again, most of space invader’s work has been taken down or has disappeared, so finding one still lurking about is a real treat!!

GIDDY, I TELLS YA!! i actually didn’t want to walk away from it, i just wanted to stay next to it like i was in an afterglow
haw haw haw!! get it??

alphabet city and the east village have all kinds of these hidden gardens (open to the public) where former occupied space is turned into reclaimed nature.

i’m cute as a bug.

but street artists have cleverly melded some messages even in the gardens. LOVES IT.

i should  put this sticker on every bad boyfriend i’ve ever had
hoot.
yo i’ll put it blunt if that’s what you want, yo i am a cunt and that’s what you want, you take afront, just shake ya butt, just shake ya butt New York City!! WHAT?
why did i take a photo of this comic book store? remember this episode? it’s kinda my favourite episode of the series…of all time.
katsu‘s been getting a lot of press lately….but his stuff is taken down before i get a chance to see it!
this was a massively HUUUUGE mural off of Bowery….i know i’ve seen this artist before, can someone fill a sister in?
this piece off of Bowery as well was fresh, done in the past few weeks, i reckon. it was on the wall of hotel, so surely they’ll remove it soon. but it’s so lovely….same artist as above i think
seriously, who did this? I LOVE IT.

how embarrassing it would be if you knew what i was thinking of.
found this buried in a deep dark alleyway off of bleeker.
i love you too, random small sticker on a lamp post!
so amber is taking guitar lessons, and her dorky-hot guitar teacher was playing in a live jazz band at 55 Bar in Greenwich Village, so we went to check him out…..is listening to jazz in a musky bar in the village just a little too precious? yes.
was it awesome? also yes.
we’re so smiley cute.
now we’re sexy
now we’re cute again!!
i had just gone for a run in the Cobble Hill area of brooklyn earlier in the day, so i couldn’t stay too long in the night (was exhausted from all the beauty in Cobble Hill more than the run!), but i’m glad i checked out the gaybourhood jazz of greenwich at least!

i’m now crashing on a friend’s couch in williamsburg, and since i’ve been there, i’ve already bought myself a great pair of cheap second hand Chuck Taylors (fuck you The Public Butter!! trynna charge $20 for beat-up Chucks? kiss my ass!)  AND i’ve gone for a run through the area which is populated mostly by hasidic jews….
hasidic jews are a weird bunch. technically they’re not allowed to touch women, but they wouldn’t get out of my way as i was barreling toward them in my running shoes and sweat shirt. seriously, the street was LOADED  with them, i felt like i was in 1930s Poland…or a Russian shtetl….except they were on cell phones….or behind the wheel of their SUVs.
i think the hasids were staring at me because i was wearing tights and running which i guess could be considered unladylike to them. whatever, it’s a free country (wait…is it?). just cuz hasidic jews occupy the area doesn’t mean i can’t jog through it.
although i had to suppress the urge to slap one of them on the ass as i sprinted by. that woulda been hella-funny and loaded with WIN. i didn’t though, sorry raibbis!

why yes. yes you do.
look at the size of an extra large Timmy’s here!! no wonder americans are so fat, it’s like a litre of coffee!! what is this, a Big Gulp?
it’s bigger than four hands!
today is my last full day in NYC, tomorrow i return to Toronto.
being in NYC these past two weeks really has been something. I have done so much, seen so much, met some really cool people, and i feel like i’ve achieved something. a working holiday in the true sense of the word, my writing has definitely been given a shot in the arm. i am so inspired. in fact, i kinda already feel like a new yorker. i know my way around, i know where everything is, and i’m rejecting all the tourist-y bullshit-y things that people generally do in NYC in favour of a more local experience.
i could live here.
wait, let me retype that.
I (could) live here.

I live here.

if you’re the chosen one, how does it feel to be loved by no one?

  
Twestival Toronto . . .  all my last minute decisions are usually the best ones. 

laundry day necessitated the wearing of an American Apparel onesie bathing suit under an Asos black skirt. prêt à porter stroke of genius. 

 love my boyeeeeez 

the great thing about tweetups is that not only do you get to hang with your favourite tweeple, you get to meet so many others, and your corner grows. finally met some contacts in person for the first time, and i had several followers come up to me, exclaiming, “you’re christine!” with a handshake and a hug. others told me they saw me but didn’t have the balls to come say hi. tsk tsk my tweeple! it’s a tweetup!  never be afraid to say hi. 
i should preface that by saying that i have a horrible memory and won’t recognize you unless you tell your name right away….and if we’ve met once before, just remind me of that….seriously….it’s kind of stupid. 

canadian election time. i think the winner should be determined by robot wars.

i auditioned for the American Idiot broadway tour this morning, loaded with so many babies fresh outta high school with loads of talent being suppressed by their insecure body issues and fear of charisma that’s instilled from the annals of high school. being probably the oldest there gave me a sense of security and confidence that clearly others there didn’t have, but i’m not a trained singer. i think i have a kickass singing voice, however, but i’m not trained in breathing or scales or octaves or whatever operatics are comprised of. so i just chose a song i enjoyed in my range, picked a fun outfit, and showed up super early to avoid freezing in the long lines. they said auditions would begin at 11am. i was in line at 8am.

Gif Created on Make A Gif

when you make the decision to go to a cattle calls   open call, you are accepting the fact that you will be treated poorly, wait outside in the bitter cold, and basically be reduced to a number in the herd. but i still saw a few friendly faces i knew from around the theatre scene, and out of the hundreds that turned up, i was lucky number 50 to be seen. was done my audition by 11:08am. i’m proud of what i did, hit all my notes and gave ’em a go.

i sang this song because it has a punk rock message….and also because it’s what i secretly wanted to say to the auditioners for being twats. as i sang the chorus, i pretended i was mocking the lady behind the table. that felt good.

not holding my breath for a call-back. but hey, i had a giggle and a good time.

my bus to NYC leaves at 6:15am tomorrow.

here goes something.


>if you’re the chosen one, how does it feel to be loved by no one?

>

  
Twestival Toronto . . .  all my last minute decisions are usually the best ones. 

laundry day necessitated the wearing of an American Apparel onesie bathing suit under an Asos black skirt. prêt à porter stroke of genius. 

 love my boyeeeeez 

the great thing about tweetups is that not only do you get to hang with your favourite tweeple, you get to meet so many others, and your corner grows. finally met some contacts in person for the first time, and i had several followers come up to me, exclaiming, “you’re christine!” with a handshake and a hug. others told me they saw me but didn’t have the balls to come say hi. tsk tsk my tweeple! it’s a tweetup!  never be afraid to say hi. 
i should preface that by saying that i have a horrible memory and won’t recognize you unless you tell your name right away….and if we’ve met once before, just remind me of that….seriously….it’s kind of stupid. 

canadian election time. i think the winner should be determined by robot wars.

i auditioned for the American Idiot broadway tour this morning, loaded with so many babies fresh outta high school with loads of talent being suppressed by their insecure body issues and fear of charisma that’s instilled from the annals of high school. being probably the oldest there gave me a sense of security and confidence that clearly others there didn’t have, but i’m not a trained singer. i think i have a kickass singing voice, however, but i’m not trained in breathing or scales or octaves or whatever operatics are comprised of. so i just chose a song i enjoyed in my range, picked a fun outfit, and showed up super early to avoid freezing in the long lines. they said auditions would begin at 11am. i was in line at 8am.

Gif Created on Make A Gif

when you make the decision to go to a cattle calls   open call, you are accepting the fact that you will be treated poorly, wait outside in the bitter cold, and basically be reduced to a number in the herd. but i still saw a few friendly faces i knew from around the theatre scene, and out of the hundreds that turned up, i was lucky number 50 to be seen. was done my audition by 11:08am. i’m proud of what i did, hit all my notes and gave ’em a go.

i sang this song because it has a punk rock message….and also because it’s what i secretly wanted to say to the auditioners for being twats. as i sang the chorus, i pretended i was mocking the lady behind the table. that felt good.

not holding my breath for a call-back. but hey, i had a giggle and a good time.

my bus to NYC leaves at 6:15am tomorrow.

here goes something.


i’m moving to new york cause i got problems with my sleep

yes i CAN wiggle my ears! suck it, haterrrrzzzz!

more of my articles have gone live up on BlissTree. I’ve been writing my fingers off, and it’s kinda great to feel carpal tunnel whilst simultaneously delivering so much content on a daily basis, gets me motivated to do so much more writing. i have so many ideas! i’m oh so hire-able! this article I wrote called Eat Pray Burn was a lot of fun actually, it’s about how wealthy white women are more prone to melanoma, according to a new study!


this article was also rather fun because i was scoffing at all these news studies that essentially tell people good news about their bad habits. in Scare Tactics i poke fun at an article that says old people will die if they try to workout or have sex!

this article i wrote on Potassium Iodide is more of a news-y article, documenting the recent radiation scare from Japan and how Canadians are buying up all the Potassium Iodide pills from the shops out west

i also wrote a really cool essay about last week when i was sick and a Drug-Free Experiment i did….basically, instead of relying on over-the-counter cold meds to get through the cold, i took nothing but natural supplements, and had some interesting results. read on, pilgrims.

 i leave for New York Cittttt-Aaaaay on sunday, i’ll be staying at the Coward Johnson’s (aka friend’s couches) and i’m so superfunhappyballs about it that i’m bursting with fruit flavour (taste the flavour).  i’ve done almost next to no planning for it either. all i know is i have a ticket to see The Daily Show with Jon Stewart one day, a few off-off-off-broadway shows i kinda wanna see another day, and some graffiti-artist-street-art-areas i deffo wanna scope out for a scoop…

….other than that, i am at liberty.

 i am going to write and wander and be a flanneur and be the most anonymous ghost in the city where everyone walks and everyone talks.
astoria, brooklyn, and williamsburg, you are about to get the Estima-Bump.
or as nus likes to call it, “Incestima’d.”

that being said, i dunno if i’ll have the time to blog before i leave.
so this friday, i want you all to show up at 7pm at the Tarragon Theatre to see me in a musical! it’s part of the paprika festival, it’s called Alligator Tears, and i play the town gossip (how apropos). I sing A LOT with a few solos (kill me now), and tickets are only $10.

 all the info you’ll need is here 

 photo by rob kempson, during rehearsal for Alligator Tears, you can see my un-make-up’d mug in the background
also, i’m not gonna talk too much about this because i don’t want to jinx it, but last week i was telling a friend about a big audition i heard about that’s happening this saturday in toronto. now i’m not an actor by trade (although all evidence to contrary, lately), but i do enjoy being in a play or musical every now and then. i do about one a year (and believe me, that’s plenty). anyway, it struck me as i was trying to encourage my friend to go the audition (he refused), that i should be saying this to myself.  i thought, “why don’t i go? i’ve got stuff prepared… might as well give it a go. will brush up on my audition-skills. have a giggle.”
considering this big audition is probably gonna cause huge line-ups and half of toronto’s hopefuls will be there, i am under no delusions that i have shot in hell, especially since i’m leaving for NEW YORK CITTTT-AAAYYY the next day, but hey, even gretzsky said “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” so yes,  i’ll be there early in the morning, freezing my vocal chords in the unseasonable march-sadness weather, but imma be there nonetheless.
wish me luck! (don’t say macbeth)

RIP 





your heroine went to three amazing press screenings last week for upcoming films. these are serious givin’r movies, mark my words. i was really impressed, because lately the only things i’ve been invited to are bullshit hollywood wank-fests.

the first was west is west, which is the long-awaited sequel to brit classic east is east.

then there was the LUMINOUS certified copy, which earned juliette binoche (love her) a best actress award at Cannes

finally it was family-friendly heartwarming drama win win starring montreal-hard-on-boy paul giamatti

you will have a hard time finding flaws with these three vastly differing but immensely rich films. go see them when they open. YOU’RE WELCOME.
also, another thing imma remain tight-lipped about (but am very optimistic about my chances) is an opportunity that has just arisen for me to stay in the south of france this upcoming fall at a chateau and blog for them with some funding. if i can organize inexpensive enough travel there (and secure the grant-attached writing gig i’m applying for in conjunction with this opportunity), this could really be something.
wish me luck! (don’t say tartuffe)
et c’est parti. 
on y va à new york 
à la prochaine, toronto!

>i’m moving to new york cause i got problems with my sleep

>

yes i CAN wiggle my ears! suck it, haterrrrzzzz!

more of my articles have gone live up on BlissTree. I’ve been writing my fingers off, and it’s kinda great to feel carpal tunnel whilst simultaneously delivering so much content on a daily basis, gets me motivated to do so much more writing. i have so many ideas! i’m oh so hire-able! this article I wrote called Eat Pray Burn was a lot of fun actually, it’s about how wealthy white women are more prone to melanoma, according to a new study!


this article was also rather fun because i was scoffing at all these news studies that essentially tell people good news about their bad habits. in Scare Tactics i poke fun at an article that says old people will die if they try to workout or have sex!

this article i wrote on Potassium Iodide is more of a news-y article, documenting the recent radiation scare from Japan and how Canadians are buying up all the Potassium Iodide pills from the shops out west

i also wrote a really cool essay about last week when i was sick and a Drug-Free Experiment i did….basically, instead of relying on over-the-counter cold meds to get through the cold, i took nothing but natural supplements, and had some interesting results. read on, pilgrims.

 i leave for New York Cittttt-Aaaaay on sunday, i’ll be staying at the Coward Johnson’s (aka friend’s couches) and i’m so superfunhappyballs about it that i’m bursting with fruit flavour (taste the flavour).  i’ve done almost next to no planning for it either. all i know is i have a ticket to see The Daily Show with Jon Stewart one day, a few off-off-off-broadway shows i kinda wanna see another day, and some graffiti-artist-street-art-areas i deffo wanna scope out for a scoop…

….other than that, i am at liberty.

 i am going to write and wander and be a flanneur and be the most anonymous ghost in the city where everyone walks and everyone talks.
astoria, brooklyn, and williamsburg, you are about to get the Estima-Bump.
or as nus likes to call it, “Incestima’d.”

that being said, i dunno if i’ll have the time to blog before i leave.
so this friday, i want you all to show up at 7pm at the Tarragon Theatre to see me in a musical! it’s part of the paprika festival, it’s called Alligator Tears, and i play the town gossip (how apropos). I sing A LOT with a few solos (kill me now), and tickets are only $10.

 all the info you’ll need is here 

 photo by rob kempson, during rehearsal for Alligator Tears, you can see my un-make-up’d mug in the background
also, i’m not gonna talk too much about this because i don’t want to jinx it, but last week i was telling a friend about a big audition i heard about that’s happening this saturday in toronto. now i’m not an actor by trade (although all evidence to contrary, lately), but i do enjoy being in a play or musical every now and then. i do about one a year (and believe me, that’s plenty). anyway, it struck me as i was trying to encourage my friend to go the audition (he refused), that i should be saying this to myself.  i thought, “why don’t i go? i’ve got stuff prepared… might as well give it a go. will brush up on my audition-skills. have a giggle.”
considering this big audition is probably gonna cause huge line-ups and half of toronto’s hopefuls will be there, i am under no delusions that i have shot in hell, especially since i’m leaving for NEW YORK CITTTT-AAAYYY the next day, but hey, even gretzsky said “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” so yes,  i’ll be there early in the morning, freezing my vocal chords in the unseasonable march-sadness weather, but imma be there nonetheless.
wish me luck! (don’t say macbeth)

RIP 





your heroine went to three amazing press screenings last week for upcoming films. these are serious givin’r movies, mark my words. i was really impressed, because lately the only things i’ve been invited to are bullshit hollywood wank-fests.

the first was west is west, which is the long-awaited sequel to brit classic east is east.

then there was the LUMINOUS certified copy, which earned juliette binoche (love her) a best actress award at Cannes

finally it was family-friendly heartwarming drama win win starring montreal-hard-on-boy paul giamatti

you will have a hard time finding flaws with these three vastly differing but immensely rich films. go see them when they open. YOU’RE WELCOME.
also, another thing imma remain tight-lipped about (but am very optimistic about my chances) is an opportunity that has just arisen for me to stay in the south of france this upcoming fall at a chateau and blog for them with some funding. if i can organize inexpensive enough travel there (and secure the grant-attached writing gig i’m applying for in conjunction with this opportunity), this could really be something.
wish me luck! (don’t say tartuffe)
et c’est parti. 
on y va à new york 
à la prochaine, toronto!

i’m a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower. ooh! i’m making six bucks an hour!

i have been working on so many freelance writing assignments lately. so much so that my Online Writing Portfolio required a massive overhaul!

i think my fingers have lost all feeling. pencils worn down to angry inches. laptop keyboard letters rubbed off in frenzied fury. deadlines deadlines deadlines! the life of a writer is never easy but it can be exciting….exclamation point.

check out my film review of the latest adaptation of Jane Eyre, starring smoking hot Michael Fassbender and Jamie Bell. my two wet dreams packed into one cinematic nocturnal emission.

also check out my film review of When We Leave, a german-turkish film that stars former porn star Sibel Kekilli, of Head-On fame (gegen die wand!)

i also wrote a DVD review of Room In Rome . . . two lezzers + one boiled cucumber= bullshit drama. shame on you Julio Medem!

i’ve started freelancing for BlissTree, a health-related blog for women over 30. nothing cutesy and sparse use of exclamation points. i’m not 100% sure if this freelance gig is locked-down, i think there’s still some negotiations to be had, but they’ve published three of my articles already, so i’m hoping more assignments are around the corner….

 my first blog for them is Exercise in Bed: Sex is Good for You! WARNING: MAY CONTAIN A DILDO-BOMB AND A STRAP-ON ASIDE…..NSFW. or is it??? hmmmmm.
secondly, i wrote a blog called Is This An Eating Disorder? which explores how far women will take their portion control and meal plans in the quest for perfection….and on the flip side, how forgetting these rules can damage your health. if you’re skinny or if you’re fat (which applies to everyone, i think), please read and comment!
finally, this blog is a bit more of a personal essay, i wrote The Vegetarian High Protein Low Carb Experiment: A Cautionary Tale. it explores where vegetarians get their protein, and also how the low-carb thing is a bunch of shit.
i don’t just write, fyi…. 
i sing! i act! i kibosh everyone who dares step into my spotlight!
 i’m like lana turner, but with talent.
boo-yah.
case in point:
i’m in a staged reading of a musical called Alligator Tears, which is part of this year’s Paprika Fest. today’s performance at 1pm  is free, and on the 25th the performance at 7pm is only $10 (it’s a benefit for the fest) so if you miss todays, please come to the benefit. I play Jeanette the town gossip, and I sing A LOT in this and have a few solos, so come check me out. The show is at the Tarragon Theatre, and if you click on all of those fricken links I just embedded you’ll find all the info you need. Hope to see you at the theatre!

allegra and I, going all lezzer at #loserkaraoke on St Patrick’s Day. Mild concern? Humbug.

i love cracking masculine codes.

i’d like to hang out more” means “i want to have sex with you.”

come over and we’ll watch a DVD” means “we’re having sex.”

…and, of course…

i don’t have the time to give you the attention you deserve” means “a relationship with you? dream on.”

just call a spade a spade.


>i’m a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower. ooh! i’m making six bucks an hour!

>

i have been working on so many freelance writing assignments lately. so much so that my Online Writing Portfolio required a massive overhaul!

i think my fingers have lost all feeling. pencils worn down to angry inches. laptop keyboard letters rubbed off in frenzied fury. deadlines deadlines deadlines! the life of a writer is never easy but it can be exciting….exclamation point.

check out my film review of the latest adaptation of Jane Eyre, starring smoking hot Michael Fassbender and Jamie Bell. my two wet dreams packed into one cinematic nocturnal emission.

also check out my film review of When We Leave, a german-turkish film that stars former porn star Sibel Kekilli, of Head-On fame (gegen die wand!)

i also wrote a DVD review of Room In Rome . . . two lezzers + one boiled cucumber= bullshit drama. shame on you Julio Medem!

i’ve started freelancing for BlissTree, a health-related blog for women over 30. nothing cutesy and sparse use of exclamation points. i’m not 100% sure if this freelance gig is locked-down, i think there’s still some negotiations to be had, but they’ve published three of my articles already, so i’m hoping more assignments are around the corner….

 my first blog for them is Exercise in Bed: Sex is Good for You! WARNING: MAY CONTAIN A DILDO-BOMB AND A STRAP-ON ASIDE…..NSFW. or is it??? hmmmmm.
secondly, i wrote a blog called Is This An Eating Disorder? which explores how far women will take their portion control and meal plans in the quest for perfection….and on the flip side, how forgetting these rules can damage your health. if you’re skinny or if you’re fat (which applies to everyone, i think), please read and comment!
finally, this blog is a bit more of a personal essay, i wrote The Vegetarian High Protein Low Carb Experiment: A Cautionary Tale. it explores where vegetarians get their protein, and also how the low-carb thing is a bunch of shit.
i don’t just write, fyi…. 
i sing! i act! i kibosh everyone who dares step into my spotlight!
 i’m like lana turner, but with talent.
boo-yah.
case in point:
i’m in a staged reading of a musical called Alligator Tears, which is part of this year’s Paprika Fest. today’s performance at 1pm  is free, and on the 25th the performance at 7pm is only $10 (it’s a benefit for the fest) so if you miss todays, please come to the benefit. I play Jeanette the town gossip, and I sing A LOT in this and have a few solos, so come check me out. The show is at the Tarragon Theatre, and if you click on all of those fricken links I just embedded you’ll find all the info you need. Hope to see you at the theatre!

allegra and I, going all lezzer at #loserkaraoke on St Patrick’s Day. Mild concern? Humbug.

i love cracking masculine codes.

i’d like to hang out more” means “i want to have sex with you.”

come over and we’ll watch a DVD” means “we’re having sex.”

…and, of course…

i don’t have the time to give you the attention you deserve” means “a relationship with you? dream on.”

just call a spade a spade.


we can remember swimming in December, heading for the city lights in 1975

check out my film review of Alamar, a film about the bond between father and son, that blurs the line between documentary and fiction. but, as they say on reading rainbow, don’t take my word for it……

speaking of reading rainbow, levar burton wished me a happy birfday
i love that man THIS much. dude is totally cool. 

just found out i was quoted in THE LONDON TELEGRAPH back in january and didn’t know it. my film reviews have global reach, bitches. 
also, i was interviewed/quoted in a nathaniel g moore article published in Open Book Toronto which you can read here about the state of the short story versus the novel. i love how mr moore calls me a “cultural persona” and “lass about town” (hit the nail on the head, ‘natch). it’s interesting reading what other people in canada’s literary scene (aka “Can.Lit”…..aka “CLit”) have to say about it. it’s great that we’re getting a discussion going about this because too much snobbery exists in both veins and it’s good to get this out. especially as a writer. if you’re attempting either of these forms of literature, this is a must read.

back in january, i was an invited panelist at York U on the subject of Writing/Creative Writing/Publishing and how to make a career out of it. now I’ve been invited back by the university newspaper Excalibur, which i used to write for waaaay back in the day, to speak to journalism students and current Excalibur writers on how to make a career out of journalism. if you’re a York U student interested in a career in journalism and want to hear how i became the UTTER SUCCESS (tumbleweed) that i am today, come out on monday, march 7th at 4:30pm in room 420 of the Student Centre on campus, and watch me yap yap yap about myself. best pastime ever.

i’ve been cast in a musical theatre production called Alligator Tears which will have a couple performances at this year’s Paprika Festival at the Tarragon Theatre. it won’t be a polished performance, we’ll all probably have script-in-hand, but it’s a hella-funny musical about rural Ontario in the 1950s. the musical is by Britta Johnson. i play a town gossip.
how apropos.
details here:
Performances of Alligator Tears:

Saturday March 19 @ 1 PM
Friday March 25 @ 8 PM

Tickets
Tickets are on sale now through the Tarragon Theatre box office!
Tickets to the Paprika Festival are FREE! With one exception. The Friday night performance of Alligator Tears is doubling as a fundraising performance for the festival. This means ticket to this performance will be $10 each. More details about the evening will follow shortly!


Regardless of whether the tickets are free or $10, we suggest that you reserve ahead of time We absolutely had shows sell out last year so make sure you reserve your tickets in advance if you really want to see something. The Tarragon box office phone number is 416.531.1827 or you can also reserve them online through their website at www.tarragontheatre.com/tickets. There will be a limit on how many tickets one person can reserve to this year’s Festival. We are limiting reservations to four tickets per show per person.
SEE YOU AT THE PLAYHOUSE, you theatre-junkies!

i went to the press screening of Source Code earlier in the week, starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Vera Farmiga, Jeffrey Wright, and Russell Peters (somebody gonna get a-hurt real bad). it’s like speculative fiction meets Run Lola Run  meets Groundhog Day meets Ghost. lots of improbable technobabble, overwrought histrionics, some pretty cool CGI, and a message about enjoying the gift of life, or whatever. i was kinda torn on whether the performances were sufficiently satisfying, but really, the only person who consistently never disappoints is Jeffrey Wright. the man is a fireball (and surely has fire-balls in a non-STD fashion). the film opens April 1st, and there’s lots of hype surrounding it, so it will surely do well at the box office. it’s definitely an interesting idea with some cool action sequences, but there’s a repetitiveness of it that isn’t compelling enough to keep predictability at bay. i’ve said too much already.

watch the trailer here:

a warning about Christine Estima:

i do not forgive the follies and vices of others, nor their offences against me. my good opinion, once lost, is lost forever.

 i have neither the time nor the inclination to indulge your need for redemption. your selfish disdain for my feelings was colossal. there is no road home.

as you were.


>we can remember swimming in December, heading for the city lights in 1975

>

check out my film review of Alamar, a film about the bond between father and son, that blurs the line between documentary and fiction. but, as they say on reading rainbow, don’t take my word for it……

speaking of reading rainbow, levar burton wished me a happy birfday
i love that man THIS much. dude is totally cool. 

just found out i was quoted in THE LONDON TELEGRAPH back in january and didn’t know it. my film reviews have global reach, bitches. 
also, i was interviewed/quoted in a nathaniel g moore article published in Open Book Toronto which you can read here about the state of the short story versus the novel. i love how mr moore calls me a “cultural persona” and “lass about town” (hit the nail on the head, ‘natch). it’s interesting reading what other people in canada’s literary scene (aka “Can.Lit”…..aka “CLit”) have to say about it. it’s great that we’re getting a discussion going about this because too much snobbery exists in both veins and it’s good to get this out. especially as a writer. if you’re attempting either of these forms of literature, this is a must read.

back in january, i was an invited panelist at York U on the subject of Writing/Creative Writing/Publishing and how to make a career out of it. now I’ve been invited back by the university newspaper Excalibur, which i used to write for waaaay back in the day, to speak to journalism students and current Excalibur writers on how to make a career out of journalism. if you’re a York U student interested in a career in journalism and want to hear how i became the UTTER SUCCESS (tumbleweed) that i am today, come out on monday, march 7th at 4:30pm in room 420 of the Student Centre on campus, and watch me yap yap yap about myself. best pastime ever.

i’ve been cast in a musical theatre production called Alligator Tears which will have a couple performances at this year’s Paprika Festival at the Tarragon Theatre. it won’t be a polished performance, we’ll all probably have script-in-hand, but it’s a hella-funny musical about rural Ontario in the 1950s. the musical is by Britta Johnson. i play a town gossip.
how apropos.
details here:
Performances of Alligator Tears:

Saturday March 19 @ 1 PM
Friday March 25 @ 8 PM

Tickets
Tickets are on sale now through the Tarragon Theatre box office!
Tickets to the Paprika Festival are FREE! With one exception. The Friday night performance of Alligator Tears is doubling as a fundraising performance for the festival. This means ticket to this performance will be $10 each. More details about the evening will follow shortly!


Regardless of whether the tickets are free or $10, we suggest that you reserve ahead of time We absolutely had shows sell out last year so make sure you reserve your tickets in advance if you really want to see something. The Tarragon box office phone number is 416.531.1827 or you can also reserve them online through their website at www.tarragontheatre.com/tickets. There will be a limit on how many tickets one person can reserve to this year’s Festival. We are limiting reservations to four tickets per show per person.
SEE YOU AT THE PLAYHOUSE, you theatre-junkies!

i went to the press screening of Source Code earlier in the week, starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Vera Farmiga, Jeffrey Wright, and Russell Peters (somebody gonna get a-hurt real bad). it’s like speculative fiction meets Run Lola Run  meets Groundhog Day meets Ghost. lots of improbable technobabble, overwrought histrionics, some pretty cool CGI, and a message about enjoying the gift of life, or whatever. i was kinda torn on whether the performances were sufficiently satisfying, but really, the only person who consistently never disappoints is Jeffrey Wright. the man is a fireball (and surely has fire-balls in a non-STD fashion). the film opens April 1st, and there’s lots of hype surrounding it, so it will surely do well at the box office. it’s definitely an interesting idea with some cool action sequences, but there’s a repetitiveness of it that isn’t compelling enough to keep predictability at bay. i’ve said too much already.

watch the trailer here:

a warning about Christine Estima:

i do not forgive the follies and vices of others, nor their offences against me. my good opinion, once lost, is lost forever.

 i have neither the time nor the inclination to indulge your need for redemption. your selfish disdain for my feelings was colossal. there is no road home.

as you were.


>take this sinking boat and point it home, we’ve still got time

>

check out my live concert review of Biffy Clyros sold out show here in toronto last week. they were nominated for several Brit awards recently, and i think they were much deserved. great concert by a band relatively unknown here in north america but are MASSIVE back home in the UK. yeah, i said ‘back home.”

also check out my film review of Biutiful which i wrote last year when the film was screened at TIFF but was just released commercially last week. javier bardem has a best actor oscar nod for his performance and this film is up for best foreign language film (against canada’s Incendies...tough race)

photo courtesy of Sheldon Levine

i was contacted recently by this dude whom i blogged about last fall. the dude from my childhood growing up in the suburbs of montreal. he’s gonna be in toronto next week for a short few days and wants to catch up.

i haven’t seen the man since 1993 when i was a gawky pre-pubescent growing up on the wrong side of fortune. everything that happened back then, i put that to bed a long time ago and have dealt with it, but that was only made possible by him being so far out of my life without chance of re-entering. i’m kind of petrified of coming face to face with the catalyst for so much pain. he’s a different person now, and has been very supportive as of late. but saying hello to old ghosts wasn’t really on the agenda…

it’s not gonna stop me from seeing him, for nothing more than sheer curiosity. and maybe for a little closure, 18 years later.

i made this video compilation from the Biffy Clyro show as well featuring their two songs “Bubbles,” and most recent single “Many of Horror” (fuck you X factor). the venue was so small, and i was right up against the stage next to frontman Simon Neil….if this had been london, i never would have been able to get this close to them. they can sell out the Brixton Academy…possibly the O2 in London…

it’s fellow UK music fan and tweeting-fox Catherine!
i’m planning a trip to new york city to work on some edits on my novel, but mostly to do research, as some sections are set there. i’m thinking end of march/beginning of april. i love new york city, as the entire world does, there’s just a vibe there that is hard to find elsewhere (although in all fairness, toronto does come close). i’ve been there three times now and always enjoy myself, especially the last two times mostly because i visited a certain friend there who always provides the shits n giggles (wink wink)
so i thought i’d contact him to let him know, and i remembered he’s on twitter, but of course he hasn’t tweeted since christ was a cowboy. but he does follow a shitload of people which suggested to me that he goes online often.

so i start checking out some of the people he follows, which leads me to the twitter account of some kid photographer who went to egypt as a freelancer

and that kid photographer tweets that he has a sister who does something in fashion, so i’m checking out her fashion tweets.
and there are all these tweets on her twitter account which leave little doubt that she’s the GF of my new-york-shits-n-giggles boy. 
luckily, i’m not really bothered (there’s no way to blog that and not make it sound doth-protest-too-much-y, but honestly, it doesn’t bother me). him and i were only ever one thing. he’s smokin’ hot as brimstone, and a dynamo you-know-where but we have absolutely nothing in common (except for one thing) and have never really had a proper conversation. so if he’s found someone that makes him happy, more power to him… to them both.
BUT.
going through the GF’s tweets led to some unfortunate revelations. without going into too much detail, there’s little doubt in my mind now that when i saw him last year, they were actually officially a couple. which means he made me “the other woman” without my consent. which is fucking bollocks.
i mean, c’mon dude, just TELL me you’re with someone! who cares! don’t make “the other woman” for fucks sake. i feel like i’ve been punk’d or something.

i mean, what’s wrong with being a stand-up bloke? just say “sorry chris, i’d love to hang, but i’m with someone, so it’s not kosher this time around.” that’s all he had to say, and i’d be like, “bummer. i understand. fanks for keeping me in the loop. some other time hombre!” but no, instead i find out on twitter he’s been all up in my grill while simultaneously all up in her grill which, by the steadfast laws of 6-degrees-of-kevin-bacon, means i’ve been indirectly girl-grillin’ without my knowledge. 
mind fuck!
so i’m not gonna tell him that i’m going down to NYC this time around, i’ll really rather not see him anyway. this sucks because, even though we were awkward-city-population-2, i still thought of him fondly as a cool guy.
maybe i’m framing him in a poor light right now because i’m angry, so let’s try to remember all the things i liked about him (other than the obvious)….. he had this very quiet quality about him that, i guess in contrast to my mouthy-ness, was very appealing. still waters run deep syndrome or something. 
but considering that him and i never really opened up to each other, i was never able to understand the core of his quietness or the nature of it. so really, being hurt by this revelation now, is neither here nor there.
whatever. i’m done with him. 
NEXT!
i went to the public butter to see if i could find pair a decent pair of 2nd hand Chucks (which i’ve been jonesing for as of late). found a pair, tried them on, liked them. but they had paint stains all over them and the laces were ripped apart. $20? fuck that bro. so i go to the guy behind the cash.
“i have a question.”
hipster snob with a man-shionista attitude cashier-job says “yah?”
insert section where i describe problems with shoes
“well the shoes are fine,” he snaps
“they’re the only ones you have, and they’re kinda falling apart.”
“what do you want me to do?” snorty scoff
my thoughts, “your fucking job, dumb ass.”
my voice, “i don’t think they’re worth $20.”
“well i can’t negotiate prices with you, the shoes are fine.” rolls his eyes and says everything in a holier-than-thou tone
so i say “absolutely, but perhaps you can ask someone who can.”
“no they’re not here. so there’s nothing i can do for you,” said in a tone to try and make me feel cheap for asking.
“this is a second hand shop, is it not?”
his voice: “yes, but that doesn’t mean we can change prices.”
what i heard: “I am a huge douche with a small brain who works this shit job that i hate and i’m gonna take it out on you because i can and no one’s watching.”
so i just look at him. pause. then say
“WOW.”
then walked out, dumping the shoes behind me.

i mean seriously, dudes. don’t try and pull the “we’re not second hand we’re upmarket vintage we’re gonna charge you whatever we want for beat up shit” act and think no one’s gonna call you on it.
furthermore, if you guys talk to everyone who walks in there and asks a simple question like i did, then you’ve got fucking problems.
my recommendation: don’t shop at The Public Butter. store is staffed by dishonourable cunts whose customer service is a civilization in decline. i mean, fuck man, i’m a hipster (and yes, i know by saying that, it totally negates my hipsterdom) but you don’t see me pulling the snob-holier-than-thou-manshionista bullshit. 
the place is a poison pickle. i’m over it.
NEXT!

 i went to the opening night of The Middle Place (fanks for the comps Joanne!) at CanStage Berkeley. i already saw this play last fall when it was at Passe Muraille, but i really wanted to see it again because it was soooooooo gooooooooooooood. this is what great theatre is all about – dynamic, reflexive, commenting on issues that are immediately affecting the neighbourhood in which the play is staged, and gives voice to a marginalized community without being didactic or telling the audience how they should feel. and i love how the playwright andrew kushnir plays himself in the play! CLEVER-CLEVER LAND! also, the best actress i’ve seen on the toronto stage yet (and i see a lot of theatre) is akosua amo adem, who is probably the main reason i came back a second time anyway. she’s made of amazesauce. i watch her performance and i’m like “this is why i’m not an actress, cuz i sure as shit can’t do that!” anyway, the stage design is sparse, but it’s the use of space and lighting which really adds a neato layer to the drama and conflict. i love how the actors can just seamlessly switch between characters like MPD.
go see this play! all the theatre-fags in da hizzouse, put ya hands up!

i want you to know your quarry
i went to the press screening of Beastly last week, a new movie opening next month which is a modern take on the Beauty & The Beast tale. it was filmed in montreal, but it sucks. it has Neil Patrick Harris. but it still sucks. it has some cool make-up techniques and effects. but it still suuuuuuuucks.
you wanna know what’s even more fucked up? Mary Kate Olsen was actually the best thing about this flick. 
is that weird? that’s weird, isn’t it. 
i guess in comparison to vanessa hudgens and new hot-shot alex pettyfer, anyone will look swell.
alex pettyfer wasn’t bad per se, i just wasn’t paying attention to a single thing he said. he was on mute in my head for the entire running time. this is a guy that you will love to look at, but would probably want to duct- shut his mouth when you’re banging him……urgh, i just took a look at his age. so my “banging him” comment now comes across as sex-offender-awful.
meh.
watch the trailer here:

damn, women in the 40s knew their shizzle. why couldn’t they have passed this knowledge down to us, instead of making us learn about it from sex and the city?

my birthday is next week.

i accept all forms of gifts, regifts, degifts, monetary compensation, flowers, and sexual favours.

i’m now at an age where i can no longer admit to my age. when i met up with Garin, i joked that i was turning 20, and he believed me until i corrected him! so when i lie about my age from now on, everyone is sure to believe me.

unless they read this blog.

KFANKSBAI


take this sinking boat and point it home, we’ve still got time

check out my live concert review of Biffy Clyros sold out show here in toronto last week. they were nominated for several Brit awards recently, and i think they were much deserved. great concert by a band relatively unknown here in north america but are MASSIVE back home in the UK. yeah, i said ‘back home.”

also check out my film review of Biutiful which i wrote last year when the film was screened at TIFF but was just released commercially last week. javier bardem has a best actor oscar nod for his performance and this film is up for best foreign language film (against canada’s Incendies...tough race)

photo courtesy of Sheldon Levine

i was contacted recently by this dude whom i blogged about last fall. the dude from my childhood growing up in the suburbs of montreal. he’s gonna be in toronto next week for a short few days and wants to catch up.

i haven’t seen the man since 1993 when i was a gawky pre-pubescent growing up on the wrong side of fortune. everything that happened back then, i put that to bed a long time ago and have dealt with it, but that was only made possible by him being so far out of my life without chance of re-entering. i’m kind of petrified of coming face to face with the catalyst for so much pain. he’s a different person now, and has been very supportive as of late. but saying hello to old ghosts wasn’t really on the agenda…

it’s not gonna stop me from seeing him, for nothing more than sheer curiosity. and maybe for a little closure, 18 years later.

i made this video compilation from the Biffy Clyro show as well featuring their two songs “Bubbles,” and most recent single “Many of Horror” (fuck you X factor). the venue was so small, and i was right up against the stage next to frontman Simon Neil….if this had been london, i never would have been able to get this close to them. they can sell out the Brixton Academy…possibly the O2 in London…

it’s fellow UK music fan and tweeting-fox Catherine!
i’m planning a trip to new york city to work on some edits on my novel, but mostly to do research, as some sections are set there. i’m thinking end of march/beginning of april. i love new york city, as the entire world does, there’s just a vibe there that is hard to find elsewhere (although in all fairness, toronto does come close). i’ve been there three times now and always enjoy myself, especially the last two times mostly because i visited a certain friend there who always provides the shits n giggles (wink wink)
so i thought i’d contact him to let him know, and i remembered he’s on twitter, but of course he hasn’t tweeted since christ was a cowboy. but he does follow a shitload of people which suggested to me that he goes online often.

so i start checking out some of the people he follows, which leads me to the twitter account of some kid photographer who went to egypt as a freelancer

and that kid photographer tweets that he has a sister who does something in fashion, so i’m checking out her fashion tweets.
and there are all these tweets on her twitter account which leave little doubt that she’s the GF of my new-york-shits-n-giggles boy. 
luckily, i’m not really bothered (there’s no way to blog that and not make it sound doth-protest-too-much-y, but honestly, it doesn’t bother me). him and i were only ever one thing. he’s smokin’ hot as brimstone, and a dynamo you-know-where but we have absolutely nothing in common (except for one thing) and have never really had a proper conversation. so if he’s found someone that makes him happy, more power to him… to them both.
BUT.
going through the GF’s tweets led to some unfortunate revelations. without going into too much detail, there’s little doubt in my mind now that when i saw him last year, they were actually officially a couple. which means he made me “the other woman” without my consent. which is fucking bollocks.
i mean, c’mon dude, just TELL me you’re with someone! who cares! don’t make “the other woman” for fucks sake. i feel like i’ve been punk’d or something.

i mean, what’s wrong with being a stand-up bloke? just say “sorry chris, i’d love to hang, but i’m with someone, so it’s not kosher this time around.” that’s all he had to say, and i’d be like, “bummer. i understand. fanks for keeping me in the loop. some other time hombre!” but no, instead i find out on twitter he’s been all up in my grill while simultaneously all up in her grill which, by the steadfast laws of 6-degrees-of-kevin-bacon, means i’ve been indirectly girl-grillin’ without my knowledge. 
mind fuck!
so i’m not gonna tell him that i’m going down to NYC this time around, i’ll really rather not see him anyway. this sucks because, even though we were awkward-city-population-2, i still thought of him fondly as a cool guy.
maybe i’m framing him in a poor light right now because i’m angry, so let’s try to remember all the things i liked about him (other than the obvious)….. he had this very quiet quality about him that, i guess in contrast to my mouthy-ness, was very appealing. still waters run deep syndrome or something. 
but considering that him and i never really opened up to each other, i was never able to understand the core of his quietness or the nature of it. so really, being hurt by this revelation now, is neither here nor there.
whatever. i’m done with him. 
NEXT!
i went to the public butter to see if i could find pair a decent pair of 2nd hand Chucks (which i’ve been jonesing for as of late). found a pair, tried them on, liked them. but they had paint stains all over them and the laces were ripped apart. $20? fuck that bro. so i go to the guy behind the cash.
“i have a question.”
hipster snob with a man-shionista attitude cashier-job says “yah?”
insert section where i describe problems with shoes
“well the shoes are fine,” he snaps
“they’re the only ones you have, and they’re kinda falling apart.”
“what do you want me to do?” snorty scoff
my thoughts, “your fucking job, dumb ass.”
my voice, “i don’t think they’re worth $20.”
“well i can’t negotiate prices with you, the shoes are fine.” rolls his eyes and says everything in a holier-than-thou tone
so i say “absolutely, but perhaps you can ask someone who can.”
“no they’re not here. so there’s nothing i can do for you,” said in a tone to try and make me feel cheap for asking.
“this is a second hand shop, is it not?”
his voice: “yes, but that doesn’t mean we can change prices.”
what i heard: “I am a huge douche with a small brain who works this shit job that i hate and i’m gonna take it out on you because i can and no one’s watching.”
so i just look at him. pause. then say
“WOW.”
then walked out, dumping the shoes behind me.

i mean seriously, dudes. don’t try and pull the “we’re not second hand we’re upmarket vintage we’re gonna charge you whatever we want for beat up shit” act and think no one’s gonna call you on it.
furthermore, if you guys talk to everyone who walks in there and asks a simple question like i did, then you’ve got fucking problems.
my recommendation: don’t shop at The Public Butter. store is staffed by dishonourable cunts whose customer service is a civilization in decline. i mean, fuck man, i’m a hipster (and yes, i know by saying that, it totally negates my hipsterdom) but you don’t see me pulling the snob-holier-than-thou-manshionista bullshit. 
the place is a poison pickle. i’m over it.
NEXT!

 i went to the opening night of The Middle Place (fanks for the comps Joanne!) at CanStage Berkeley. i already saw this play last fall when it was at Passe Muraille, but i really wanted to see it again because it was soooooooo gooooooooooooood. this is what great theatre is all about – dynamic, reflexive, commenting on issues that are immediately affecting the neighbourhood in which the play is staged, and gives voice to a marginalized community without being didactic or telling the audience how they should feel. and i love how the playwright andrew kushnir plays himself in the play! CLEVER-CLEVER LAND! also, the best actress i’ve seen on the toronto stage yet (and i see a lot of theatre) is akosua amo adem, who is probably the main reason i came back a second time anyway. she’s made of amazesauce. i watch her performance and i’m like “this is why i’m not an actress, cuz i sure as shit can’t do that!” anyway, the stage design is sparse, but it’s the use of space and lighting which really adds a neato layer to the drama and conflict. i love how the actors can just seamlessly switch between characters like MPD.
go see this play! all the theatre-fags in da hizzouse, put ya hands up!

i want you to know your quarry
i went to the press screening of Beastly last week, a new movie opening next month which is a modern take on the Beauty & The Beast tale. it was filmed in montreal, but it sucks. it has Neil Patrick Harris. but it still sucks. it has some cool make-up techniques and effects. but it still suuuuuuuucks.
you wanna know what’s even more fucked up? Mary Kate Olsen was actually the best thing about this flick. 
is that weird? that’s weird, isn’t it. 
i guess in comparison to vanessa hudgens and new hot-shot alex pettyfer, anyone will look swell.
alex pettyfer wasn’t bad per se, i just wasn’t paying attention to a single thing he said. he was on mute in my head for the entire running time. this is a guy that you will love to look at, but would probably want to duct- shut his mouth when you’re banging him……urgh, i just took a look at his age. so my “banging him” comment now comes across as sex-offender-awful.
meh.
watch the trailer here:

damn, women in the 40s knew their shizzle. why couldn’t they have passed this knowledge down to us, instead of making us learn about it from sex and the city?

my birthday is next week.

i accept all forms of gifts, regifts, degifts, monetary compensation, flowers, and sexual favours.

i’m now at an age where i can no longer admit to my age. when i met up with Garin, i joked that i was turning 20, and he believed me until i corrected him! so when i lie about my age from now on, everyone is sure to believe me.

unless they read this blog.

KFANKSBAI


>you are created on the bubbles at night, i’m chasing around, trying to pop them all the time

>

 myself and nat at the #GenYTO social media dancegasmphoto by dan levy, photobomb by sacha (fucker)

so the big news that i referenced in my last post can now be officially announced:
i am a finalist in the Writers Union of Canada Short Prose Competition!
HELLYEAHFUCKYEAH
this particular short story of mine was submitted to several literary journals and magazines last year and rejected across the board, but i KNEW it was a fucking good story, so i was like “fuck ya’ll, i’ll enter it in a contest,” and lo-and-behold, out of 525 entries, and a long-list of 114, i make the short-list of only 12 other writers….and i’m the only finalist from Toronto.
YA SEE?
i talk to so many writers and failed novelists who gave up their dreams after receiving a stack of rejection letters higher than the day is long. i receive rejection letters (sometimes personalized, but mostly form-letters, and often cheap emails) all the time but i mostly disregard those letters with a scoff because i KNOW my writing is made of awesomesauce. i know i’m talented and just because my story didn’t make it past some intern at a magazine screening stories for keywords or themes, doesn’t negate the amazerbeams emanating from my chutzpambition.
(disclaimer: i don’t use these faux-words in my short stories. but i should)
ANYWAY (hello tangent), reading this competition’s press release also reminds me that my story was read and chosen by LITERARY POWERHOUSES sharon pollock, tarek fatah, and K.V. Johansen.
brainjaculation.
although i haven’t won the competition, the Writers Union of Canada will be submitting the story on my behalf to some literary journals and magazines for publication. Fingers crossed, with the WUC seal of approval next to it, it’ll get published.
god gawwwwwd, chrissy needs to eat.
my last short story publication was 2009, so i could really use another creative writing credit to my name (this would be my fifth short story published).
anyway, if you’d like to congratulate me, form an orderly queue, ‘natch.
 photo by casie stewart
i’m also extra happy this week because A) Reg gave me a tear-jerking shout-out on her tumblr B) i’m house-sitting AGAIN in parkdale which makes me wanna lick the homeless (in a good way) C) Boy-surfin with Raymi at Sofi’s Valentine’s Day singles mixer was mega-giggles, and D) I totally made out with someone at that mixer that I don’t even think I like (in fact, i kind loathe him). I’ll hafta fend him off and ignore his texts now…but ugly kissing is always hot.

oh sheldon, my husband, how you strike a pose just so. 
photo by casie stewart

Highway 63 is a play currently running at Theatre Passe Muraille. I saw it last night with Amanda. I may be biased because the show’s creator Layne is one of my best friends ever, but i LOVE-LOVE-LOVED IT! it’s funny! it’s cleverly staged! it’s fast-paced and witty and poignant and heart-warming and unabashedly-Canadian….and i loved that dude who plays Chad, he has a talent brimming with so much staggering genius, when he’s doing something huge like driving a forklift, or something little like miming a TV remote control, you’re captivated. i have a theatre-crush on him. this happens quite often. i see a guy on stage in a play whom i don’t even know and fancy his character. so i project that onto him and then get all googly-eyed. it won’t last, surely (altho my theatre crushes on geoffrey tyler and ryan hollyman haven’t dissipated yet….dammit. any day now).
that being said, SEE THIS PLAY. 
i went to the press screening of Four Lions this morn, which has been out on DVD in the UK for a year but is only opening in Canada now. we’re behind on so many things. the humour in this black-comedy is so refreshingly different from north american comedy, you can’t help but love it while it subtly presents its message as well. of course, because i lived in the UK for years, i got many of the references, allusions, and inside-gags. i think Canadian audiences may or may not balk at this if they don’t get it. that being said, i think it’s deffo worth a whirl! watch the trailer here:

i scored a reviewer pass to tonight’s Biffy Clyro concert. last month it was White Lies, now this.

UK music trumps your tastes.

this quote is kinda apropos for the work i’m doing on my novel-edits. not just in its message, but also in the fact that it’s an Andy Warhol quote…..my novel’s protagonist is a visual artist. book-readers will either love that, or they just won’t “get” it.
writing a novel is like trying to walk up a long staircase on your knees.