Click on the above image or click here to read my latest essay in VICE about a douchecanoe that I knew for only 2 hours TWELVE YEARS AGO and wouldn’t piss off, so I lost my shit on him. It’s probably my greatest #ByeFelipe triumph.
This serves as a reminder, ladies, when a Yoko Brono uses the term “spinster,” it actually opens up a rift in the Space-Time Continuum to 1915.
So if you’ll excuse me, I need to jump in my autogyro and head to Constantinople to meet with the King of Siam. Hope he’s not a Bolshevik!
And dudes, here’s your takeaway: if you don’t want to be written about, you should have behaved better.
Check out my VICE category for all of my other essays that have been published in VICE.
And remember to check out the all-new ChristineEstima dot com! It’s where you’ll find all of my published works!