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Posts tagged “vice

The #friendzone & dudebros: my latest essay in @Vice

So this is a funny story. Last week I got into a Twitter spat with some jabroni who was going on about the “friend zone.” I was frankly shocked to see it coming from a so-called “gentleman,” (he uses that word in his twitter handle like all gentlemen do, ‘natch) because in the circles I run in, using that term is a laughable offence. Forgot that there actually are people who think that’s a perfectly acceptable term (and the word for those people is ‘nimrod’).

In any case, one of the staff writers at VICE saw my tweets and told me I should definitely turn this into a piece.

See? NEVER SHY AWAY FROM HAVING FIGHTS ON SOCIAL MEDIA.

I WILL HAVE ALL THE FIGHTS WITH STRANGERS ON THE INTERNETZZZZZZZ.

Kidding! (Not kidding)

Click here to read the piece in full.

As always, don’t forget to check out the official Christine Estima dot com for more of my published essays, stories, travel writing, interviews, and more.

 

 


Travelling While Woman: Check out my latest essay in @vicecanada

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Travel for women is never simple, espesh when you require reproductive health care on the road. That’s the topic of my latest essay for VICE. Solo women travelers always need to plan for incidentals that men need not – whether it’s what we can wear in any given country, to what kind of health care we can access – and many times these services are priced beyond our budget, not covered by insurance, and require extreme measures.

Click the above image or here to read.

Don’t forget to check out the official Christine Estima dot com to read all of my previous essays for VICE and many other magazines, newspapers, and journals. TO THE TYPEWRITERS!

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Check out my latest essay in @VICE: Nicole Arbour’s lack of satire

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My latest essay has been published in VICE, about the ragebait videos of Toronto cheerleader Nicole Arbour: we all know she’s racist, misogynist, and a fat-shamer, but she also loves to hide behind the banner of “satire” to get away with her bullshit. This piece is about her lack of understanding of what constitutes satire, and also, why comedy is so important and relevant when done right.

Also, I get to talk about her asshole.

 

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It’s also one of the more popular pieces on the VICE network as of right now, so that’s pretty rad.

Some new details about her have emerged since publishing this piece (which I won’t get into on ye olde blog), and I’m getting a lot of private messages from people who have worked with her and know her, who say they can confirm some allegedly criminal behaviour on her part. Toronto is a massive metropolis but it’s small enough that everybody knows everybody somehow, and if your shit smells, people are gonna talk about it. I don’t address this controversy in my piece, but it’s interesting to note and keep in mind.

Anyway, enjoy!

Don’t forget to check out Christine Estima dot com if you want to read more of my published works, included many more of my VICE essays.

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My latest @VICE essay: bad-as-fuck women populate #TIFF15 films

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Check out my latest schlepp’ for VICE, this time about all the amazingly badass beautiful broads in  TIFF films this year. Writing this piece was so fun because I got to attend the pre-TIFF press screenings for two weeks. I see a lot of bad movies so you don’t have to (and some good ones). There was only one film I saw that I didn’t include in this piece, simply because there were no women in it — Son of Saul — but holy fuck, I highly recommend that film as well.

I used to cover TIFF every year as a critic, but I haven’t done it since 2011 when I was still writing for Exclaim! It was so difficult seeing like 5 films a day, and having to file your reviews by like 7am the next morning, and then doing it all over again! I swore after that year I’d never cover TIFF again, but I guess old habits die hard.

Anyway, enjoy, comment, and share! Happy TIFF’ing.

As always, don’t forget to check out the official Christine Estima dot com where you can find all of my published works and more.

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Translating the Abandoned German Letters from 1946

Last year when I was living in Brussels, I was frequenting my absolute favourite flea market in the world Jeu de Balle, buying photographs and love letters and other trinkets. As usual, when the flea market is over, the vendors usually leave a whole trove of junk just lying on the cobblestone grounds that either they couldn’t sell, that broke, that was damaged, that got soaked from the rain, or that they just don’t want to transport back to their warehouses. The thing is, the street cleaners come in very quickly after the market is over to pick up all the trash and wash the square clean! So if you’re crafty, quick, and don’t mind getting your hands dirty, you can get your hands on some amazing antique and vintage gems.

Seeing as how I’m an excellent scavenger (and I don’t like paying for things), I would always scour the cobbles (and in between the cobbles!), go through the piles of trash, kick over soaked boxes and rifle through all the discarded remains for whatever meant something to me. From my scavenges, I have procured monochrome photographs from the 1920s, gold-rimmed picture frames, and these two letters written in German in 1946.

As you can see from the very top picture, the stamps were ripped from the envelopes (probably because 1946 stamps are worth a lot!) but I was more interested in the contents of the letters!

Luckily, the internet loves to help! I tweeted out for help in translating them, and a wonderful follower of mine from Berlin, who wants to be referenced here as Resa Lamego, offered to help! She was able to translate the letters very quickly because her English is amazing, and even though she was busy travelling down to Heidelberg, she still did a fabulous job.

The letters mostly just contain mundane minutiae of these women’s lives from 1946, nothing mind-blowing or tragic or epic, but the language employed is quite nice!

Here’s an excerpt from the 1st letter (edited for content… really just the most interesting parts!)

Malmö, the 28-08-1946

My dear Mady,

Thank you so much for your lovely letter! I’m glad to hear you are in Switzerland. It is wonderful that they all who have been/ used to be in Germany gain such a trip. From the photo I can tell that the nature must be very beautiful. I hope you are completely recovered/healthy when you travel back home! Do you really believe you will be able to come to Sweden? I would be so happy if it was possible. Then you must come to Malmö. As before I got the children from (..)? Now we got the Karl-Jo-Haus-School back. Last year sick children from France and Austria were living there […] One always needs to be with the children, one needs to help them to eat, to play and to bathe. […] It is very hard to write in German and I make many mistakes. I hope you are able to read it? I have never been very good in German but maybe it is harder than usual because I was reading in English the whole winter long. I received my major and can now be a teacher of English. Half of my summer months this year I spent in an international school in Helsingor and there English was the conversational speech. Now my head is full of English words and phrases. So now I need to practice in this letter otherwise I will forget my German and that can’t be!

My dearest regards,

Anna-Kerstin

And here’s an excerpt from the 2nd letter, unedited because the whole thing was totally cool.

Malmö, 13-10-1946

My dear Mady,

Thank you so much for your letter! From the date I can tell that it has been already over a month before I received your letter. I can’t really understand why. Time has passed so quickly. Now you probably are back in Belgium? If so, I send this to your home. Have you recovered dear Mady? Oh, I hope you are from the bottom of my heart!

So, Mady, you think I am chubby/big? Oh well, that is possible. I love to eat and maybe I do it too much. The photo was from summer and then I am always bigger because then I don’t have my work. So I think now it’s better. One doesn’t like to be big!

I got from your letter that you are glad to be back in Belgium. Here in Sweden we have a saying: Foreign countries are good, but home is always the best. And I believe that is very true. I haven’t been to foreign countries, you know, except Denmark and Norway and that for us aren’t really foreign countries. For the next summer I hope I will be allowed to travel to England. I am supposed to have English classes with children, you know and of course it should be very good for me to spend a few months in England. That way one learns the language much better.

Dear Mady, you say that maybe you will come back to Sweden. How happy I should be if that was possible. Will you come alone or with other people? Oh, it would be wonderful to meet you again. Please Mady, if you can, so come, come! I am telling you my dearest welcome!

And now, Mady, to a quick ‘hear-you-again’, I hope!

My dearest regards!

Anna-Kerstin

P.S. May I also send my regards to your family?

Oh Anna-Kerstin, you sweet Danish-living-English-teaching friend! How wonderful and sweet you were to your friend Mady! And such a shame that someone saw fit to discard your beautiful letters into a trash heap in Brussels. So glad I recovered them and saved them!

As I wrote about for VICE, the main reason why personal items like this end up on the fleas is because the owner passed away and their family just wanted to liquidate all the belongings. Why? They probably weren’t on very good terms.

So Mady, I hope you had a good life. Your surviving family is shit.

To the flea markets!!


My latest @VICE essay: TAMPONNNNNNS

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Check out my latest essay in VICE about the removal of the tampon tax (huzzah!) but how saying the word tampon in public brings about an avalanche of giggles and side-eye.

I say the word “menstruating” a lot. Blood blood blood blood. BLOOD CLOTS. Enjoy!

It’s one of the most popular essays on the network, which is always great to see.

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Check out my VICE category for more of my essays that I’ve written for them. And don’t forget to check out the all new ChristineEstima.com where you can find all of my published works.

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Fired Him Right In The Paycheque: my latest @VICE essay, #FHRITP

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I wrote about #FHRITP for VICE. TL;DR – dudebro comedy is a subtle art & bitches be cray. Pffft. Females, amirite?

#Satire

Click here or click on the above image to read it.

The piece is being received very well, it’s one of the most popular on the VICE network.

fhritp most popularIt’s great to see how responsive people are to this, so I’m well chuffed. I told my editor I was worried the satire therein might fall flat & people would think I was condoning #FHRITP. Lesson learned: never assume your audience won’t get it. Oh they get it.

Fanks for getting it, munchkins. YOU ARE THE WIND BENEATH MY WINGS.

Check out my VICE category for all of the other essays I have written for them.

And don’t forget to check out my freshly-pressed ChristineEstima.com for more writing samples and links to my published works.

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Check out my latest @VICE essay: #ByeFelipe

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Click on the above image or click here to read my latest essay in VICE about a douchecanoe that I knew for only 2 hours TWELVE YEARS AGO and wouldn’t piss off, so I lost my shit on him. It’s probably my greatest #ByeFelipe triumph.

This serves as a reminder, ladies, when a Yoko Brono uses the term “spinster,” it actually opens up a rift in the Space-Time Continuum to 1915.

So if you’ll excuse me, I need to jump in my autogyro and head to Constantinople to meet with the King of Siam. Hope he’s not a Bolshevik!

And dudes, here’s your takeaway: if you don’t want to be written about, you should have behaved better.

Check out my VICE category for all of my other essays that have been published in VICE.

Enjoy!

And remember to check out the all-new ChristineEstima dot com! It’s where you’ll find all of my published works!

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My latest #VICE essay: Don’t ask me to kill your cat, m’kay?

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This actually happened to me earlier this month, and I’m still actually really upset about this incident, but my editor at VICE suggested I write about it, so here it is. I AM FILLED WITH RAGE-AHOL. And also sad-sniffles. I mean, who does something like that? I totally lost my shit.

FUCK HER.

FUCK HER FOREVER.

Anyway, fanks for reading and for the support. Check out my past VICE essays and op-eds all here.

And don’t forget to check out ChristineEstima dot com for all of my previous publications and other fancy-schmancy shit that I get up to.

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My latest essay in @VICE: Live by the gun, die by the gun

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Check out my latest essay in VICE, all about the scary shit you can find when you Google your family. I remember Kevin Bacon once said in an interview that when you Google yourself, it’s called Google-bating (like masturbating but with Google). Yeah.

See, this is the problem with newspapers putting their archives online. This was a total mindfuck for me. Family secrets! ARABIC FAMILY SECRETS!

Click here or click the above image to read the essay.

You may have noticed this blog is missing from navigation tabs above. I used to have “about me,” “media coverage,” and “writing portfolio” tabs up in the header. If you want to see all the splendiforous things I’ve done, you’ll now have to visit…

CHRISTINEESTIMA DOT COM

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There you’ll find an IMPROVED “About Me,” a FANCY-SCHMANCY “Writing Portfolio,” and a SUPER SWAG “Media Coverage.”

Don’t forget to update your links.

Fanks for reading, munchkins.


Defiance

Last month I performed at Raconteurs here in Toronto. Raconteurs is just like The Moth or Spark London, both of which I have performed at before. Live storytelling, and spoken word, my friends. Get on it.

I had suggested to the organizer that we try the theme Defiance, so of course I made sure I was one of the speakers. My story basically was the inspiration for this VICE article that I sold that last month.

Fanks for supporting my Spoken Word endeavours over the years, munchkins.

Want more? Here’s my Moth StorySlam piece that has garnered over 700 views in just one week!


My latest VICE essay: Germany’s flea markets have a dirty little secret

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You guys know I’m a huge flea market nut. I’ve blogged about the stuff I’ve found before. But the flea markets I used to patron in Germany when I lived there (specifically Cologne and Berlin) all carried lots of Nazi junk, which for a Canadian, is not something you ever get used to seeing. In this piece, I talk about the disturbing nature of these pieces, and also how they have affected me.

I feel like our morbid interests aren’t inherently good or bad. It’s what we do with those interests that’s important … I think learning from this stuff is a positive thing.

Click here or on the above photo to read it.

I took all of the photographs featured in the piece. The one of the framed monochrome photographs on a mantle is actually in my bedroom. Those couples just look so happy!

If you missed it, read my last VICE essay about my stint on reality TV, or my first VICE piece about my wicked-awesome eyebrows.

Fanks for reading, munchkins.


Confessions of a Reality TV Whore: A Cautionary Tale

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Check out my latest essay in VICE, about the clusterfuck that is reality TV, and how I shit-talked my way onto not one, but two of ’em. Click the above image or click here to read.

If you missed it, here’s my VICE essay from last week about my bushy fucking demon-eyebrows.

Like last week, my essay is one of the most popular on the Vice network.

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Fanks for reading, munchkins!


The Brow Game: my latest essay published in Vice

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I have had so many interactions with people lately based solely on the furry situation happening north of my eyes that I thought I’d write an entire think-piece on it. I sold it to Vice because, as you know, they love a good eyebrow think-piece. I mean, who doesn’t? Amirite? Click on the above image, or click here to read it.

I’ve been reading Vice since 1998 and am a long-time subscriber, so it’s nice to be included in their canon. Back then the only place in Toronto you could get Vice was in the entryway to Suspect Video at the first of the month, and you had to scramble because everyone was snatching them up. When I was living in London, I found a record shop on D’Arblay Street in Soho that stocked Vice waaay in the back, so you wouldn’t know they had it unless you were a regular.

I remember years ago reading this particular Don’t from their Do’s & Don’ts section and pissing myself with laughter. Satire at its finest!

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You laughed. Admit it.

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Looks like Buzzfeed got wind of it.

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And it was one of the Most Popular articles on Vice too. Not too shabby.

I’m getting lotsa great comments from women on this piece … and lotsa “fuck-your-eyebrows-and-fuck-you” comments from aggro white dudebros.

Hail Hydra.