Video: Watch me perform @RaconteursTO!
Recently I performed at Raconteurs, a live storytelling event that happens monthly here in Toronto. I’ve performed at Raconteurs before, and as many of you know, lots of other Spoken Word events around the world like The Moth, Spark London, GRTTWaK, and Pressgang. I feel like these events bridge a nice gap between writing and performance. I don’t like to act much, I prefer to be vulnerable on the page, rather than on the stage, but Spoken Word and Live Storytelling are a nice way to meld the two.
I told a story about trying to become the Canadian Amélie with a little help from the Bunz Trading Zone. It’s a crazy story of trying to connect with other people — complete strangers, really — and all the foibles and follies therein. You can watch it below! Enjoy!
In this new year, I have lots of things on my plate! So many upcoming publications, performances, and more! I can’t wait to share the news with you. Even though 2016 was a dumpster fire for everyone, I made some huge advances in my career and I’m so pleased with the direction in which everything is going. Small positive steps everyday lead to big things!
Also, I have a new adventure on the horizon! On Valentine’s Day, I head to Helsingborg, Sweden for the first time! I’ve never been (even though I lived in Europe for years and years), so when a housesitting opportunity arose, so I had to take it. After Sweden, I’ll be swinging through London, Brussels, and Amsterdam to visit my friends (and celebrate my birfday! What a crazy 3 weeks this is going to be….), so if you’re in Helsingborg and want to show this wee Canadian lass around, hit me up!
As always, don’t forget to check out Christine Estima dot CALM (har har) to read all of my published articles, watch my performances, and check out my media coverage.
My Writing Space
I once blogged about my writing practice and process, and I feel this is a nice dovetail: my writing desk and space. We all need to carve out our own little nooks in this world, and this tiny corner is mine.
This where I do all my writing: all my short stories, all my blogging, and all my freelance articles are done here, including a little doodling and reading now and then. I decorated it like this because I think it reflects me and my personality best. Some people prefer really modern, sleek, office-y, stainless-steel-type designs, and others prefer a kind of non-descript, antiseptic look. But I wanted my space to be peppered with all of the things that inspired me, visually and spatially, and all the things that really mean something to me.
For example, these are my Lebanese grandparents making-out on their front porch in Montreal circa 1948. I typed out that Bukowski quote on my typewriter. All the picture frames were bought from London flea markets, but a few I found discarded on the sidewalk. Who throws out gorgeous picture frames?!
That photograph in the foreground of the two 1920s women pushing the pram: I have no idea who they are. I found them discarded on the flea market grounds in Brussels right before the sky opened up and an incredible tempest washed everything away. I feel like I saved them.
Those are Belgian telegrams, and also some French postcards ad German letters, which I bought from their respective flea markets. I typed out the quote at the bottom, and I found the image of the typewritten quote at the top online and then printed it out on photographic paper at a pharmacy in London.
I got the antique iron keys from a friend who bought them for me when I was living in Copenhagen. I typed out the Dumas quote, and it sits on a small blue photo album from the 1940s that I bought in Paris. The vase & saucer I got at a London flea market, and the typewriter ribbon tin I bought at the Brooklyn flea.
The pill bottles in the foreground I got at a flea here in Toronto. The red-cover books in the background are all travel guidebooks from the 1920s, 30s, & 40s. It’s so interesting to read about “where to find a public bathhouse in London,” or about how many Francs you can get for your Crowns, Half-Crowns, Shillings, and Sovereigns. There’s even a section on why French customs strictly prohibits British matches from entering the country, but you can bring your own cigarettes. Also, air travel was so new, that they don’t really mention it. They only mention taking the ferry from Dover to Calais! The guidebooks have fold-out maps and even photographs. Looking at Amsterdam then and comparing it to now is such a mind-fuck.
That’s a Bukowski quote.
I bought that cigar box from a flea market in Düsseldorf. I put all of the small monochrome photographs that I bought from flea markets around Europe in there. A note about the photographs: I don’t know the people. I am assuming they’ve all passed, seeing as how their personal family photo albums were for sale on flea markets. I buy them because they look so happy. I like their faces. Also, sometimes going through private photos reveals some interesting secrets, as I wrote in an essay for VICE recently … And if they’re not in the cigar box….
… they’re hanging on my wall. From left to right, I bought him in Brussels, him in Copenhagen, and her in Paris.
That babe second-from-right is my Mum when she was 18. The rest, left to right, Brussels, Brussels, Berlin, and the child on the right is from Amsterdam.
These ladies are so old, they’re beginning to fade, but I love them all the more because they’re so bad-ass. On the left, I bought them in Paris and on the back it’s dated June 18, 1929. On the right, I bough her in Brussels, it’s dated August 18, 1922. She’s so fucking cool, I can’t even. I’m all out of evens.
Bought both from Brussels. Street scenes and street photography from the early 20th century are so amazing to me. I love the composition of the left photo! Right photo on the back is dated May 1942 and it says they just returned from shopping.
There’s my gorgeous bee-yooot. Read this for the story behind the provenance of this baby.
Some of the books that really moved me that are resting on my desk are All That I Am by Anna Funder, The Reader by Bernhard Schlink, The Cellist of Sarajevo by Steven Galloway, The Dark Room by Rachel Seiffert, and Captain Corelli’s Mandolin by Louis de Bernières.
I feel like I become a different person when I sit down at this desk. Outside, I’m gregarious and silly and hungry and moving and yelling and dancing and what not… but here, I am something else.
I have a lot more upcoming publications yet-to-be-announced, but now you know where I was when I wrote them.
Remember to update your links and visit the new home of ChristineEstima.com!
NYC gets #IcyandSot
I first photographed Icy and Sot in Amsterdam, both on the street at at one of their gallery shows. They’ve become street art darlings since then, with major turns at Norway’s NuArt fest in Stavanger, and also, it seems, New York City. I literally couldn’t walk through a single borough without running into their work. Most of these were in conjunction with the Bushwick Collective, but also, they were part of the Welling Court Project. Even still, some of it just seemed to be good, ol’ fashioned illegal graff. Good on ’em.
This delightful mural in South Williamsburg just went on and on….
… and on….
This massive, colourful explosion in Bushwick seems to depict suicide bombers in Iraq, but it could also be the way protesters are gunned down in Gaza. Or perhaps it’s Tel Aviv. Syria? Tahrir Square? I’m not really sure, but then again, the goal isn’t to precisely identify what the artist is trying to say. The point is to make it mean something to you.
I love how his arm reaches up and hangs off of the barbed wire on the roof.
Apologies for not getting a close-up of his hand. I should point out that I took these photographs the first week of January when it was about -20 degrees and removing my hands from my mitts to take photos was a race against frost bite. I could only take maybe two or three pictures before my hands would sting and splinter and redden and become numb. Graff hunting in winter is so much different than in summer. Le sigh.
Their famous portrait here in blue was a massive mural up in Queens, as part of the Welling Court project.
I love this cop and his shadow mural off of Meserole in Bushwick. It must have been erected during the Black Lives Matter protests, as it seems to be a direct comment on Police Brutality, and appearance vs reality when it comes to New York cops.
Freaky.
You know what’s funny of this walking boy of theirs? If you go on Instagram, everyone thinks this is Banksy.
No, beebees, just, no.
Dream big!
I will do anything you tellllll meeeee toooooooooo.
#IcyAndSot do some major Amsterdammage
Thanks to the good-ol’ street art blogs, I found out while I was in Amsterdam that Persian street artists Icy and Sot were having an opening of their work near Het Spui whilst I was there. So of course I made sure to check out the show, and during my unDutchable excursions, found a whole bunch of their stencils and works across the city.
A window-dressage at Het Spui around the corner from their opening.
This gorgeous piece was right next door to the gallery.
And now, to the vernissage! The works for sale were mostly the same ones on the street.
It was really great to find their work on the back streets and narrow alleys of the city before the show. When work is on the city walls, it’s ephemeral and democratic and free for all to enjoy. At the shows, the exact same works are removed from their site-specific power and transferred to canvas, hung on taupe walls. I fully support artists putting on shows (artists need to make money just like the rest of us), I guess I just prefer the wild nature of liveable street art. In French the term “sauvage” is apropos here, and that’s the quality that really speaks to me. I guess I’m just not sure what happens to street art when it’s not on the street. What is it then?
That being said, if I had the funds, I probably would have bought the entire gallery.
Also, there was food, and I hadn’t eaten all day.
Oh don’t give me that look.
#Laser314: Her Brows Were All It Took
As many of you know, I’ve been photographing Laser 3.14‘s street art for well over a year now. I’ve blogged his work so much, that him and I have become friendly. Friendly enough that he even gave me the nickname “Brows” because of my infamous eyebrows (they really are the only reason people like me, let’s be honest). Every time I’m in Amsterdam, he let’s me know the locations of some of his latest works so I can go on a graff-hunt.
Here are some of his newest works to be found on the streets of my beloved Amsterdam.
The future is already haunting us
Children of the electric funk
Promises of heaven
Giving us hell
I peel off my skin
So I can reach the inner me
The drapes are drawn
Our bodies entangled
Intertwined
(This one is my favourite, obvi)
My favourite thing about this photograph is the shadow of the guy next to me who took a swig from his liquor bottle right as I snapped this photograph, and the shadow of him falls upon Laser’s work, giving it a level of potency, methinks.
Welcome to (my life). This was number 1.
This was number 2.
Versace never reassured me.
This was particularly potent because the street it was on had some pretty upmarket high street shops like Gucci and Ermenegildo Zegna.
The certainty of uncertainty
(this to me is like the flip side of the ol’ Death and Taxes saying)
It’s clear
It’s lucid
Just fine
Heed
the Vortex
Of bloodshed
And violence
Yours too? What are the odds!
She explodes
golden arches
Everywhere
She controls the knob
Or as I like to think of this one, “She stoops to conquer.” Har har.
Laser told me this one is actually around 3 or 4 years old, so we’re both shocked it’s still kicking around!
Check out my Laser 3.14 category so you can see all of his pieces that I’ve photographed in Amsterdam. And the next time you’re in the ‘dam, make sure you check out his work!
Laser 3.14’s graffiti-poetry hits Amsterdam again
Sorry for not blogging for almost 3 weeks! It’s been crazy around here. I went from Berlin, to Regensburg, to Amsterdam, and now I’m in Paris, where I will be situated for the next little while … ah, the life of resourceful nomad. Expect more photojaculations about all of these adventures!
Anyway, you, my little munchkins, might remember the last few times I have blogged about Laser 3.14, the graff-poet of Amsterdam. Well, I let him know that I would be in Amsterdam for a week, and he sent me all the locations of his most recent bombings. The work, as always, is thrilling and moving. Dude speaks exactly what is on my mind and in my heart, and he has recently had a few gallery exhibitions and openings that have been met with lots of press and accolades. Dude is going places.
This one I found on my own. Someone had wrapped up the tarp & knotted it through itself (see the hole right before the 3?). I had to unravel it just to photograph it. Almost get yelled at the home owner. Totally worth it.
Found this one also by mistake. It’s part of an older batch, hence its poor state. It says “blind idealism destroys reason.”
Found this by accident. It’s one of my favourites.
Another from his older series. “Don’t just murmur your insanity.”
Again, an older one that I just stumbled upon. It says “Travis the streets are swept.” You’ll see in some of these pieces I’m about to blog that he likes to use the names of his friends in his tags….
“Oh you’ll know when it’s too late.”
When I found this one in the pouring rain, that red bike was blocking the piece. I had to pick that fucking tank up and move it out of the way. It was obvious that bike hadn’t been moved in some time because of the cobwebs on it. I’ve seen some pics lately of others photographing this piece and the bike is where I left it.
YOU’RE ALL WELCOME!!!!
“This panorama is for you.”
What a panorama…. cough.
“Mind control is everything, everything is mind control…” upside down.
NEAR…
FAR!
“Things don’t work that way Timmy.”
Remember what I said about the names?
“Nobody believes the media… except when it’s in their own interest.”
“Reap the tame heart, and all.”
NEAR…
FAR!
This was on the other side of the previous one! Two tags on one corner= my idea of christmas.
As I’ve noted in past blogs, Laser 3.14 almost exclusively only tags construction boards and tarps. My guess is that he does it so that no one’s property is damaged by his tags. Those tarps and construction boards are only up temporarily. Also, they seem to provide an awfully potent frame for his poetry. The boards act like excellent frames, and the tarps give his words a kind of ethereal beauty. Lately I find myself extremely disappointed when I pass a construction site and cannot find his work.
FUCK YEAH.
And this one was on the other side of the previous. It’s like a poetry corner!
“Wrong underdog, try the one next door.”
Again with the friends’ names 🙂
This has to be some inside joke, I don’t get it. Who’s egg man?
This one is my absolute favourite and really speaks to me. “Too much love for after the fact.”
Yes, yes, GOOD GAWD YES.
BACK OFF, GET YOUR OWN IDEALS!
So nice, he tagged it twice.
“The Goggle age questions your ideals.”
As you’ve seen from this huge haul of his work, Laser 3.14 is interested in online privacy, the theatre of the media, capitalist ideals, the state of Europe, personal agency, and of course, as always, matters of the heart. This is what good street art is, people. TAKE NOTES.
Check out my Laser 3.14 category for more of his work that I’ve photographed.
The Best Life
I’ve been on the road for three weeks now, and I’m so glad I decided to throw off the shackles of suspended animation and stationary living that were cutting into my skin (In short, paying rent is for suckers). I’ve been a backpacker for nine years now, and even though I have been to so many places, and learned a lot, I always seem to discover new places and learn new things. So far all the cities on this journey are places I have been to/lived in before (Brussels, Amsterdam, Copenhagen, and soon Berlin), but it’s hard to be bored in these cities. I’ve forsaken flying, and have been taking the delightful European trains like a civilized person. I’ve been Couchsurfing and house-sitting, which has allowed me to make new friends, snuggle with some snuggle-pets, and take the time to really explore without feeling rushed. My days consist of drinking sweet lattes, writing in my journal while sneaking glances at the pretty bearded hipster dudebro behind the counter, walking around a European metropolis in the sunshine, taking photographs of provocative street art and urban art, indulging in Pain au Chocolat’s without a trace of guilt, going to flea markets, spending hours at enthralling museums, rocking out to Nils Frahm, and partaking in SO MUCH EUROVISION (I had no idea when I came to Copenhagen that I’d be here at the same time as the Eurovision Song Contest, but boy has it been fun! Go Conchita go).
A friend of mine recently sent me this message:
I am forced to agree.
Here are some highlights and urban art from my travels this past month.
Brussels
In Brussels, of course my first stop was the Jeu de Balle flea market to spend hours upon hours rummaging through boxes to find some love letters. Remember this? Anyway, I found 10 love letters written between a husband and wife from 1956-8 in Brussels. He was a military doctor and so he was stationed away from home quite often. Look at that lipstick kiss in the letter! They totally got it bad for each other. I also found a letter written during WWII (it’s undated but I’m guessing from the letters’ contents that it’s from about 1944) written between cousins about how “les sales boches” (aka The Nazis) have invaded Belgium and the family misses their homeland. They are in exile in an area of France that was not occupied by the Nazis and 12 family members are living in a small flat. The cousin writes to the other cousin, begging him to join her, saying, “we will make space on the mattress for you.”
I love you, Jeu de Balle.
Jef Aerosol has an ongoing exhibit just around the corner from Jeu de Balle.
Amsterdam
Of course no trip to Amsterdam is complete without going hunting for a few Laser 314‘s 🙂
I also spent a great deal of time at Amsterdam’s Resistance Museum, and then following a map to all of the important locations in the city during the Nazi occupation, including where Jews had to buy their Star of David armbands, the theatre converted for mass deportations, the Carlton hotel that a war plane smashed into, the bombs that dropped on a home on the Herengracht, the air-raid shelters, and more. Highly recommended if you’re into WWII history like me
This is Laser’s nod to 1984.
Copenhagen
When you take the train from Hamburg to Copenhagen, the train (which is only 4 small carriages) goes ONTO THE FERRY. No one ever believes me when I tell them this.
SELFIE.
Ah, Copenhagen. I was last here in 2006 (read my post from that time here, and this post has all my photographs from back then). If I’m being honest, my memory of my time here in 2006 is rather hazy, so I’m glad I’m spending a good chunk of time here.
This is wonderful. An underwater sculpture in one of the canals.
The boats have to be careful, otherwise their propellers will be destroyed.
Kirekegaard’s grave!
Hans Christian Andersen’s grave!
I swear, Copenhagen is filled with so much antiquity, and so few people, that sometimes, you can walk down a street, preserved in detail for 200 years, and wonder if you’ve stepped through time, without the presence of cars and technology to distract you.
I’m still in Copenhagen, so this section is a work in progress. More photographs to come! I have SO MUCH STREET ART TO SHARE!
Stay glued.
Amsterdam, the lights, the Delft, and Girl With A Pearl Earring
From Foam Gallery’s William Klein exhibit.
The luxurious flat that was my home for two weeks in Amsterdam.
Birfday selfie.
It looks like it’s the Bible… but . . .
. . . when you open it up, it has pictures of the Holocaust on the pages. This is from the Gallery Huis Marseille.
The Delft
An image thematically used in Girl With A Pearl Earring
Speak of the devil!
She’s everywhere in the Delft.
I helped these little guys cross the road and back into the canal. I felt pretty good about that. They were so quacky.
The size of a tree. Delft-oddity.
Embedded in the cobblestones…
… is the earth.
When it comes to bicycles, the Dutch mean business.
Graffiti and street art on the streets of #Amsterdam
Here are some of the gems that I found whilst cycling around Amsterdam for two weeks. Some of these artists I know, some I don’t, but it’s all really great work!
Once again, I have to reiterate that there is so much of your city to discover if you just keep your eyes open. Cultural activities don’t require tickets. All you need is a keen sense of direction, a bike or a walking shoes, a camera, and a curious nature. Art is free! It’s on your walls! Go discover it!
Someone blighted her face. FOR SHAME.
Is that an Ewok? YUB-NUB!
A day without laughter is a day wasted…. I dunno, sometimes a cry feels pretty good.
I don’t know “Karma” but I like that idea.
Boxhead is quite literal.
Why, it’s KID ACNE! I’ve blogged his work before in London! He’s very YAY!
See her?
See her? DO YA?
Don’t mess with her, she’s bad to the bone.
Great job Kid Acne!
Tyler the Creator is terrifying.
Haha, there’s a Dutch joke in here. “Albert Heijn” (pronounced HINE) is the name of a supermarket in The Netherlands. So, here they have Albert Heijnstein! WOCKA WOCKA WOCKA. They even changed E=mc(squared) to E=ON(squared)… the “ON” is the logo for the Albert Heijn “on the go” basic shops.
It’s FAILE! I haven’t seen Faile’s work since Brooklyn! No idea she (he?) had been over here. Ok, I don’t know if Faile is male or female… that rhymes.
This image is really pretty.
Even prettier when you take into the account the gorgeous building it’s on.
Sexist graffiti. Not a fan. I don’t enjoy this. NEXT.
YES. That’s better.
See it?
Because it’s torn, there’s no way to know if it said “should” or “could.” I think both are apropos.
Bust?
MAC?
I’m on the fence about this one.
I saw a lot of Fabrice’s work in Amsterdam, and I chose not to photograph it all because it seemed to be commissioned. I’m more of a fan of spontaneous art, rather than state-sanctioned art, but that doesn’t mean it’s not pretty and well-done.
WOOF!
Erm….
Uh…
Hey look it’s Albert Heijnstein! He’s even wearing a jersey and carrying a bag with the supermarket’s logo on it.
Somewhat decent.
This kid is the supermarket superhero, apparently.
We will meet in the present tense
Found this near Nieuwe Prinsengracht in Amsterdam.
#Amsterdam’s word on the street
The Dutch love erecting sayings and quotes on their buildings … bless ’em.
Like all great travellers, I have seen more than I remember, and I remember more than I have seen.
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
Men under the guidance of reason desire nothing for themselves which they do not also desire for the rest of mankind.
This was on the wall at Café Brecht, which makes sense, as this is a Brechtian quote. It translates (roughly) in English to, “Because things are the way they are, they will not stay the way they are.” I found this wall last year, when I titled this post.
Haha! So true.
Aw. Bless.
Ok so this wasn’t in Amsterdam, it was in the Delft. I found it when I took a daytrip there to visit the birthplace of Johannes Vermeer.
This was on an abandoned, boarded-up building.
It’s Emily Dickinson.
“To make a prairie,
it takes a clover
and one bee.
One clover,
and a bee,
and revery.
The revery alone
will do
if the bees are few.”
#Laser314’s poetry on the streets of Amsterdam will make your heart ache
Some people go to Amsterdam for the pot. Some go for the ladies in the red-lights. Some go for the bicycles.
I went for Laser314 (whom I have blogged about before). If you don’t know, Laser 3.14 is a street poet. He sprays his unique and original lines of poetry (yes, they’re his words) all over the city in English. Most locals tend to appreciate his work, as it is not seen as typical narcissistic vandalism. The poetry is moving, heart-breaking, ephemeral, and packs an emotional punch. When I found this piece last summer, I needed to sit down on a nearby bench. I just tried to breathe.
It was a glorious two weeks.
I was lucky enough, through the magic of the webernet (heehee), to get into contact with the elusive Laser, and he instructed me to go graff-hunting in certain areas of Amsterdam, where I found many of these pieces.
But I also found many of these pieces on my own, just from using some intuition, a bike, and good pair of walking shoes 🙂
After a while of hanging out in Amsterdam and finding Laser’s work, I started to easily identify possible places he might have bombed. He seems to favour either the tarps that go over construction sites, or the plywood that protects constructions sites. There are very few instances of his poetry-art appearing on anything else (although I have seen photographs of his work appearing on skips and industrial garbage bins). If I were to hazard a guess, I would say he does this because, this way, he’s not permanently damaging anyone’s property. Those construction tarps and boards will come down, eventually. No harm, no foul, no clean-up, no damage. Everyone wins.
Travel beyond the shroud.
I adore this one.
We are always on the verge of something.
Vermin gnawing holes in democracy.
This one was the hardest to photograph because half of the piece was covered by cinder blocks and construction. It says, “Days of confusion precedes the age of reason.”
And the horses waited to be tamed…
Life can be such a lonely place.
Ha ha ha!
Vote Nixon, he’s dead.
Progress. Regress. Regrets.
Hello, I’m your assassin!
I wish I was someone…
I hope to find more on my next journey to the ‘dam. Well, if I’m hoping for things, I hope to meet someone who’ll spraypaint poetry about me one day …. but one step at a time, Chris.
Ah, so much Amsterdam-Awesomesauce.
More street art pics to come from my time in the most magical city on the planet… just you wait.
Phlegm’s The Bestiary and C215’s Back to Black!
I’m off to Amsterdam for two sensational weeks, including my birfday (I’m turning 33, but I’m still technically younger than Jesus)!! Let me know if any of you munchkins will be in the area.
WE CAN CALL OURSELVES THE UNDUTCHABLES.
Think about it.
Anyhoo, I recently visited the gallery exhibitions of two of my favourite street artists. Phlegm and C215. This is really some gorgeous work in London right now, and the exhibitions are FREE FREE FREE so please check them out before they’re gone!
First, Phlegms “The Bestiary.”
Check out my Phlegm category for more of his work that I’ve photographed!
And now, C215’s “Back to Black!”
Use the force, Luke . . . I’ve run out of lubricant.
I think this one is my favourite.
Check out my C215 category for more of his work that I’ve photographed around the world!
See you in Amsterdam, munchkins! TIME FOR SOME AMSTERDAMMAGE.
Impossible is just a big word
When I was wandering around Amsterdam this summer, I rented a Dutch bicycle for a few days so I could cycle to and from the parks. I would bury my face in the grass so no one would pay attention to me. They would think I was sunbathing instead of dying (which is what I thought was happening). Then one evening, I was strolling by the Prisengracht when I noticed this rusted Dutch bicycle, consumed by florid blooms and foliage. It was like the two things keeping me alive had melded into one thing.
And then I found this scrawled across someone’s front window. It’s a Muhammed Ali quote. I seem to have taken that to heart. I am doing such amazing things right now, that the life I was leading earlier this year feels like it never happened. It was a nightmare I can walk away from, unscathed. I am becoming the woman I’m meant to be, and there’s no thumb pressing me down. I’m starting to think walking away was the best decision I ever made, especially since everything these days is going to plan.
Some big news to announce soon…. when I have more details, so will you.
In the meantime, enjoy this Franz Kafka quote that I typed up on my lovely typewriter!